This Isn't My Thread. It's Title Is Too Long.

(186 Posts)
TiggyD Sun 05-May-13 18:58:11

How many fucking books are there? I had to read "That's not my truck" last week. "That's not my truck. It's sides are to ridgey". WTF! £5.99 for 5 pictures of things with fun fur or something on them? They're taking the piss! "That's not my hamster". Seriously! Where's the plot?!

Coming soon:

That's not my poo. It's sides are too glittery.
That's not my poo. It's top is too floaty.
That's my poo. It's tail end is so sweetcorny!

£5.99. angry

Iteotwawki Sun 12-May-13 06:07:40

What really bugged me about those books (aside from endless repetitions of the same stuff) was the Monkey Mistake! Somewhere towards the end .. "That's not my monkey" - no, because it's an orangutan. Which is an ape. Really think whoever designed and checked that one got it badly wrong.

Aside from that I love Usborne books smile

mikkii Sat 11-May-13 08:46:49

We have 14, including two in Spanish.

NoWayPedro Fri 10-May-13 20:15:45

Oops, not sure what happened there

NoWayPedro Fri 10-May-13 20:15:22

(bump)

That's not my chilli, here's some advice
That's not my chilli, where's all the spice
That's not my chilli, scotch bonnets? think twice
That's not my chilli, don't serve with brown rice

That's my chilli,I know it tastes naiiiiice grin

NoWayPedro Fri 10-May-13 20:14:57

(bump)

That's not my chilli, here's some advice
That's not my chilli, where's all the spice
That's not my chilli, scotch bonnets? think twice
That's not my chilli, don't serve with brown rice

That's my chilli,I know it tastes naiiiiice grin

IrritatingInfinity Fri 10-May-13 19:28:56

This is a brilliant thread with a brilliant title

grin @ TiggyD's description of Fiona.

whendotheyleavehome Fri 10-May-13 18:06:25

Have you seen the spoof videos for 'that's not my toddler' and 'that's not my mummy' at www.helpfulhumour.com defo worth a look!

TiggyD Fri 10-May-13 16:48:07

She was sensible. She's probably gone totally off the rails now and spends all her time in a dress made of money, looking for things that aren't other things and things that are things but are similar to the things which were not things.

Anyway, this thread has made the roundup this week so everybody look busy.

LadyBigtoes Fri 10-May-13 13:53:59

I used to work with Fiona! Many moons ago. She was (/is) extremely sensible. If it helps, I actually doubt she's a squillionaire as people working there wrote books while working for a salary, rather than royalties - though they may have come to some kind of agreement I suppose.

enormouse Fri 10-May-13 13:51:51

Toadinthehole that's fantastic. I must add that the next time I have to read that's not my sodding hamster.

beaverhq Fri 10-May-13 13:45:35

I laughed so hard reading this thread a little bit of wee came out.

ginnybag Wed 08-May-13 12:16:10

I have no idea if anyone has said this yet, because I don't have time to read the whole thread (sorry!) but Terry Pratchett has a take on these that is hilarious.

Where's my Cow - as read by Sam Vimes.

It is now my DD's favourite bedtime story.

I refuse to own any of the orginals

That's not my hamster. Freddy Starr ate it.

That's not my home-made pasta: the machine is gummed up.
That's not my home-made pasta: it's all stuck together.
That's not my home-made pasta: it's gone all zig-zaggy.
That's my home made pasta: I'm sticking the empty packet in the bin

That's no DP, his stomach is too wobbly
That's not DP, his hair's too short
That's not DP, that's Terry Wogan.
That's DP. I can hear him snoring from the garage.

ToysRLuv Wed 08-May-13 06:35:12

Oh, got into a bit of an automatic mode with the writing. Excuse lack of apostrophes.

ToysRLuv Wed 08-May-13 06:32:34

That's not my sanitary towel, its wings are too long.
That's not my sanitary towel, its surface is soo plasticky.
That's not my sanitary towel, its nowhere wide enough.
That's not my sanitary towel, its already managed to glue itself to itself.
That's my sanitary towel, its miles away at home.

(At my parents' house which houses ancient supplies from years ago when DM still had her periods hmm )

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Wed 08-May-13 06:23:43

That's not my alarm, it's going off too early.
That's not my alarm, it's too loud.
That's not my alarm, my alarm has a snooze.

No, wait, that is my alarm, Oh shit, now I'm late!

HandbagCrab Tue 07-May-13 22:55:55

That's not my dh. His body is too smooth.
That's not my dh. His teeth are too shiny.
That's not my dh. His bum is too bumpy.
That's not my dh. His tummy is too squishy
That's my dh! His ears are so fluffy!

apostropheuse Tue 07-May-13 22:49:16

We have an abundance of those bloody books in the house. For reasons I will never fathom the children love them!

This thread is hilarious. grin

That's not my arse. It's not large enough.
That's not my arse. It's not low enough.
That's not my arse. It's not round enough.
That's my arse. It's all flabby and squidgy!

Yamyoid Tue 07-May-13 22:38:32

That's not my weather forecast, it's too rainy
No really, tell me that's not my weather forecast
That can't be my weather forecast, it's windy and cold
That is my weather forecast, it's really rainy and windy and cold
sad

Yamyoid Tue 07-May-13 22:32:02

Brilliant grin

Pigsmummy Tue 07-May-13 21:24:35

But it's not my rabbit, I have a mad cat

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Tue 07-May-13 21:21:19

That's not my fridge, it's contents are too healthy.
That's not by fridge, everything is in date.
That's not my fridge, it is too full.

That's my fridge, it smells and is full of junk.

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