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to wonder why everyone is a sex offender....

(124 Posts)
gabbymum Sat 04-May-13 19:24:56

Every day in the papers there seems to be a new one. Most of them seem to relate to events that happened years ago. What is going on?

phantomnamechanger Sat 04-May-13 19:28:42

what is going on is that these things are finally being listened to and taken seriously

WhatKindofFool Sat 04-May-13 20:17:05

It is sickening how many of them there are. The world seems to be full of them. Sadly, I met a few when I was a child.

gabbymum Sat 04-May-13 20:22:19

It's just been on the news about a Tory MP arrested for rape and sex assault. I'm very shocked at the sheer volume of these occurances at the moment.

AuntieStella Sat 04-May-13 20:26:33

The arrest of Nigel Evans MP is not based on investigation of historic allegations. The offences were in the last 4 years and concern men in their 20s.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Sat 04-May-13 20:56:05

There has been a sea-change in the way rape and sexual assault is viewed. Traditionally, women were automatically disbelieved and had to go to lengths to prove themselves, and almost inevitably failed to do this. Women were also seen as 'asking for it' by dress and action and so were to blame for their own assault.

Now, there is a far better understading that one's body is one's own and other people are not allowed to use it without its owner's consent. That women can do and wear what they like and this still doesn't give other people any particular rights or entitlements over their bodies. That consent can be withdrawn at any point and that once it is withdrawn, that is rape.

So, women who were raped and/or sexually assaulted in the past and who didn't do anything about it due to the prevailing views at the time are finally able to try to seek some justice. These will be women who have lived with what happened to them for many years in some cases, unable to deal with it and properly put it in the past, and who may have blamed themselves for what happened.

SoleSource Sat 04-May-13 21:19:14

Stuart Hall! sad;(sad

Poor kids

HollyBerryBush Sat 04-May-13 21:48:17

Times change, laws change, acceptance of behaviour changes.

HollyBerryBush Sat 04-May-13 21:49:50

to wonder why everyone is a sex offender?

Although your title does make me ask - who have you sexually offended lately?

Because I haven't been convicted of a sex crime.

LastMangoInParis Sat 04-May-13 21:53:14

what is going on is that these things are finally being listened to and taken seriously

Exactly.

The effect of that seems to have blown reality right apart for a lot of people who were lucky enough not to have been sexually assaulted when they were very young.

Scruffey Sat 04-May-13 22:03:48

People didn't report as they did not think they would be believed in many cases. This is changing now.

Types of assault like groping were so common that people just thought of the perpetrators as dirty old men rather than abusers so again didn't report.

I hope that all these abusers are quaking in their boots now waiting for their victims to report them.

b4bunnies Sat 04-May-13 22:07:08

Times change, laws change, acceptance of behaviour changes.
this is true but young women today don't want to believe it.

in case of 'real' abusers, those who went out of their way to find children and vulnerable people - by all means prosecute, no longer how long ago the offence.

i've been thinking a lot about a childhood friend, over the last few days. we went our separate ways after primary school. in our secondary school years, her mum used to take her to events where minor celebrities such as stuart hall would be present. i know that some made a lot of fuss of her. maybe the abuse she suffered wasn't restricted to her adult experiences. but the girl and her mother were both 'asking' for it. begging for the attention, in fact. the mother took her back again and again.

Kleptronic Sat 04-May-13 22:13:35

b4bunnies what are you trying to say exactly?

LastMangoInParis Sat 04-May-13 22:14:02

the girl and her mother were both 'asking' for it.

No, b4bunnies, they were not 'asking for it'. Being needy, wanting attention, having a naïve belief in people's trustworthiness, being star struck... None of these things are 'asking for it'.

HollyBerryBush Sat 04-May-13 22:17:23

acceptance of behaviour changes

I certainly wouldn't put up with some behaviour today, I experienced as a teenage girl. In saying that, I am able to put that experience firmly back in the 1980's and not dwell upon it.

nooka Sat 04-May-13 22:19:36

And that's just the sort of attitude that meant sexual offenses were brushed under the carpet in the past. Just like the 'she made me do it' line that used to be a common defense for domestic abuse.

b4bunnies Sat 04-May-13 22:19:48

No, b4bunnies, they were not 'asking for it'. Being needy, wanting attention, having a naïve belief in people's trustworthiness, being star struck... None of these things are 'asking for it'.
yes, they were. maybe not abuse, but sexual contact was part of their plan.

LastMangoInParis Sat 04-May-13 22:21:59

The 'times change' assumption worries me a bit, actually.
It seems to be a way of assuming that 'these things just don't happen anymore'. Similar to the way that people used to assume that 'these things don't happen to people we know'.
It seems like a way for people to persuade themselves that everything's fine now, no need to worry, yada, yada...
Very similar to how people thought in the 70s and 80s, in fact. Especially around the naice, 'respectable' men who were assaulting these young people.

nooka Sat 04-May-13 22:22:36

If we are talking about a school child, then so what? A child/teen can 'ask' all they like, but that doesn't mean it is in any way shape or mean acceptable for an adult to take advantage of them.

Even if someone throws themselves at you you are not obliged to have sex/sexual contact with them regardless of your minor celebrity status.

LastMangoInParis Sat 04-May-13 22:24:00

sexual contact was part of their plan.

Part of a child's 'plan'?

I think you might have got that wrong, b4bunnies.
In fact, I know you've got that very badly wrong.

JennyMackerz Sat 04-May-13 22:25:42

NYANBU

I was thinking this recently. I want, need to believe that these things are rare, that men who feel entitled to sexually assault and or rape your girls are rare and nwo I don't know confused sad

SpanishFly Sat 04-May-13 22:28:59

b4bunnies how the actual fuck would you know what was their plan?

What a ridiculous and insulting and vile thing to say - they were needy and wanted attention therefore the child asked to be sexually abused??

Kleptronic Sat 04-May-13 22:29:18

b4bunnies ah I see, that's what you meant. Well I disagree with what you said. Children cannot consent to sex. You have put forward one of the 'arguments' paedophiles use to justify their crimes. Well done you.

MonkeyingAroundTown Sat 04-May-13 22:29:57

I am with you gabby. I am astounded by all these celebs who are coming out of the woodwork.

Is it something that was "no big deal" back then. Is that why so many were doing it?

I don't know about anyone else but I find myself wondering who else, who used to do childrens shows, (ones which I used to watch growing up) is going to be next to be accused of sexual harassment.

Why is it all men too?

b4bunnies Sat 04-May-13 22:58:32

it was about attitude to women. men's attitudes, and women's attitudes. women planning to 'catch' men by using sex. men thinking that if it was offered they could take it.

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