This Isn't My Thread. It's Title Is Too Long.

(186 Posts)
TiggyD Sun 05-May-13 18:58:11

How many fucking books are there? I had to read "That's not my truck" last week. "That's not my truck. It's sides are to ridgey". WTF! £5.99 for 5 pictures of things with fun fur or something on them? They're taking the piss! "That's not my hamster". Seriously! Where's the plot?!

Coming soon:

That's not my poo. It's sides are too glittery.
That's not my poo. It's top is too floaty.
That's my poo. It's tail end is so sweetcorny!

£5.99. angry

AnaisB Sun 05-May-13 20:19:27

I can't believe there's a separate author and illustrator - what does fiona actually contribute now? maybe she' patented the concept. I wonder if she has written anything else or if she just does a new one every few months. she only has to change 10 words each time.

AnaisB Sun 05-May-13 20:22:38

that's not my book it's words are too different

maddening Sun 05-May-13 20:23:10

I picked some up from the charity shop and the library had a sell off of books - it doesn't feel so bad when they cost 10p each.

Inertia Sun 05-May-13 20:26:17

That's not my shopping list - the wine is inadequate.
That's not my shopping list - the fruitshoots are too sugary.
That's not my shopping list - the pombears are too puffy.

That's my shopping list ! The ham is so naice!

Magna Sun 05-May-13 20:26:31

grin

Fuzz your phone charger one sounds like my house

Badvoc Sun 05-May-13 20:28:18

Raspberry and tethers smile

loopyluna Sun 05-May-13 20:28:50

DD loved them so much we had English and French ones! The French translation seemed to miss the point and were so unbearable I had to re-translate them blush

How about:

That's not my car, it's exterior is too shiney.
That's not my car, it's seats are too clean.
That's not my car, it has no smelly banana skins in the back.
That's my car, it's sooo messy.

catgirl1976 Sun 05-May-13 20:34:15

That's not my toddler. Its face is too clean
That's not my toddler. Its tantrums are too quiet
That's not my toddler. Its eating its vegetables
That's my toddler - its refusing to sleep

We got a box selection of eight books. 'Thats not my aeroplane' is the worst, DS loved it. 'That's not my kitten' still gives me nightmares. <rocks in corner, sobbing> he's now too old for them thankfully but we are hoping to have another child (if we are lucky and can) and I'm not sure I could cope with another lot of reading and saying 'That's not my elephant!' Or whatever.

ToysRLuv Sun 05-May-13 20:37:45

That's not my house its living room is big.
That's not my house its office is so tidy.
That's not my house its got lovely wooden floors.
THAT'S my house its shed is falling down.

That's not my food, it's got peas in.
That's not my food, it's got meat in.
That's not my food, they're all touching.
THAT'S my food, it's pasta and only pasta.

[sobs]

ChasedByBees Sun 05-May-13 20:39:49

We've got the mermaid one.

'That's not my mermaid, her mirror is too shiny'

It would be possible to bloody well swap mirrors, it wouldn't be rocket science. And who owns mermaids anyway? Is this some kind of weird aquatic slave trade?

ToysRLuv Sun 05-May-13 20:41:55

Y y to herring. <despairs>

That's not my supermarket trip, it all went smoothly.
That's not my supermarket trip, no tantrums occurred.
That's not my supermarket trip, nothing got knocked over.
That's not my supermarket trip, there is no screaming child.
That's my supermarket trip, the trolley is filled with wine.

honeytea Sun 05-May-13 20:42:38

We have that's not my lamb, one of the lambs the one who's spots are too fluffy is clearly a calf. I may write and complain.

ToysRLuv Sun 05-May-13 20:44:01

The trippiest one was that's not my polar bear. They all looked pretty much identical. Also, not an animal well suited to being a pet.

Raspberrysorbet Sun 05-May-13 20:44:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoWayPedro Sun 05-May-13 20:44:54

I'm beginning to wonder about this Fiona character:

Those are not my cigarettes, as mine smell a bit funny grin

That's not my mummy, she's smiling.
That's not my mummy, she isn't stressed.
That's not my mummy, she's fit and attractive.
That's not my mummy, she's only the person who gave birth to me.
THAT'S my mummy, she's a complete stranger and aged 14.

Sorry, to the teen stranger DS called mummy all the way up the high street.

ToysRLuv Sun 05-May-13 20:48:35

Dh also always used to point out that using accessories (bumpy hair comb, or whatever) is not a very reliable way of recognising someone (e.g. a mermaid), as they can be removed/swapped etc.

Loving these. We have a few 12 and rather than reject them at bed time for being too short ds2 asks for two. Half of them were dd's so it's been 9 years of the same bloody books.

I thinks all yours are fantastic! grin

That's not my school gate mum, her hair is too coiffed.
That's not my school gate mum, her clothes are too trendy.
That's not my school gate mum, her face is too made up.
That's my school gate mum, looking a slob and keeping her distance.

KingRollo Sun 05-May-13 20:51:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honeytea Sun 05-May-13 20:56:20

That's not my nappy bag, it has spare nappies in it.
That's not my nappy bag, it has an entire spare outfit in it.
That's not my nappy bag, it has emergancy calpol in it.
That's not my nappy bag, it matches the pram so nicely.

That's my nappy bag, it has a vest 2 sizes too small, no nappies and an empty pack of baby wipes in it.

Raspberrysorbet Sun 05-May-13 20:57:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Raspberrysorbet Sun 05-May-13 20:57:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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