This Isn't My Thread. It's Title Is Too Long.

(186 Posts)
TiggyD Sun 05-May-13 18:58:11

How many fucking books are there? I had to read "That's not my truck" last week. "That's not my truck. It's sides are to ridgey". WTF! £5.99 for 5 pictures of things with fun fur or something on them? They're taking the piss! "That's not my hamster". Seriously! Where's the plot?!

Coming soon:

That's not my poo. It's sides are too glittery.
That's not my poo. It's top is too floaty.
That's my poo. It's tail end is so sweetcorny!

£5.99. angry

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sun 05-May-13 18:59:17

grin

Hassled Sun 05-May-13 19:00:59

grin

The only thing wrong with your veritable £5.99's worth of literary genius is the flotilla of rogue apostrophes.

<runs for the hills>

catgirl1976 Sun 05-May-13 19:01:33

I was wondering who wrote those and how much they got paid for each one grin

I reckon I could knock one out every day. You'd be rolling in it

That's not my arse. It's cheeks are too flabby
That's not my arse. It's back it too hairy

etc.............

catgirl1976 Sun 05-May-13 19:02:19

I've done the same thing blush

Raspberrysorbet Sun 05-May-13 19:03:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HoobleDooble Sun 05-May-13 19:03:10

That's not my arse. Its cheeks are too spotty.

Ooh I could a whole series of these!

HoobleDooble Sun 05-May-13 19:03:43

X post with Catgirl!

catgirl1976 Sun 05-May-13 19:05:08

Funny how we both thought about arses grin

I was going for 'That's not my Yoni...' but then I thought of the children and stopped myself grin

I have at least 5 10 of these. I imagine the author bathing in champagne and drying off with tenners.

HoneyDragon Sun 05-May-13 19:06:11

That's not my judgey pants
The gussets too righteous
That's not my judgey pants
The seams are too sneery
That's not my judgey pants
They've got no grips
Thats MY judgey pants
The elastic is so Hoicky.

<<shoots mouse with shot gun>>

Fin.

Raspberrysorbet Sun 05-May-13 19:08:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tethersend Sun 05-May-13 19:09:00

That's not my mummy. Her hair is too shiny.
That's not my mummy. Her tummy is too small.
That's not my mummy. Her eyes are too bright.
That's my mummy. She's rocking in the corner, muttering to herself.

HoneyDragon Sun 05-May-13 19:09:28

Oh arse fuck! That's really going to get on my fucking tits now. Bugger.

grin tethers

Raspberrysorbet Sun 05-May-13 19:11:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiggyD Sun 05-May-13 19:11:58

Whoever writes them must be a billionaire by now. Sitting in his chair that's so goldy in his castle that's so turrety with his wife that's so silliconey with his face so smugy.

KatyMac Sun 05-May-13 19:12:24

Do you realise there is now "That's not my Meercat" and yes I have a copy

HoobleDooble Sun 05-May-13 19:12:35

Oddly enough, catgirl I was going to say 'fanny'!

That's not my toddler, it is sitting nicely.
That's not my toddler, it is sleeping past 6am.
That's not my toddler, it is clean.
That's not my toddler, it is quiet.
That's my toddler, she is perfect in every way screaming whilst running around waving a stick at terrified passers by.

NoWayPedro Sun 05-May-13 19:14:59

That's not my dinosaur - I know, they're frigging extinct and no-one has pet dinosaurs these days anyway grin

I like these far more than the dinosaur one I've read 42 times today grin

APipkinOfPepper Sun 05-May-13 19:18:16

I bought this as a joke present for DH - DS found it and it is now his favourite blush
OMG that's not my child

UnChartered Sun 05-May-13 19:18:32

that's not my face, it's far too wrinkly
that's not my face, it's hairy round the chin
that's not my face, it's at least 20 10 years older than the last time i looked

but that's my wine grin

HoneyDragon Sun 05-May-13 19:18:40

They are all written by Fiona Watts. Who has a sensible brown bob and does not come across as someone who deserves harm. Till you discover what she does. Then you have to refrain from punching her. Hard.

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