To think that if not being able to go for a piss on your own is true then I'd rather just adopt a ready made one?

(218 Posts)
LollyLaDrumstick Mon 06-May-13 13:17:17

Always thought I wanted babies, but the stuff I see on here is absolutely bewildering.

Having to eat one handed every meal because you have a baby clinging onto you? Not being able to leave them alone for 5 minutes to have a shower? Getting interrupted when you're having a 30 second piss? Not even being able to go for a piss in the first place as they cry when you leave the room?

Is this true? Or is there a type of parent that seems to make out what an awful time they had in baby years so they are perceived as a superior parent?

My hard-hat is well and truly donned wink but please, do let me know the truth about this so I'm not taken by surprised in the future. It all seems a bit stressful!

LadyBigtoes Wed 08-May-13 10:26:20

OP you just come across as having a bit of a sharp tongue and sarcastic way with words. Nothing wrong with that IMO. But you may find you upset people (I've toned it down a lot myself as I can offend without meaning to). I took your SAHM/french song remarks as they were meant but I know SAHMs who would think you were getting at them.

I actually think your cynical attitude will stand you in pretty good stead as a parent. I mean that!

bigbuttons Wed 08-May-13 07:21:02

It was ill judged, as were a lot of her silly comments afterwards. Hopefully she'll know better in the future when she's actually mature enough to have a family.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Wed 08-May-13 00:24:00

TheOP has apologised for the title, her OP was meant lightheartedly. I don't see why posters are still attacking the posts....

...and I am very familiar with adoptions wink not that it makes any difference

ItsallisnowaFeegle Wed 08-May-13 00:20:21

Oh shite...the whole thread's moved on. Meh! As you were.

ItsallisnowaFeegle Wed 08-May-13 00:16:29

I am living all of that shit in the OP right now, but, it's not going to last forever and I wouldn't change the stinking funk, cold meals, not being able to leave the room chaos for anything! wink

piratedinosaursgogogo Tue 07-May-13 23:47:24

As another adoptive parent, I did find the thread title bothered me but I don't think that any offence was intended. I agree with Kew further upthread that if reading this makes people with birth children think a little bit more about 'light-hearted ready-made baby jokes', it won't have been a bad thing.

Kewcumber Tue 07-May-13 23:32:42

helpful comment iiiiii.

You thought it was light-hearted so we stuffy people must lighten up. hmm No-one is entitled to feel a bit irritated by the ridiculous title because you're not.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Tue 07-May-13 20:59:46

Ohh lighten up guys......

I read the OP as being lighthearted

bigbuttons Tue 07-May-13 20:34:46

It is actually an incredibly immature op

thecatfromjapan Tue 07-May-13 19:13:01

Actually, I've re-read the OP. It really is amazingly dismissive of women on mn; of women who are mothers; of the discourse of mothers.

Really rather piggish.

thecatfromjapan Tue 07-May-13 19:11:04

Hello Hazey smile. Haven't seen you for far, far too long!

Are you around on mn these days? Where? Are you on Facebook?

I think I should p.m. you these questions.

And <squeeze> to Everlong.

You know, it's the smuggery and crypto-mother-despising I find so very un-delightful in the opening post. Personally, I think that is so endemic in our culture it is quite possible that the original poster is unaware of it.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Tue 07-May-13 19:09:24

Wuldric I'm still on 2. Things.... things do get easier when they sleep through, right? <Pleading face>

GreenEggsAndNichts Tue 07-May-13 19:02:48

nvm, cross-posted. smile

AngelsWithSilverWings Tue 07-May-13 19:02:34

Yes Hazey that was the comment that did it for me!

GreenEggsAndNichts Tue 07-May-13 19:02:28

I didn't make the sad face but if I had, it would have been for your mum, not for you, obviously. 4 weeks is tiny, but you'll see that if you have one.

My mum had to be back at work after 2 weeks. Fortunately she and my father worked alternate shifts so I didn't need to go to nursery that quickly. Also I believe they shared childcare duties with a family friend who had a son about my age.

