....to be really angry at my cousin's wife

(74 Posts)
Cailinsalach Thu 02-May-13 11:32:31

...not actually doing it of course, just wanting to.... Really badly....

This woman has been married to my cousin for about 35 years. In that time she has had big massive screamy shouty sweary rows with everyone in the family. All her in laws. Everyone of us. Some she has had numerous screamy times with.

She perceives slights and insults where none were intended. We all learned years ago that you just don't joke with this woman, never tease, definitely no banter, she just couldn't take it. So we all tiptoe around her, conversing about the weather and who won the match and completely avoiding anything that she could misinterpret as insulting to her or her family.

Anyway my coping mechanism means that I avoid her, although it means I don't see very much of my cousin who is a really nice bloke. They live next door but one to me and my Dad.

Now this is where my piss goes from a simmer to a rolling boil. My old Dad, 90, met her and stopped for a chat. Dad tends to speak before he thinks and sometimes could word his thoughts better, but there is nothing nasty or spiteful about him. He is a sweet gentle elderly old man. She told him she was feeling unwell with a recurring chest infection and she had been to A&E twice last week then went away for a hen party for two days.

Dad said she should have stayed in hospital. He meant well. He meant she might be feeling better if she was under medical care. So what did the rip roaring bitch do to my poor old Dad? Yup. Screamed and swore and shouted at him. He couldn't even tell what she was saying as she yelled in his face. Now Dad is all upset, not sleeping and having panic attacks. 90 years old and frightened of his nephew's wife.

So this throat ripping idea. Is it really bad?

I would report her behaviour to the police.

bollockstoit Thu 02-May-13 11:58:28

Was also going to suggest reporting to the police. It needs someone to stand up to her instead of appeasing her all the time. Someone on here's really good at responding to people like that, is it expat?

ok, then call your cousin and tell him what she has done to a 90 year old man!

DontmindifIdo Thu 02-May-13 12:00:43

yep, either report her to the police, or go round and give her back with both barrells, I bet noone ever shouts back.

I agree you shoukd contact the police, make an official complaint. Throat ripping not such a great idea, blood stains are a pain to get out your clothes

MorrisZapp Thu 02-May-13 12:01:40

Ooh it's all gone a bit Kenny Rogers now.

TSSDNCOP Thu 02-May-13 12:01:54

No, you are not U.

I would be round to a person that spoke to my dad like that in a jiffy to rip them a new one.

pickledginger Thu 02-May-13 12:03:33

I think she needs to know, through your cousin, that a repeat of that behaviour will see the police round to her house. If they lived further away it might be possible to avoid her but if she's next door but one your father needs to know that he's safe from that.

Pootles2010 Thu 02-May-13 12:04:01

I think you need to take your late Uncle's approach, sounds like it worked well.

Also talk to your cousin-perhaps you need to agree, as a family, that until she learns to behave she will not be welcome, and just don't let her in, don't talk to her, dont' engage.

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 02-May-13 12:06:08

My elderly, sweet mum died last year.
She was very frail and fortunately only had kindness in her old age.
I would have wanted to kill anybody that screamed in her face, she would have fallen apart.
You all sound like you're scared of her, why the fuck does nobody take her on?

magicstar1 Thu 02-May-13 12:07:14

I'd pin her to the wall by the throat and frighten the life out of her!

You really should report her though...if you don't do anything now, it could be worse on your dad in the future.

gillywillywoo Thu 02-May-13 12:10:17

I'd say rip her heart out as well but she probably hasn't got one grin

DreamingofSummer Thu 02-May-13 12:14:42

Go round and give her both barrels. If she refuses to apologise to your dad, get the police involved

bollockstoit Thu 02-May-13 12:15:39

All bullies are cowards. If everyone just told her to fuck off, her power would be gone. You're all nice, polite people and she has taken advantage of that.

morethanpotatoprints Thu 02-May-13 12:17:55

Your poor old Dad, this womans behaviour is terrible and there is no excuse. I would tell your cousin, contact the police and have nothing to do with neither cousin nor his wife. Whilst you all let her behave like this you are condoning her behaviour.

AnonYonimousBird Thu 02-May-13 12:20:44

Let's form an orderly queue.....

Your poor Dad.

YANBU!!!! Just rip real slow... maximum pain!

NatashaBee Thu 02-May-13 12:21:18

I think her behaviour has gone on long enough and she needs to be told and slapped. I would talk to your cousin afterwards, he sounds like he's stuck in an impossible situation and is alienated from his family because of her - let him know you want to support him and encourage him to get her to see the doctor to discuss possible mental health issues. I would report to the police, too.

quoteunquote Thu 02-May-13 12:23:33

Phone 101, and report this person,

Keep a diary of any further contact, report her so no one in your family feels they have to deal with her.

You should all have a zero tolerance towards her behaviour,

It is because it has been tolerated for years, she now feels it is acceptable to treat any of you like this, she will continue to do so, as long as you let her.

olgaga Thu 02-May-13 12:23:44

Steer well clear of her and your cousin. He must be a bit weird too, to have been married to her for 35 years!

No need for even a polite acknowledgement when someone's like that. I'm surprised they weren't ostracised years ago if it's that bad.

DameFanny Thu 02-May-13 12:31:57

I'll hold your coat.

seriouscakeeater Thu 02-May-13 12:36:26

shock I imagined it being my lovely nan.. sad angry

Initially I would kick her door down and punch her in the throat! But would probably get arrested!

I would phone police over intimidation and tell EVERYONE in family what she has done! How fucking dare she treat a 90 year old like that!

I would also embark in reign of terror make her life a misery! Dog shot smeared threw car radiator --u can't get rid of the smell when
fans come on--

sweetestcup Thu 02-May-13 12:38:27

Put it this way if a complete stranger walked up to your 90 year old Dad in the street and yelled into his face leaving him in a state of fear and distress would you phone the Police? Of course you would! So why should it be any different just because shes family?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 02-May-13 13:27:13

I would be tempted to let the police know that she has used thrreatening behaviour towds him and that he is now too fraid to go out or whtever

Rip her throat open with your teeth. What a bitch!!!

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