to be slightly shocked when my MIL advised adding juice to my 3mo's water so he'll drink it?

(127 Posts)
poppyandthelion Fri 03-May-13 23:27:58

Hi, this is my first post!

I see my MIL every 3-4 weeks for an hour or 2 with my DS. This week at the visit I mentioned I have been trying to give him water but he's not really been interested. Her advice was to add juice to it..! He's 3 months old!

Also on a visit about a month ago she said that it wouldn't be long until I could give him rusks and prob from about 3 months. I said I'd be trying to not wean him until 6 months if I can but she thought that was silly and he could go much sooner.

These are not my main concerns as he's my DS and I'll be the one feeding him etc. For now.

When I go back to work we will have to have MIL looking after him 1 day a week and I'm slightly concerned as to what she'll feed him or give him to drink even with my instruction. My DP says he's turned out fine and all GM's spoil there GKs.

AIBU??

mathanxiety Sat 04-May-13 06:52:56

Get someone else to do the CMing. You are setting yourself up for serious family grief to involve your MIL and your DH's comment is an illustration of just what you will be up against. There is no such thing as free when it comes to baby care. You will pay no matter what, and all you get to choose is what form your payment will take.

The advice given to mothers of your MIL's generation was very different from what is now advised for baby nutrition. Plus, being out of the baby care racket for a good many years, your MIL has probably forgotten loads of sensible things.

A normal 3 mo does not need water.

Over the course of the years my first three DCs were born bfeeding guidelines changed from 3 months to at least a year for optimal benefit. My exMIL fed her children orange juice and formula prepared from evaporated milk, sugar and water from day one. That was baby feeding advice at the time (1950s and 60s). I have an American cookbook published in 1976 that has a section on feeding infants and 'invalids' at the back -- same sort of advice.

Restorer Sat 04-May-13 06:53:09

That's what my hv told me to do, so i really don't think your mil can be considered that odd. However, if you're going to be that easily annoyed by what your mil does with your dc, you need to seriously reconsider your childcare armaments. Your dh is right

Flisspaps Sat 04-May-13 06:56:51

50 why do you think you can't give marzipan to an under 1?

ivanapoo Sat 04-May-13 06:58:16

Also wondering why you want to give your baby water at this age...

But, assuming there's a valid reason eg constipation, a little juice (eg teaspoonful in a whole bottle of water) won't do any harm.

Ask you HV or GP for a leaflet on weaning you can give to her. Weaning early can upset a baby's digestion.

ApocalypseThen Sat 04-May-13 07:01:50

I think you should find someone else. You're going to be a nightmare for your mother in law, and she doesn't need it.

HollyBerryBush Sat 04-May-13 07:06:15

I do wish people would remember that advice and guidelines are just that, not the law.

Weaning advice changed with each of my children, I followed the pattern laid down for the eldest, that was what I was used to.

Scientists and universities get paid to come up with studies. Mothers instinct is usually best.

CecilyP Sat 04-May-13 07:06:58

I've been told to give ds water if he's not pood and if it didn't help to put a spoonful of OJ into a 4oz bottle of water. (just for those asking about giving 3m water)

Who told you this, Kafri?

bigkidsdidit Sat 04-May-13 07:09:11

my GP told me the same, a spoonful of orange juice into water for constipation, when Ds was 4 months ish. I think this is old fashioned now but certainly used to be standard advice.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sat 04-May-13 07:18:56

I gave my DS small amounts of water when he was constipated. The HV told me to put orange juice in it but I refused.

Why are you giving a 3 month old water (unless like i said they're constipated)? They don't need it, they get everything from milk, and if bf they don't need extra water at all.

It's fair enough if you don't want your mil giving your DS juice, he's your baby. And to be honest it's not going to be good for his teeth. Juice in a bottle isn't recommended.

Tell her you don't want him to have juice or rusks and you'll be following the current guidelines of weaning at six months. Things change.

CecilyP Sat 04-May-13 07:37:19

You don't actually have to give a 3 month old water, as they will be getting enough in milk.