The SAHM thing, well, you made such a casually dismissive comment regarding the choice some people here have had to make, it really was quite rude. Many people end up in that situation out of necessity rather than overwhelming desire to mediate soft play disputes and sing French counting songs hmm.

LollyLaDrumstick Tue 07-May-13 19:01:34

How on earth did you come to that conclusion? SAHMs are excellent. My mum would have loved to have been one, and I'd love for either my DP or I to stay at home with my 'poor kid'.

That comment about french counting songs was in response to a hmm about me being in nursery at 4 weeks. As that poster poster said, my mum had to go back to work 'still bleeding', as she was a temp with no maternity rights and my dad flounced off when he realised that babies cry in the night sad

I just didn't want my DM to be thought of as someone who couldn't wait to get back to work. She wanted to take me to fucking soft play and sing frere jacques- but that's not how life panned out.

hazeyjane Tue 07-May-13 18:54:01

many families aren't in the position to have the luxury of a SAHM and days spent at soft play an singing French counting songs.

I think it was this comment that implies you don't think much of SAHM's.

LollyLaDrumstick Tue 07-May-13 18:53:25

If my 'poor kid' is ever born to an adoption bashing SAHM bashing, non-maternal and insensitive wanker like me- I know not to even discuss parenting styles on MN, as babies are very stressful (but lovely! smile) the last thing I want to do is get dragged into the SAH/W, attachment/non attachment, ect. bunfights, as these must only add to the stress ;)

I'm flouncing off to lurk on chat and s&b, but I honestly do want everyone who has been sincerely hurt that I am sorry for blunt comments and things that may have seemed off. This thread has been brilliant and helpful to me, and my friend who is 32 weeks and scanned it through too! smile

Wuldric Tue 07-May-13 18:52:53

There is a parental delusion, which goes like this:-

1. Everyone makes such a fuss about having children - it can't be THAT difficult or life changing.
2. It'll be easier when they're sleeping through the night
3. It'll be easier when they can walk
4. It'll be easier when they are out of nappies
5. It'll be easier when they are at school
6. It'll be easier when they can get around by themselves
7. It'll be easier when they motivate themselves to do their homework
8. It'll be easier when they develop some life skills
9. It'll be easier when they get through their exams
10. It'll be easier when they get over falling in love with unsuitable people
11. It'll be easier when they leave home

I've come to the conclusion now that it never gets any easier. But it is hugely rewarding if you fancy giving it a go.

bigbuttons Tue 07-May-13 18:51:02

God, it ever bothered me at all. I have clear memories of not just sharing the bathroom but having heads trying to get behind me and peer into the toilet bowl to see what was going on.
I must admit that pre dc's the very idea shocked me, but once it's happening with your own it's no biggie.

kotinka Tue 07-May-13 18:45:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LollyLaDrumstick Tue 07-May-13 18:44:47

AngelsWithSilverWings? Erm, how? I'm really confused.

LollyLaDrumstick Tue 07-May-13 18:44:10

It seems that I didn't use that exact phasing, but a statement that I in no way see adopting as the easy option and am not making a statement on adoption,*Lt*- (I love that grin) So to make amends to all offended a very sincere apology... X

AngelsWithSilverWings Tue 07-May-13 18:22:35

As an adoptive parent the thread title caused me mild irritation rather than offence but now I see that the OP is starting on SAHMs now too.

How lazy must I be? A SAHM to two really easy school age ready made children!

I do do one afternoon a week voluntary work so I hope I can be forgiven.

Kewcumber Tue 07-May-13 16:54:30

which one of your small handful of posts is meant to be an apology?!

I don't actually expect an apology because I think you're only sorry that your witty post got (very slightly) derailed and I suspect you think those who did take offence are being over sensitive.

In fact crass use of adoption as a "light hearted" comic device on the internet are a great deal less offensive than being bombarded by other mothers over a not so pleasant lunch with reasons why adoption is sooooo much easier than giving birth.

I publically object to this kind of glibness on the internet in the hope that it might prevent someone sharing their opinion with someone in real life.

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