to think being blonde, tall and slim doesn't automatically mean you are beautiful?

(115 Posts)
oharna Sat 04-May-13 15:34:50

(Not saying that anyone who is any of those things is in any way ugly btw)

However I was reading the "do you think you're pretty thread" and quite a few responses were along the lines of "yes because...."

"I am tall and slim" or "I had waist length blonde hair"

I don't think any of these things automatically mean you are beautiful.

Marcia Cross is a redhead. Melissa McCarthy isn't slim. Mila Kunis is only 5ft4. All these women are beautiful (imo) and despite some not being tall, blonde or slim.

CornflowerB Sun 05-May-13 01:05:45

As the brunette mother of a very blonde daughter I can confirm that blondes attract a huge amount of attention and admiration that a brunette would never ever get. It must affect your perception of yourself as a blonde. 'Oh my god she' s so blonde! Oh look at her hair! Oh she's gorgeous! oh you'd want to be careful someone will steal her confused etc etc'

squoosh Sun 05-May-13 01:08:20

Yes but very few people grow up having retained their flaxen childhood locks.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Sun 05-May-13 03:37:39

Everyone says I look like one of the women mentioned as beautiful on this thread! Well, really people say I look like her gone a bit wrong, like she had been slightly melted or something. I'm this close to beautiful i.e funny looking.

Punkatheart Sun 05-May-13 18:55:17

You are a melted beauty, Orange?

Now I am thinking about cheese on toast, or chocolate fondue. Yum.

Guess the slim thing will go out of the window. Oh well.

mrsjay Mon 06-May-13 10:11:03

*There's one particular poster who always comes on with a link to her profile, saying she's never been confident about her looks and she's stunning.
I think some just come on to fish for compliments.*

I think you are probably right

Punkatheart Mon 06-May-13 11:56:14

I have lost the ability to assess myself, really.

But not fishing for compliments, because you can't see me.

On the Internet - we are ALL beautiful.

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:02:23

to me 'pretty' is regular symmetrical features. It's also a sort of compliance with the notion of making the most of yourself. You might not want to. You might have the equipment to be pretty but not choose that.

I know what you mean OP though. I used to work with a girl who was 6', had long blond hair, and she loved herself. Which was nice for her. SHe was genuinely confused, baffled, nearly sulking in fact, when I got some attention. She took it as a personal insult that somebody might like a shorter woman with brown hair. ANd it's not like we were in competition with each other. Well i wasn't in competition with HER, but she entered us both into the competition I think!! poor sad case that girl.

none of us is obliged to be pretty though. I say to my daughter, you're not obliged to be pretty you know . As she's carefully choosinng what colour nail varnish to wear on monday hmm

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:04:38

oh god, that roald dahl quote from the twits!

that's why i need botox. my kdis have driven me to botox. it's their fault.

My opinion is fuck modesty, I often wonder what more I could of achieved if I hadn't have had such poor self esteem, linked to appearance bullying during my teens. I was and still am beautiful, I am not saying that physical appearance is the most important thing, but it is were all advertising hits us, whilst we are growing up. I have teen DD's and they have a lot of friends round my house, I do my best to constantly boost their self esteem and teach them to be kind to other females. This is one area that feminism has got absolutely right. I wish every teen girl could see how they really look. Living in our society we are never going to completely remove putting importance on how we look. Western society always put a racist twist on "beauty". We should big up what is good about ourselves, you can do that without putting others down. There is nothing worst than self depreciation and negativity. Women's bodies change. I can remember being asked by a man, if I was disappointed in my ageing body, as if I should be. Well, no, its served me well, my purpose has never been purely ornamental, as much as I have often looked "stunning".

carabos Mon 06-May-13 12:25:39

Birds you are right about the beautiful teens. I remember my GM taking a photograph of me dressed for a night out/ party when I was about 14. She told me she was doing it because "you will never be as beautiful as you are now".

That boost to self esteem for a skinny, pale brunette with a blonde best friend was priceless. From that day forward to today aged 50 I have believed I am pretty - not world beating, but what I call "ordinary pretty" in the way that the vast majority of women are.

We live in a world where looks matter - really matter so it's crucial that we big up ourselves, our friends, our daughters to recognise all of their gifts and properly see their own beauty - blonde, dark, ginger, sky blue pink, whatever - all of us have something that makes us beautiful, even against conventional standards.

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:28:08

Same here, another with poor self-esteem. But PART (and only part) of that comes, but very definitely does come, from having freckles, curly hair, being short, not being blonde. I think the tall blondes are getting messages from society that they internalise, and it's maybenot cockiness so much as that their self esteems haven't been damaged my society. That tall blonde but very plain girl I mentioned a few posts back, I didn't resent that believed she was beautiful, I think I actually was/am jealous that she emerged trhough childhood and young adult without any negative messages about her bodytype and hair colour to internalise. I (and millions of others on the otherhand) got a daily diet of negative messages to internalise.

pastmybbd Mon 06-May-13 12:34:59

When I was young I was tall, blonde and slim, but beautiful?? Er, don't think so. I wasn't ugly either though. Just average.

Being tall must have made me quite threatening to men as I NEVER got chatted up. I even had to approach DH and make the first move. IME men are sometimes intimidated by tall women. Although I am also quite feisty, so perhaps that didn't make me attractive.

I would have loved my girl to be shorter as I think it's something that works much better for women. There seems to be a biological imperative for men to protect women. The more Amazonian we appear, the less men respond. My daughter, however, is so comfy in her own skin and I think that will make her more attractive than I ever was.

HotCrossPun Mon 06-May-13 12:44:06

The last person who I looked at and I thought - you look lovely, was the woman who won the Great British Sewing Bee. She had great style, looked graceful and elegant and I has awesome hair.

I don't think there is a format for beauty, so YANBU grin

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:46:54

I wish! ARgh. I'm short. And single. I have had all the children i'm every having thank you but I think men who are short of tall themselves don't want to have children with short women. So, I'd say men who are comfortably tall don't care, but shorter men want women nearly their own height. So if you're 5'5-5'6 you're laughing I think. shorter or taller, it could be factor. Not always of course, but just coud be

Wannabestepfordwife Mon 06-May-13 12:55:44

Yanbu all dp's exs are tall blonde and slim one was a trog but the rest were stunning.

I'm still surprised he ended up with me a 5ft2 curvy redhead (was a natural blonde) I will never know.

If I could look like anyone I think it would have to be Natalie wood

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