AIBU and need to get a grip on myself?

(60 Posts)
SoleSource Mon 06-May-13 15:56:51

I am single Mum' aged 39, very overweight. DS is 14, blind Autistic, naughy' behavioural issues. The few friend's i have i rarely see and the have their.own problems.

I am always alone, no.job, on benefits, house is a shitty mess, no motivation to clean.

Mu DS spends all his time at home in bed.
I feel really alone and low.

I am better off than some i this wotld. Maybe i'm judt a fat, slob.

SoleSource Tue 07-May-13 13:47:50

I do feel better today, thanl you all for your support xx

I'm cleaning

Don't faint!!

sole im glad you are feeling better.

Keep posting though, it might make you feel better to know that people care and understand.

Hope you hear from SW soon.

JammyDodger1 Tue 07-May-13 12:27:55

Aw Sole I am pleased to hear that this morning let us know how you get on today

everlong Tue 07-May-13 12:20:35

Sorry to read that you've felt so low.

But glad today is brighter and more positive.

Do call your SW. flowers

magimedi Tue 07-May-13 11:35:28

Very pleased to hear that you are feeling better.

SoleSource Tue 07-May-13 08:24:14


I am ok today, DS excited for school and i just had a lovely guy call me about some gym equipment.

I feel good,.back to my old self agzin

Going to tidy up and have czlled SW again.

I just need to be less harsh on mysellf

I'm going to keep a Carers diary in the Carer's section if allowed

MrsDeVere Mon 06-May-13 21:23:12

CP shouldn't get involved Sole
SS will ask you loads of questions and they will want to know how/if you are coping etc
But thats cos they have to work out if you meet the threshold for help.

It sounds like they have not being keeping up with their statutory responsibilities when it comes to your son. He has significant disabilities yet they have not assessed him or you?

That is pretty bad tbh.

You sound like you could do with some advocacy to help you get the services you need. Local disability/carers orgs?

IvanaCake Mon 06-May-13 21:16:29

Sole I am in Birmingham too smile

I just got rid of my youngest to nursery for 2.5 days a week so I have time on my hands. I would gladly come and help you clean or take you out for cake. Genuine offer.

I'm a regular name changer but have been here for years smile

magimedi Mon 06-May-13 19:55:03

Wish I was closer to you, Sole. I'd come round & give you a hand.

You sound like a great person. It takes great courage to post about your problems on an open forum, and I really admire you for that.

Sadly, I'm a long way away from you, but if there is anything I can do to help in any way, just post or pm.

I've so enjoyed some of your more lighthearted posts on other threads.

wine - 'cos it's time for that.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Mon 06-May-13 18:40:13

Hey Sole, if I were closer I'd be round with cake and wine/coffee/tea/gin/drink of choice. Respite care for kids with autism is hard to come by and that is wrong. Do you use the National Autistic Society at all?

JammyDodger1 Mon 06-May-13 18:00:24

I'm not sure how long they take to reply either, but don't get ahead of yourself and start worrying about things that haven't happened.

Firstly, a boost of confidence is required to make you feel better about yourself and the rest can come later, baby steps remember?

The beauty of being on here is you have lots of advice at your finger tips from a massive range of people with all sorts of experience in many many areas and are happy to help and encourage you in any way they can.

RedHelenB Mon 06-May-13 17:58:35

Why would CP get involved - you're caring for him. But untidy houses do get you down ( mine currently a real mess but will get to grips with it tomorrow pm when I'm back from work & kids are at school)

SoleSource Mon 06-May-13 17:50:13

True Helen smile thank you

Called her on Friday, jammy no reply yet

Hope child protection doesn't get involved.

All i need is that

JammyDodger1 Mon 06-May-13 17:47:03

When is SW coming Sole smile

RedHelenB Mon 06-May-13 17:38:44

I take it your son is at school for six hours every day so you have that time to yourself? Use that time to join a group & make new friends or to spend say an hour a day tackling one part of your house. If your son is mainly in his bedroom then presumably it is your mess in the rest of the house so if you get a grip on that you will feel better. And lastly, make sure you go out for a walk every day - nothing like fresh air to beat the blues.

SoleSource Mon 06-May-13 17:38:35

smile MrsDevere

I want to apply for residential school for me too. Get out of this stale life

JammyDodger1 Mon 06-May-13 17:38:33

Aw Love, yes then, like holly says, they are there to help but I know how you feel,
I felt like that when midwives came round after dc were born and spent all morning cleaning to look like the perfect mother but you have to show then an accurate picture so they know how best to help you, and they won't judge you at all, they are there to help thanks

Would it help you to write down some questions for them?
Whenever I am on a situation I know I will feel uncomfortable with I need a plan or I forget things I wanted to say/ask.

MrsDeVere Mon 06-May-13 17:36:54

I was going to suggest residential school as an option.
It is hard to get the funding but it could be the making of you both.
Lots of kids with ASD thrive in the controlled and predictable environment of a good specialised school.

SoleSource Mon 06-May-13 17:33:12

tallwiv i think getting him to residential school will be a nightlare but i'm going to try, endless pooing like a hobby..

Yes, jammy sad

So embarrassing and fear i will be fobbed off, monitored and trezyed likr a two year old

HollyBerryBush Mon 06-May-13 17:32:37

sole I think you should. I'm surprised with the level of care your son needs, they aren't popping in regularly. Nothing untoward will happen, I know the SS get a lot of bad press, but they are there to help.

I'm sure your SW has seen much worse Sole and at least you are acknowledging there is a problem and asking for support which always looks positive.

There may be solutions you haven't thought/heard of, but please ask.

JammyDodger1 Mon 06-May-13 17:29:37

Is your thinking behind that so the SW sees you are not coping well?

Does your ds have an individual budget? Do you get carers to take him out? He really shouldn't be spending all his time in bed. What's his school like?

Have a think about residential school. I had to go through that with my ds (autistic with behavioral problems!). He's really happy there and I have energy at the weekends when he comes home.

Please make it clear to the SW that you CANNOT carry on like this <identifies with the endless pooing emoticon> x

SoleSource Mon 06-May-13 17:27:53

Jammy do you think i should just.let.the social worker see the state of my hous

JammyDodger1 Mon 06-May-13 17:26:59

Yes, sorry, maybe a dog not the thing at the moment was just thinking out loud.

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