To hope making friends is still possible

(29 Posts)
Korovaj Fri 03-May-13 14:41:22

In short, I'm 35, work full time and am about to have my first child. But at the moment i feel quite lonely and am wondering whether making new friends at this age is actually possible??

I've been to university (twice) but always seem to make the wrong friendship choices - people seem to 'use' me when they have problems and drop me when they are happy. I have some great work colleagues but they're not true friends. I think I'm quite a nice person, interested in lots of things so feel I do have something to offer in the friendship stakes.

I've joined some online parenting groups and have tried night classes but to no avail. So I am just wondering, is it unreasonable to hope that there are people out there who aren't already in tight cliques etc etc? An I just too old to make new friends?

I'm wondering whether to just give up and settle for enjoying my own company....

Whatalotofpiffle Fri 03-May-13 18:54:18

I have made loads if friends since having dd, she has ramped up my social life a treat!!

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Fri 03-May-13 18:57:21

I made my closest friends with small children/school gates!! Never had 'good' friends before that. Have you joined NCT classes? It takes time though.

runningforme Fri 03-May-13 22:36:50

What you said about friends for 'seasons' Salbertina is exactly it. I have had to come to terms with this - when friends I thought I was close with don't keep in touch once I've moved, or when friends don't invite me/us out with the group etc. I try not to let it get to me, but like you, it can get quite isolating at times. I've always quite liked the idea of a small group of friends who pop over each others unannounced for cups of tea and a natter, who have nights in or out and go on the odd camping holiday with the kids together. Instead I have a friend here, a friend there and another over there. All pretty good friends, but not connected to each other so hard to keep up with individually. And all requiring scheduling for 'play dates/coffee' etc.

MsVestibule Fri 03-May-13 22:59:51

I had my first baby at 35 too and have so many more friends now than I did before! I met a few women at our local Surestart centre and for the first year, we were quite a tight knit group. Once we all went back to work, we drifted a bit, but still have the odd night out and keep in touch via FB - not what I would consider to be good friends, but I know I could call on them in an emergency.

I now only have one very close friend from the early baby years, but have made some more since DC1 started school. You sound lovely though, Korovaj, and I'm sure you'll make some good friends!

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