As the popple says, giving anything other than milk or water in a bottle is not recommended because it can cause tooth decay (not boils!). If you add sugar-free juice, then you are giving them the chemicals needed to make that juice palatable. While your DH has grown up fine, I wonder what his teeth were like as a little boy.

Whether there is a problem depends on 2 things - the first, whether your MIL will listen to current guidelines - or just scoff at them, and the second is when you are actually going back to work. If it is after he is 6 months, then he may well have started on solids and could have some very dilute juice in a cup.

mathanxiety Sat 04-May-13 07:37:40

Marzipan contains almonds Flisspaps. Babies shouldn't be given nuts until after 1 year as nuts can provoke allergic reactions.

No honey either until after 1 year. Honey can cause infant botulism.

And no alcohol.

wigglesrock Sat 04-May-13 07:40:57

I wouldn't be shocked as others have said its her idea of how she might do things. Will it even be an issue? How old will your baby be when you go back to work?

My parents in law minded my children 2 or 3 mornings a week when I went back to work (dd1 was 5 months when I went back) I'm sure they did lots of things that I maybe wouldn't of but it worked out really well. They had so much time for her, they played jigsaw for hours, I know I wouldn't be doing that. They read, they took her out for the day, she had lots of lovely time just being told how much she was loved smile. If you use grandparents for childcare there are disadvantages but for us the advantages were huge.

2rebecca Sat 04-May-13 07:45:50

There is increasing evidence that small amounts of nuts in the diet after 6 months reduces nut allergies because the bodies immune system tolerates it better.
At 3 months I'd stick to breast/ formula milk.

mynewpassion Sat 04-May-13 07:48:38

I had to go with my sister to the doctor for her twins. The doctor recommended adding a bit of pear juice to water if the babies become constipated. It was a high ratio something like 1 part juice to every 3 or 4 part water. The juice is very diluted.

Restorer Sat 04-May-13 07:49:40

Yes, i thought the 'rules' on nuts had changed too Rebecca

bigkidsdidit Sat 04-May-13 07:50:24

I thought nuts were fine after 6 months, just not whole ones for the choking risk. Certainly DS had peanut butter from 6 months.

mynewpassion Sat 04-May-13 07:55:05

Honey is definitely a NO, NO before one.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sat 04-May-13 08:00:20

Whole nuts aren't recommended for children under five as they are a choking hazard.

Things like smooth peanut butter can be given after six months.

Honey should not be given to a child under one due to botulism. I've seen a baby with botulism and trust me, it's nasty.

Khaleese Sat 04-May-13 08:05:38

You need to decide what your doing and stick to it. I had the following advise from grand mothers...

You need to breast feed every four hours. (newborn)
Are you not giving water (4 month)
A never ending list of health worries.

My standard response was "i'm not doing it that way, this is what i'm doing." if your confident people back off.

If they continue you say " your advise is now outdated"

Khaleese Sat 04-May-13 08:07:10

Fwiw, i'd pay for childcare.

mathanxiety Sat 04-May-13 08:07:54

Peanuts are legumes.

If there's a family history of allergy of any kind they will advise no tree nuts and no peanuts until after 1.

Lazyjaney Sat 04-May-13 08:25:19

Ask for your money back OP

I also love this idea that GPs have "out of date" ideas when they have clearly managed to successfully bring up kids of their own.

There are only baby rearing fashions OP, the Mk 1 human baby hasn't changed in millions of years.

WifeofGru Sat 04-May-13 08:34:25

I'm sure your MIL won't be long in getting up to speed with modern parenting practices. I'm sure my DDs will think I'm a crazy woman when I impart my parenting tips from this era.

edwardsmum11 Sat 04-May-13 08:38:17

Whole nuts after 5 I thought but crushed nuts at any age I thought.

WipsGlitter Sat 04-May-13 08:45:59

It was only a suggestion/advice. You can provide the food when he goes there (and grit your teeth when she feeds him what age wants, that's the price of free childcare!).

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