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to be slightly shocked when my MIL advised adding juice to my 3mo's water so he'll drink it?

(127 Posts)
poppyandthelion Fri 03-May-13 23:27:58

Hi, this is my first post!

I see my MIL every 3-4 weeks for an hour or 2 with my DS. This week at the visit I mentioned I have been trying to give him water but he's not really been interested. Her advice was to add juice to it..! He's 3 months old!

Also on a visit about a month ago she said that it wouldn't be long until I could give him rusks and prob from about 3 months. I said I'd be trying to not wean him until 6 months if I can but she thought that was silly and he could go much sooner.

These are not my main concerns as he's my DS and I'll be the one feeding him etc. For now.

When I go back to work we will have to have MIL looking after him 1 day a week and I'm slightly concerned as to what she'll feed him or give him to drink even with my instruction. My DP says he's turned out fine and all GM's spoil there GKs.

AIBU??

sammysaidso Fri 03-May-13 23:31:39

Pay for a child minder or nursery.grandparents mean well but have very out of date ideas.

sammysaidso Fri 03-May-13 23:32:16

Sorry missed a space then blush

Xales Fri 03-May-13 23:36:08

Should you be giving a three month old baby water at all?

zoobaby Fri 03-May-13 23:36:17

Be thankful she didn't suggest some kind of alcohol additive. YANBU either. When she's looking after your DS you'll first need to establish what is acceptable and non-acceptable. GPs are usually willing to listen as long as there's a sensible reason.

zoobaby Fri 03-May-13 23:37:52

Actually, I take back my "usually" and replace it with a "sometimes".

zoobaby Fri 03-May-13 23:40:35

And tell DP there's a big difference between spoiling your GC and blatantly disregarding you DIL's wishes.

valiumredhead Fri 03-May-13 23:41:34

It's juice in some water not poison grin Just tell her you don't want to give your baby juice.

Saying that juice sorted out my ds's constipation and that was advised by a consultant from Kings and ds was younger than 3 months grin

NotKathyReichs Fri 03-May-13 23:47:15

She is following the advice she got, and what worked for her dc. It is really annoying but if you ask her to have your child you have to accept she will do things her way.

ohforfoxsake Fri 03-May-13 23:49:03

Give her a break. She's only trying to help.

The recommended way of doing things change all the time, and she's sharing her knowledge as she knows it. It was recommended at the time that DS1 be weaned at 3 months. DS2 was born 14 months later and the advice was 6 months.

Children need their relationship with their grandparents, your DC is very lucky to have her and I don't suppose she's accepting payment for the childcare.

I mean this kindly, but you need to relax a bit.

CloudsAndTrees Fri 03-May-13 23:59:20

Yabu to be shocked and think that someone who is now old enough to be a grandparent should be up to date with all of the advice that is given now.

When her babies were babies, the things she is advising you were seen as good advice!

Did you think she should stock up on baby magazines and books so that she could have a lovely read all about how everything she did with her babies is now considered wrong?

It's only a bit of juice. Babies used to be weaned from earlier than 3 months, a bit of juice and water is hardly a big deal. Just say you don't want to do it as you want to stick with the advice.

She's only trying to help, you can't expect her to have kept up with it all. I haven't since my first baby and I've had DC not that long ago. I always just followed what I thought was best rather than 'the advice'.

DuelingFanjo Sat 04-May-13 00:05:23

Weaning guidelines don't change 'all the time' they've only changed something like twice in many years.

YANBU to want her to follow your rules on what your child can eat, drink etc. However YABU to expect her to know if no-one has gone through it with her in detail & explained reasons why etc. Advice on baby safety was vastly different only a few years ago. My MIL has given/tried to give various things to my DD who is still not 1 year: marzipan at 8 months, honey & brandy in her milk FFS at 4 months! Icing off a cake bought from a market stall, it hadn't even been covered, DD was 3 months, I was livid, she could literally have killed her with listeria or something!

I hope think my MIL just didn't realise how different things are now, this is probably the case for you as well.

bicyclebuiltforfour Sat 04-May-13 00:24:01

Why are you giving a 3m old water??

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm Sat 04-May-13 00:27:20

Juice..........OMG.shock

Keep your eyes on that one, she is clearly deranged.

And may try to actually eat your baby.grin

ps. YABU.

CloudsAndTrees Sat 04-May-13 00:30:27

It sounds wierd that you are seeing her once every three to four weeks for just an hour or two when the baby is only three months old, yet you are expecting her to know everything about how babies are looked after nowadays.

It sounds like she's barely seen him, and you say 'we will have to have mil looking after him' when you go back to work.

You don't have to do anything. You could find someone who is paid to know the up to date guidelines instead of taking a huge favour from someone you sound like you have very little respect for.

pickledginger Sat 04-May-13 00:38:14

Why are you giving a 3 month old water confused

edwardsmum11 Sat 04-May-13 00:44:49

I'm also wondering why you are giving a 3mo water.

kritur Sat 04-May-13 01:05:49

3mo babies should not be having water... Unless it's for a specific reason like constipation. Breast milk or formula should provide all their liquid and there should be no need to give additional water unless you live in a very hot country and LO is ff.

Your MIL is only saying what worked for her, your OH has a point...

StarsdontShine Sat 04-May-13 01:13:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wreckitralph Sat 04-May-13 01:52:19

3 months old is a bit early for juice but I do not think your MIL is totally wrong. My children are both under 7 and I used this method to get my kids to drink water because it is very bland. I used 1/4 apple or pear juice and 3/4 water. As they got used to it, I reduced the amount of juice. Eventually they drank the water on it's own and now drink water all day every day. They also like juice which is a bonus. One of my friends was very happy to point out my failings as a parent when my oldest was young and how she "wouldn't do that to her child" when I used every trick in the book to get them to eat healthy things. I do actually think you need to pull tricks out of a hat sometimes to get a good result in the end.

Of course it's up to you but it's not as bad as you think. She's not exactly asking you to blend a big mac and fries and feed baby with this.

Look, I don't see eye to eye with my MIL all the time, but the fact of the matter is that your MIL can be a lot of support to you and can help you with your child if you let her. MIL and I often clash, but at the end of the day she is actually the only other person (except for DH) that I trust with my children.

Wuldric Sat 04-May-13 01:58:19

YABU - PFB - s'okay, we've all been there smile

Your child will not erupt in boils, I promise.

Kafri Sat 04-May-13 06:29:27

I've been told to give ds water if he's not pood and if it didn't help to put a spoonful of OJ into a 4oz bottle of water. (just for those asking about giving 3m water)

if you only see MIL this infrequently then how is she going to know dc well enough to babysit for you.

agree with others tho, if you don't think you can trust her to do things how you want then don't accept free child care - plenty of childminders and nurseries to choose from.

also agree that she'll be going off information that she was told but that doesn't mean she shoukd go directly against what yiu want.

conorsrockers Sat 04-May-13 06:46:41

DS1 didn't like water - so we gave him juice (sugar free etc ...) from about that age, much better for their teeth than fruit juice, and weaned all of them at around 4 months (my others all happened to like water better!) Did mine no harm at all - now strapping lads. It's hard not to get too caught up in all the 'advice' and preciousness (I say that in the nicest possible way) of it, as long as you're sensible they will be fine. As your DH says - he's alive!!

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