to have taken my baby into an outpatients waiting room?

(127 Posts)
FannysYourAunt Thu 09-May-13 18:12:28

DH had an appointment at the ENT department of our nearest hospital, around an hour away from us.

He doesnt drive so I picked him up from work and took him to the hospital with our dd, 12 months. When we got there the waiting room was packed full so we took a seat. Dd is very ahem, vocal at the minute so was doing a LOT of loud babbling, not crying or shouting just baby chatter.

The amount of dirty looks and tuts I got were unbelieveable, I could help but wished I had stayed in the car.

Was I being unreasonable.. Is it the done thing notto take young babies to these places or was these people being grumpy?

Grateful for any replies as DH has a few of these appointments in the near future..

SirChenjin Sat 11-May-13 20:22:32

I've been visiting ENT departments since I was a toddler, thanks to meningitis at 18 months, and have waited for all sorts of results. I don't need peace and quiet anymore than anyone else, but I have noticed that a lot of people in ENT waiting rooms tend to be elderly for obvious reasons, and therefore prone to tutting over the little things - esp. as babies and children that make a noise didn't exist in their day.

YANBU OP

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 11-May-13 20:21:28

Well I think we'll have to agree to disagree.

WouldBeHarrietVane Sat 11-May-13 20:20:05

No Jamie, to me there is no pragmatic issue. People use hospitals, families want to wait together whoever is having the appointment and I can't see any reason, whether philosophical or pragmatic, for dc not to be there.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 11-May-13 20:16:21

..and not having children around is an option. It's normal and desirable in many places.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 11-May-13 20:06:12

WouldBe

I don't agree. I think you are trying to make a philosophical point about a pragmatic problem relating to a particular venue in particular circumstances

WouldBeHarrietVane Sat 11-May-13 19:58:54

The fundamental problem is that we've become a society where not having children around is perceived as an option. I can't think of any occasions when I've been bothered by kids anywhere, pre of post dc.

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I can't imagine in Scandinavia that people would complain about children being present in a hospital.

Joiningthegang Sat 11-May-13 19:55:03

Yanbu
This thread is odd.

Loud babbling is one thing - not the same as persistent crying or screaming.

Novemberish Sat 11-May-13 17:20:52

It is not unreasonable to take a baby to a hospital waiting room

It is not unreasonable for other patients to become irritated by noise and other distractions.

It is unreasonable to continue making the noise, or allowing it to be made, when others are clearly uncomfortable.

It would be unreasonable for another person to verbally abuse a child for making noise in this situation.

Somewhere in among this mess of human interaction is a fine line that needs to be followed. On another day with other patients, it would probably be fine to stay in the room with the child. If the child is a patient, and therefore also likely suffering some degree of discomfort and/or apprehension, the others will have to deal with the situation. it comes purely down to judgement and respect and in the situation outlined in the OP, I personally believe the baby should have been taken for a walk or to another location, at the very least for the duration of the husband's appointment.

We often pride ourselves on a society that protects the most vulnerable, and for very good reason, this is often equated with children. In my opinion and experience, there are many people who take this to the assumption that children must always be protected, indulged and put first in all situations. In some situations however, there are people who are more vulnerable that the child and I believe this would apply in a medical waiting room where the comfort of an adult, who is worried and possibly in pain should be respected over a happy, healthy, babbling baby.

2rebecca Sat 11-May-13 16:20:11

I agree with Dominodonkey. The appointment wasn't for the mum and baby so there was no reason for them to hang around in a crowded waiting room. It's not much fun for anyone. I'd have asked the receptionist when she thinks your husband will be finished with and return then and go off for a walk. There isn't enough room in the waiting area for whole families to hang around.

Dominodonkey Sat 11-May-13 15:40:44

No the op was not really being unreasonable but if the baby does not really need to be there as its not their appointment it might be considerate to other patients (and the baby) to take it somewhere where it can babble loudly and no one would mind.

It is nice if people are considerate and if people (like the op in this case) can be considerate without causing major stress to themselves then they should.

Those who say the baby can't help it and so should just be allowed to make as much noise as it wants as its a free country are the reason why people give worried or dirty looks when people bring their babies into restaurants or confined spaces- they give responsible, considerate parents a bad name. (Not saying the op isn't responsible or considerate especially as she has taken thread comments on board.

ShellyBoobs Sat 11-May-13 14:19:45

megandraper I think your post could be misinterpreted and if so you could possibly come across as being thick as shit.

Bunbaker Sat 11-May-13 13:40:16

"But then I don't hate children, unlike half the people posting on this thread, apparently."

I don't hate children, but I don't particularly like other people's children. I am just not a child orientated person. So flame me.

crashdoll Sat 11-May-13 11:38:54

Babbling yes but loud noises, NO NO NO! Although I'm just a child hater, so what do I know? wink

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 11-May-13 11:37:58

hackmum

That's a low blow.

I am a nervous wreck at any hospital and sorry but think would have been irritated by a noisy small child.

hackmum Sat 11-May-13 11:30:11

I would be quite cheered by the presence of a babbling baby in a hospital waiting room. They're normally fairly dismal places. I would probably engage it in a game of peek-a-boo. But then I don't hate children, unlike half the people posting on this thread, apparently.

crashdoll Sat 11-May-13 11:21:16

For those people who think it is acceptable to have a loud baby in a hospital waiting room for an appointment that is not theirs (the baby's), I can only assume you've never sat waiting for potentially horrific news and felt physically unwell, as well as terrfied? The lack of empathy of some parents is astounding.

It is not the same as 'older people' (WTAF?!) because a baby can and should be removed by an adult. I don't care if your baby babbles or screams in Tesco but when I am sitting waiting in a hospital, I do care if I feel unwell and you do nothing about it when there is something you could do e.g. leave the room with the baby.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 11-May-13 10:58:44

comparisons

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 11-May-13 10:58:31

megan

making extreme straw man comparison is also "bonkers" IMO

Even the OP admits maybe SWBU

megandraper Sat 11-May-13 09:27:02

I find unattractive people off-putting. I think they should be banned from hospital waiting rooms in case they disturb me when I'm feeling vulnerable.

Oh, and old people too. Shouldn't be allowed in hospital waiting rooms in case they remind people of getting old.

Most people in this thread are bonkers.

Bunbaker Sat 11-May-13 06:59:26

But not everyone wants to be entertained by a small child, no matter how cute and adorable it might be.

idiot55 Fri 10-May-13 22:03:24

Of course you werent being unreasonable.

In my experience having a baby / small child in a hospital waiting room is entertaining to those waiting!

I am always glad to be entertained by small people!

JamieandtheMagicTorch Fri 10-May-13 20:50:17

I agree Shadow

ShadowStorm Fri 10-May-13 20:45:44

I wouldn't expect anyone to leave a waiting room on my behalf either. And in many cases, the parent will have no option about staying in the waiting room - the appointment may be for the baby itself, or the parent who's got the appointment may have no-one else to leave the baby with.

But that doesn't mean that parents should keep a noisy baby in the waiting room, where they may be upsetting ill people, if there's an alternative option. In the OP's case, there was an alternative - the OP could have taken the baby out of the waiting room, as the appointment was for her DH.

WouldBeHarrietVane Fri 10-May-13 20:03:24

Children are part of the community and I can honestly say that even before I had DS I never felt annoyed by them in dr or hospital waiting rooms.

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