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to issue a helpful ear piercing decision making flowchart?

(65 Posts)
ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 12:48:20

Here it is:

Do the ears you are thinking of piercing belong to you?
Yes = go to [A]
No = go to [B]

[A] Are they located on your own personal body?
Yes = go to [C]
No = go to [D]

[B] What the fuck? You want to pierce ears belonging to someone else? Are you mad? Other people should really have the choice over the state of their own ears don't you think? I mean would you be okay with someone randomly attacking you with a piercing gun in the street? No I didn't think so. Do NOT do this.

[C] Good luck with your decision, I couldn't care less what you choose to do. I hope you enjoy the outcome.

[D] What the fuck? You think someone else's ears belong to you? Are you into owning people? Or slavery? Or do you have some other sort of issue that makes you think that other people's bodies belong to you? Do NOT do this and remember that evil starts with treating people as possessions....and that includes children.

gordyslovesheep Tue 07-May-13 12:51:16

Snort! Yanbu

Patchouli Tue 07-May-13 12:51:26

Also....
has the person whose ears they are asked for them to be pierced?
do they need pinning down to keep still to get them done? ie physically or with bribes.

hmm

BeatenByAnEgg Tue 07-May-13 12:54:19

What if you have chopped off one of your own ears and it has been sewn onto someone else? It is your ear but on someone else's body. How does your flowchart work them? confused

BeatenByAnEgg Tue 07-May-13 12:55:25

Or if someone else has chopped off an ear and sewn it onto your body? confused. I really don't think you have thought this through.

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 07-May-13 12:56:42

And what if somebody has lent you an ear? Or if you're all ears?

HoneyDragon Tue 07-May-13 12:56:52

What if its your pet cow?

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 07-May-13 12:57:44

Or a tortoise?

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 07-May-13 12:59:43

And what if your ear is pierced by an ear-piercing scream?

Cone on, that flow chart needs a little more work!

OldBeanbagz Tue 07-May-13 13:01:23

Surely if the other person's ears that you're thinking of having pierced are 11 years old (and have been counting down the days till the start of the Summer holiday over 6 months, nagging you constantly), then you must be exempt from a 'What the Fuck'?

BeatenByAnEgg Tue 07-May-13 13:01:30

TVK - I just had to google whether tortoises actually have ears (they do, sort of, but they don't look very piercable)

BeatenByAnEgg Tue 07-May-13 13:02:36

What if you are a professional piercer? You wouldn't make much money only piercing your own ears.

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 07-May-13 13:04:45

Oh good point, BeatenByAnEgg! I think you have just exploded that flow chart.

And yes, I suspect tortoises' ears are not very piercable. sad

PatPig Tue 07-May-13 13:47:25

I give you a D-, for failing to produce an actual chart.

HoneyDragon Tue 07-May-13 13:51:06

The studs would get stuck in your teeth Kniddy.

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 07-May-13 14:18:07

That's a good point, HoneyDragon. They might upset my delicate digestive system.

UserError Tue 07-May-13 15:54:30

I. Love. You. grin

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 16:06:41

beaten ARGH I did not cover that corner case...hmmmm...back to the drawing board.

I was going to do one on not killing people (unless it is yourself) but got all tidied up in the morality of assisted suicide...

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 16:08:46

I think a key part of lending ears (or in fact anything) is that you give them back in the same state you got them...

although this rule is waved when tissues/ handkerchiefs are in play.

<gosh I had no idea that was how you spell handkerchiefs!>

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 16:10:33

I also see now that I did not cover the whole animal piercing issue...but I can't think about that without getting a bit of sick in my mouth...so erm..tough basically.

meglet Tue 07-May-13 16:15:54

Remember those clever barking scientists that grew an ear on a mouses back? You might need to add some arrows to your flow chart to take that into account.

Unless that ear belonged to a dead person in which case the mouse was then the rightful owner of that ear.

OldBeanbagz - I've got one of those too. Oh good grief I'd rather not take her ... But I promised she could, a million years ago when her 11th year seemed impossibly far off ...

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 16:23:16

I am leaving the 11-14 year old region of the flowchart intentionally blank.

I'll consider filling it in when my DD gets there....

StuntGirl Tue 07-May-13 16:23:28

"Surely if the other person's ears that you're thinking of having pierced are 11 years old (and have been counting down the days till the start of the Summer holiday over 6 months, nagging you constantly), then you must be exempt from a 'What the Fuck'?"

Well oldbeanz, since at the age of 11 one cannot (generally) get pierced in a professional studio by a reputable piercer using a needle I must draw the conclusion that said 11 year old must be going to a Claire's Accessories style place to be pierced with a 'piercing gun'. This explains why that's not a great idea.

In that case I would say it's well deserved of a What The Fuck.

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