I fucking HATE being a MOTHER! I want to run far, far away.........

(39 Posts)
TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras Thu 02-May-13 17:45:11

Just that.

Wish I could just visit them from time to time, preferably at bedtime and someone else could deal with all this crap day in, day out. Screaming, crying, arguing, fighting, fucking crumbs, unidentified disgusting things and snot angry everywhere, refusal to anything, door slamming, name calling, stomping, stamping.

Aaaargggghhhhh.

musickeepsmesane Thu 02-May-13 19:57:47

You need more than one ball!!!! wink Tell the teenager how you are feeling. You may be surprised at the support you get. I think your DH needs to give you a couple of days off after all, if it is that easy he will enjoy the break from work........................... wine

stopgap Thu 02-May-13 19:59:15

How old is your teenager? Would she be capable of looking after the twins? Or if too young/unwilling, would you consider a babysitter?

I only have one child, but consider my graduate student babysitter an essential godsend, in the absence of family nearby/a husband who works long hours. I use her two afternoons, when I do freelance work/go out for a run for half an hour, and also three evenings when my son is asleep, one of which is date night, which I think is fundamental when you have kids.

timetogrowup Tue 28-May-13 15:36:31

Hope the OP comes back. You need a bit of help, hope it's not quite so bleak today.
You could get in touch with family lives.

http://familylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-help-line

R2G Tue 28-May-13 16:41:32

Another organisation is Homestart, they can help with a volunteer to come round and help you/ listening ear when you have an under 5/ feel overwhelmed.

gallifrey Tue 28-May-13 16:57:30

I thought I was the only person that felt like this, I often feel like running away and my 2 girls are quite well behaved!
My eldest dd(9) is normally lovely but is acting like a bloody stroppy teenager and my 2 yr old is the epitome of the terrible twos!
I used to be really active and do stuff with my eldest daughter but I now have health issues (back problems and fibromyalgia) so I just don't have the energy to do anything. I feel guilty about this when I see what other people do with their children.
I'm hoping it will be better when they are older.

Donnadoon Tue 28-May-13 17:08:28

thanks Just wanted to say that you sound like a brilliant Mum.Give yourself a pat on the back for attempting all that with the four of them in tow...I doubt that many people could cope all of the time.

Donnadoon Tue 28-May-13 17:11:06

Ooops just realized this is an old thread!

lottieandmia Tue 28-May-13 17:21:01

OP, I do admit to feeling like you sometimes although I have 3, not 4 and I'm a lone parent. My oldest dd has SEN and needs a lot of physical help to do everything, which I have always found ok, if time consuming.

However, since dd3 (aged 4) came into our world I have realised how challenging parenting can be! My older two girls are by nature quiet - she by contrast is very very noisy. She stresses out dd1 who can't cope with the noise and has meltdowns, but aside from that she also will not accept when I say no and explain why and will simply ask again, and again and again and again and again and again and follow me around until she brow beats me into submission. I am not used to a child like this. I love her so much and she is a loving, sociable little girl but I get very frustrated with her and then I feel guilty for not understanding her. I find her emotionally draining and am often physically exhausted. I rarely get even an hour to myself in a week. I think this is the problem - do you get any time just for you at all?

Notmymother1 Sat 03-Aug-13 10:01:13

I completely understand what you're going through - I'm trying to put my own childhood into perspective at the moment too; didn't realise how non-parented I was. I think this is why I struggle so much with being a parent myself. I like the parenting classes advice posted by someone on here.
You are not alone!

Whothefuckfarted Sat 03-Aug-13 10:03:47

Ghost thread...

needaholidaynow Sat 03-Aug-13 10:16:49

Oooooh just imagine if a stepmum posted this thread!!

"I fucking HATE being a STEPMOTHER!"

....can you just imagine??

springytotty Sat 03-Aug-13 10:17:24

So what if it's a 'ghost' thread??

formicadinosaur Sat 03-Aug-13 10:56:29

I Am in a similar boat. 4 boys. Eldest almost a teen and youngest a toddler. Hubby works long long hours and no family about. It is really hard!!! I have taken some steps recently as it was getting too much! 1) getting to bed early 2) preparing the night before for the next day. 3) insisting my husband leaves for work later so that I can nip to the gym at 7am while he gets the kids changed and breakfasted ( he would otherwise only see them to kiss goodnight) 4) insisting my DH takes all the children for a few hours at weekends

I know when I feel happier, my kids are much nicer. What can you do to feel better? What do you need for yourself?

I found that once I felt more refreshed, I felt more able to lay down rules for the kids. Lots of time out even for 2 year old. Try warning everyone if they are all being disruptive, then sending them ALL to their rooms if they can't behave. And keep repeating. Bed early if necessary. No pudding. Also lots if treats for good behaviour - ice cream etc. playing games together. Attention.

Can you have a long chat with the teen? Have a heart to heart.

formicadinosaur Sat 03-Aug-13 10:58:14

It will get easier.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now