Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

to think a bithday party till 9.30 on a 'school night' is rather an odd choice anyway

(24 Posts)
BackforGood Wed 08-May-13 22:33:24

* or, obviously on a trip or somewhere where they were our responsibility

BackforGood Wed 08-May-13 22:32:54

I only expect the school to act in loco parentis when my dc are at school.

As a teacher, I only took responsibility for my pupils when they were at school too. Very often you become aware of families parenting in a very different way from the way I would, but there's a limit to what you can do, or, tbh, even should do, if it's not a Child Protection issue.

I hadn't seen the other thread sorry. Looks like the OP and I would disagree though grin

Schools do interfere with home life all the time - you must equip your child with this and that, you must bring your child in for x time, some schools say what can and can't go in lunchboxes and then there's the issue of homework. Plus any school which ignored risks to the children posed by their homelife circumstances would quickly find themselves in deep water.

We expect teachers to act in loco parentis so we need to accept that cuts both ways.

ryanboy Wed 08-May-13 09:50:12

If the kids are tired (and really 9.30 isn't late for an 11 yr old let alone a 13 yr old) usually the tiredness hits not the next day, but the day after

Ds is in yr 6 and goes to scouts until 9,30 on a school night. Is it really that late as a one off?

AngryGnome Wed 08-May-13 09:36:18

I don't think that the parents have been wise, choosing to have this party on the Sunday night before a week if SATs - surely the following weekend would have been better. However, it is absolutely inappropriate for the school to interfere, and grilling the young girl on exactly who was coming to her party is completely wrong.

Rufus43 Wed 08-May-13 09:35:41

I agree with Plinkyplonks. I think that the letter was reasonably worded and that the school felt that they should remind the parents of the importance of the SATS. The parents are quite within their rights to ignore the letter. FWIW I think SATS are a bit if a waste of time in year 6, but I would not let my child go as I think it would send out a bad message for future (important) exams.

Slipshodsibyl Wed 08-May-13 09:26:10

The SATs results are used in league tables. This really matters to the schools' Inspection report.

Whatever one thinks of sATs, children who have been wound up at a party will not be asleep by 10.30 and will be tired and not at their best next morning. More sensible parents will have to disappoint their own children by turning down the invitation.

School are having to carry out more and more parenting duties these days. This is just another example of a sensible Head trying to help a parent's lack of common sense, consideration, and respect for educational outcomes.

ryanboy Wed 08-May-13 09:25:25

She is 13, she is not doing SATS. If the parents of some of the younger guests feel it is too late then it's up to them to decline.
Our headteacherdid something similar over a cricket match that finished at 8.30 saying the Y6s should leave early!!
Doesn't she get how a cricket match works!!

MrsWeasel Wed 08-May-13 09:23:59

There is already a six page thread on this story.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a1750160-This-Headmistress-is-having-a-laugh

TheCraicDealer Wed 08-May-13 09:19:39

It's different to leaving swimming or scouts at 9pm though. Leaving a party at 9:30pm, loaded with sugar, adrenaline and excitement over Taylor getting off with Ellie and OMG, they played a One Direction medley...hardly makes for a good, restful night's sleep, does it?

Doesn't matter how important or unimportant you think SAT's are, this is a trial run for GCSE's, etc. It's probably a good idea to start teaching them exam technique and preparation now, and when to prioritise education/exams over your social life.

Wowserz129 Wed 08-May-13 09:13:20

It's a total overreaction because its up to the parents whether they let the children go or not because of the exams not the head teacher. It was a stupid time to pick but at the end of the day I am sure that parents can make a responsible decision whether they should go and what time to be home.

plinkyplonks Wed 08-May-13 09:05:59

At the end of the day, the school are only advising what would be best of from the child education POV. SATS are important exams, I don't understand why the parents would want their child to have a party the night before the exams started. 9.30 is quite late for a school night anyway.

ll31 Wed 08-May-13 09:00:47

Complete over reaction and ott interference on schools part.

gordyslovesheep Wed 08-May-13 08:19:22

Also if this wad dd's school, with one year six class, and the majority of kids invited it could have a fairly big impact on SATs

gordyslovesheep Wed 08-May-13 08:16:58

Well they are not teenagers coconut...they are 11 and 12. I agree with the school

I have to wonder about the kind of parent who thinks a party on a Sunday that finishes at 9:30pm is a good idea. However the school is over the top IMO, it's non of their business what goes on outside of school unless the children are at risk.

I think it shows what pressure headteachers are under but tbh I do agree with the teacher that the family could have planned this differently.

NynaevesSister Wed 08-May-13 04:38:11

Of course it is the school business. Absurd exam it might be but still the most important one at primary. What message is that sending kids about the value of education?

BackforGood Tue 07-May-13 23:49:51

I think it's an odd daft choice of timing for a party, but that said, I agree with the parent that the school is going WAY beyond their remit to try to dictate what families do outside of school time shock.

DrCoconut Tue 07-May-13 23:42:20

I think it is the parents business and the school has no right to pry or get involved unless its a child protection issue which clearly this is not. I'd be really mad if school tried to dictate to me what I could do with my family in our time. 9.30 is fine for a teenagers party IMO.

Party finishes at 9.30, going to be 10-10.30 by the time kids are in bed. The 13yr olds are one thing - but the intention was clearly to invite 11yr olds too. How do you just not think 'ah night before an exam (albeit an absurdity that shouldn't exist) is not such a great night for a party'

Startail Tue 07-May-13 23:30:53

9.30 is a bit late, but not ridiculous, scouts finishes at 9, DDs gym at 8.30, but it's 9.10 by the time she's home.

Lots of her lot swim seriously, that doesn't start until public lessons end.

Let alone inviting your Year 6 daughter and her friends to party the night before SATS start. Story here in a This is Devon link.

I don't hold much of a brief for SATS at all but there is the small use that it starts to teach kids about exam technique - meaning chilled out evening and early night before start of exams. I think the teacher was quite right to point out to the parents that this wasn't a great idea.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now