To be disapointed in the human race :(

(93 Posts)
HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 09:31:53

I went to an appointment at the women's centre at the hospital yesterday. After booking in I was asked to go round to the waiting room which was packed. I'm currently 4 and a half months pregnant and have a bit of a bump. There were plenty of men in the waiting room along with lots of pregnant women. A few of the men near me looked at my bump but didn't offer me a seat. I was fine with that as im not heavily pregnant, I do faint if I stand up too long but they don't know that.

A little while later I managed to get a seat and was waiting for my name to be called. I then saw the most painfully pregnant looking woman (tiny tiny frame and a bump the size of a planet) walk in and I thought surely someone will offer this woman a seat. Nope, not one of the men stood up. As soon as I realised this I gave her mine and had a chat with her. Turns out she is two weeks from being induced with twins and had just walked to the hospital, no wonder she looked exhausted!!!

I'm really cross that not one person in the room cared enough about another human being to offer this lady a seat, it just makes me so sad sad

Pootles2010 Fri 03-May-13 09:34:06

Um bit mean of them, but hardly the worst the human race has done?! Bit over dramatic of you imho.

cozietoesie Fri 03-May-13 09:34:52

I'd have stood up, waved in her direction, and said 'Gentleman?????' in a pointed tone with a hard look at them.

I think I'm turning into my Grandmother. (Let alone my mother.)

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 03-May-13 09:38:03

Bystander apathy. Everyone else in the room will have been thinking the same as you "Someone should give that lady a seat" but no-one believes it is upto them sad

Once you'd given her your seat if another elderly or pregnant woman came in another person would have offered up their seat.

One of my favourite sayings is "I always thought 'someone should do something about, then I realised I am someone'" I teach my children to live by that. They always offer up their seats to elderly or pregnant women or children younger and less stable than themselves.

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 09:39:46

I like that cozie I wish I was gutsy enough to do that! Pootles I don't think
I said it was the worst thing the human race has ever done... :s

Purple2012 Fri 03-May-13 09:41:10

I've told my SD if she is on a bus and it's full if someone elderly gets on she should offer them her seat. It's common decency.

cozietoesie Fri 03-May-13 09:41:21

Well Grandma was fair and well-loved - but blimey, you wouldn't want to cross her.

BabsAndTheRu Fri 03-May-13 09:42:57

Yep I'm with cozie, I would have just said right guys one of you up and let this lady sit down.

phantomhairpuller Fri 03-May-13 09:43:22

I can remember being on a bus when pregnant with DS1, it was fairly busy with a few empty seats right at the back. Fwiw I was happy to stand at the front. After 2mins or so, this dear little old man stood up and said (rather loudly) 'it doesn't look like anyone else is going to offer you their seat my dear, would you like mine?' Cue a lot of people looking rather ashamed of themselves smile
I declined the offer of the seat, I think the old gent needed it more than I did!

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 09:44:51

Doinmecleaning that's really good, I'm gna remember that!

I thought it was common decency too purple, that's why it shocked me!

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 09:57:13

Phantom that is so sweet, this is gna come out a bit wrong but I love old men lol!! I have a proper soft spot for golden oldies like him!

SundaysGirl Fri 03-May-13 10:02:22

But one person DID care enough to give up their seat smile

This does remind me of a story my sister related about being heavily pregnant on the tube and being exhausted. No-one would meet her eye and in the end someone got up to leave right next to where she was standing. She lowered herself to the seat only to find herself pretty much sitting in the lap of some fella who had sneaked in underneath her! Her colleague shamed the hell out of him and he moved in the end!

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Fri 03-May-13 10:04:05

Old men rock. I was in a taxi queue in the rain with dd in the sling when a young bloke taxi-jacked me. An old gent in a tweed suit yanked open the door of the taxi an said " young man!! Where is your chivalry?" Young bloke sheepishly got out and did the walk of shame to the back of the queue.

iheartdusty Fri 03-May-13 10:07:01

I don't disagree with you but I suppose as it was the hospital waiting room it is possible that everyone there was too ill to stand comfortably.

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 10:11:13

I heart dusty... In the women's centre?? I feel that the men may have possibly been there to support wives/ girlfriends etc... As far as I'm aware there are only services for women in the women's centre...

'young man where is your chivalry' cracked me up!! Sounds like something my grandad would say :D

HairyGrotter Fri 03-May-13 10:11:18

I always offer my seat when the situation arises, I'm female. I don't think gender comes into it, just decency and manners.

MagratOfStolat Fri 03-May-13 10:12:36

Even when pregnant, I was first to offer a seat and the last to accept one, because my mother DRILLED it into me "first to offer, last to accept". My DP jokes that it must be tattooed into my skull.

Thing is, it suits all manner of situations - holding the door, sharing food/taxi/the bill, seats on a bus...

Booyhoo Fri 03-May-13 10:16:19

what's this got to do with the human race? was the entire human race in the waiting room?

RedPencils Fri 03-May-13 10:16:28

I would have stood up and so would my DH. I'd be giving it loads of tutting and eye rolling to everyone else as well.

I don't let my DCs take up a seat if there's another adult waiting either.

Can I be excuses from your shaming if the human race.

Growlithe Fri 03-May-13 10:18:00

There are plenty of people who do give their seat though. A couple of years ago we went for the weekend to London with our DDs (one was in a buggy) and my late FIL - who didn't consider himself 'old' (early sixties) but had snow white hair.

LOADS of people offered him their seat on the tube. And when we had to carry the buggy up and down steps at tube stations, we would often get offers of help from people, even city chaps (I worried about the dirty wheels on their smart suits).

Showed a lovely caring attitude from Londoners you seldom hear about. smile

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 10:20:51

Haha red pencils you are excused!! Booyhoo wow you are very literal! It was simply a saddening indication of how society no longer feels an obligation to care for others in my opinion. Using the phrase 'human race' was easier than saying 'every single selfish person in that waiting room' I am of course aware that there are many out there who would not act like that.

delboysfileofax Fri 03-May-13 10:21:46

Got to be honest, after the last time I offered my seat to a pregnant lady and got massively snapped at " I'm pregnant not fucking disabled" I wouldn't have stood up either!

Binkybix Fri 03-May-13 10:21:59

I'm pregnant at the moment and I've found people (mainly women) have been pretty good at giving seats on public transport.

When me and my dad went to the FA cup semi final tubes were obvs v busy, and people could not always see the bump. Dad kept asking people to give me a seat. I was embarrassed but grateful.

delboysfileofax Fri 03-May-13 10:23:09

And cozietosie; "gentlemen?" why couldn't a woman offer a seat?

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Fri 03-May-13 10:25:35

My experience of being heavily pregnant was very different. On a visit to London people fell over themselves offering me a seat.

When pushing a buggy round loads of people helped me with the stairs (mostly blokes in suits). I think the human race is just fine, maybe the blokes in that one waiting room were rude but most people aren't like that.

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