To think this IS babysitting rather than parenting?

(57 Posts)
LittleLisa78 Mon 06-May-13 12:48:21

DP looked after our 11 month old DD at the weekend; I had loads of work to do and as he had the weekend off he said he'd have DD so I could get my work done. On Saturday I got her breakfast, dressed, fed her, played with her, changed her nappy etc. he took her for a walk when she was tired at 11. She had a nap and when she woke at 2 he bought her back and I changed, fed her etc. they stayed for another hour then he went walking again til 6. Yesterday he took her out again twice for several hours but I still did all the feeding, changing etc. AIBU to think that walking with her all day and pretty much boring her to sleep is more like babysitting than parenting? He does say the classic ' I'm glad I could help you' and he's going out to play golf on his next day off to relax as he didn't get to these days off apparently. If I had someone to get baby fed, changed, ready, look after her while I'm in shower, while I eat etc I'd feel very relaxed! He doesn't see it. AIBU?

McKayz Mon 06-May-13 14:46:38

Xiao has it exactly right.

DD is 10 months and breastfed. I'm a SAHM and DH works away for 2 months at a time. He would be very happy and very capable of looking after DD for a day. She won't take BM or formula from a cup or bottle. But she'd still survive a day.

Xiaoxiong Mon 06-May-13 14:48:23

Yes I agree that YAbothBU. If your DH was a first time dad worried about doing something wrong with his PFB I could somewhat forgive his useless flapping and feigned helplessness as inexperience leading to a lack of confidence. But you have FIVE kids!

The only thing standing between him continuing to be a cocklodger in his own family and actually having to be a real parent is you standing up for yourself.

MortifiedAdams Mon 06-May-13 15:28:28

So youve had four kids with an equal parent and suddenly on no.5 he is Mr Useless?

Or is this your first child.together and possibly the reason he is.not with the mother of his.previous kids?

phantomnamechanger Mon 06-May-13 15:42:19

he's behaving like this because you are letting him, OP, it's that simple.

PeazlyPops Mon 06-May-13 15:51:58

With men you have to demand. If you expect you will be left disappointed.

This isn't true at all! Men are just as capable.

Want2bSupermum Wed 08-May-13 02:57:10

Peazly Exactly.... Men are just as capable but my DH, brother, FIL and DF will all take the route of least work knowing women will step in and do it for them. Leave them to it and don't rescue them and they all step up and figure it out.

If the OP's OH isn't doing stuff he needs practice. Leave him to it to figure it out and settle with his own way of doing things.

LittleMissLucy Wed 08-May-13 03:00:02

This is the 5th child between you?
Wow. firstly congratulations.
Secondly, he defers to your authority in all matters child.
I think you're onto a a major winner there.
Bask in it.

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