To think that if not being able to go for a piss on your own is true then I'd rather just adopt a ready made one?

(218 Posts)
LollyLaDrumstick Mon 06-May-13 13:17:17

Always thought I wanted babies, but the stuff I see on here is absolutely bewildering.

Having to eat one handed every meal because you have a baby clinging onto you? Not being able to leave them alone for 5 minutes to have a shower? Getting interrupted when you're having a 30 second piss? Not even being able to go for a piss in the first place as they cry when you leave the room?

Is this true? Or is there a type of parent that seems to make out what an awful time they had in baby years so they are perceived as a superior parent?

My hard-hat is well and truly donned wink but please, do let me know the truth about this so I'm not taken by surprised in the future. It all seems a bit stressful!

LollyLaDrumstick Tue 07-May-13 18:53:25

If my 'poor kid' is ever born to an adoption bashing SAHM bashing, non-maternal and insensitive wanker like me- I know not to even discuss parenting styles on MN, as babies are very stressful (but lovely! smile) the last thing I want to do is get dragged into the SAH/W, attachment/non attachment, ect. bunfights, as these must only add to the stress ;)

I'm flouncing off to lurk on chat and s&b, but I honestly do want everyone who has been sincerely hurt that I am sorry for blunt comments and things that may have seemed off. This thread has been brilliant and helpful to me, and my friend who is 32 weeks and scanned it through too! smile

hazeyjane Tue 07-May-13 18:54:01

many families aren't in the position to have the luxury of a SAHM and days spent at soft play an singing French counting songs.

I think it was this comment that implies you don't think much of SAHM's.

LollyLaDrumstick Tue 07-May-13 19:01:34

How on earth did you come to that conclusion? SAHMs are excellent. My mum would have loved to have been one, and I'd love for either my DP or I to stay at home with my 'poor kid'.

That comment about french counting songs was in response to a hmm about me being in nursery at 4 weeks. As that poster poster said, my mum had to go back to work 'still bleeding', as she was a temp with no maternity rights and my dad flounced off when he realised that babies cry in the night sad

I just didn't want my DM to be thought of as someone who couldn't wait to get back to work. She wanted to take me to fucking soft play and sing frere jacques- but that's not how life panned out.

GreenEggsAndNichts Tue 07-May-13 19:02:28

I didn't make the sad face but if I had, it would have been for your mum, not for you, obviously. 4 weeks is tiny, but you'll see that if you have one.

My mum had to be back at work after 2 weeks. Fortunately she and my father worked alternate shifts so I didn't need to go to nursery that quickly. Also I believe they shared childcare duties with a family friend who had a son about my age.

The SAHM thing, well, you made such a casually dismissive comment regarding the choice some people here have had to make, it really was quite rude. Many people end up in that situation out of necessity rather than overwhelming desire to mediate soft play disputes and sing French counting songs hmm.

AngelsWithSilverWings Tue 07-May-13 19:02:34

Yes Hazey that was the comment that did it for me!

GreenEggsAndNichts Tue 07-May-13 19:02:48

nvm, cross-posted. smile

JesusInTheCabbageVan Tue 07-May-13 19:09:24

Wuldric I'm still on 2. Things.... things do get easier when they sleep through, right? <Pleading face>

thecatfromjapan Tue 07-May-13 19:11:04

Hello Hazey smile. Haven't seen you for far, far too long!

Are you around on mn these days? Where? Are you on Facebook?

I think I should p.m. you these questions.

And <squeeze> to Everlong.

You know, it's the smuggery and crypto-mother-despising I find so very un-delightful in the opening post. Personally, I think that is so endemic in our culture it is quite possible that the original poster is unaware of it.

thecatfromjapan Tue 07-May-13 19:13:01

Actually, I've re-read the OP. It really is amazingly dismissive of women on mn; of women who are mothers; of the discourse of mothers.

Really rather piggish.

bigbuttons Tue 07-May-13 20:34:46

It is actually an incredibly immature op

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Tue 07-May-13 20:59:46

Ohh lighten up guys......

I read the OP as being lighthearted

Kewcumber Tue 07-May-13 23:32:42

helpful comment iiiiii.

You thought it was light-hearted so we stuffy people must lighten up. hmm No-one is entitled to feel a bit irritated by the ridiculous title because you're not.

piratedinosaursgogogo Tue 07-May-13 23:47:24

As another adoptive parent, I did find the thread title bothered me but I don't think that any offence was intended. I agree with Kew further upthread that if reading this makes people with birth children think a little bit more about 'light-hearted ready-made baby jokes', it won't have been a bad thing.

ItsallisnowaFeegle Wed 08-May-13 00:16:29

I am living all of that shit in the OP right now, but, it's not going to last forever and I wouldn't change the stinking funk, cold meals, not being able to leave the room chaos for anything! wink

ItsallisnowaFeegle Wed 08-May-13 00:20:21

Oh shite...the whole thread's moved on. Meh! As you were.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Wed 08-May-13 00:24:00

TheOP has apologised for the title, her OP was meant lightheartedly. I don't see why posters are still attacking the posts....

...and I am very familiar with adoptions wink not that it makes any difference

bigbuttons Wed 08-May-13 07:21:02

It was ill judged, as were a lot of her silly comments afterwards. Hopefully she'll know better in the future when she's actually mature enough to have a family.

LadyBigtoes Wed 08-May-13 10:26:20

OP you just come across as having a bit of a sharp tongue and sarcastic way with words. Nothing wrong with that IMO. But you may find you upset people (I've toned it down a lot myself as I can offend without meaning to). I took your SAHM/french song remarks as they were meant but I know SAHMs who would think you were getting at them.

I actually think your cynical attitude will stand you in pretty good stead as a parent. I mean that!

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