To think if you're behind a funeral you turn the music off in your car?

(200 Posts)

On the way to work this morning. Behind a funeral. Loads of people walking behind a hearse.

The bucko in front of me had loud thumps music blaring.

AIBU to think he/she should have turned it off?

Panzee Thu 02-May-13 09:55:15

I live in a smaller community and most people still stop (cars and walking) when a funeral proceeds. I was in the family car for one and a group of road workers all stopped what they were doing and bowed their heads. I was really touched by that.

mrsjay Thu 02-May-13 09:55:16

I do however, think it is incredibly rude to plan a funeral during rush hour, I mean, the dead person is hardly going to mind if they have their funeral at 9am or 10:30am.

are you taking the piss shock jesus wept I have read it all now

mrsjay Thu 02-May-13 09:55:43

that is really nice to hear panzee

Poledra Thu 02-May-13 09:57:08

Took the words out of my mouth there, mrsjay.

Poledra Thu 02-May-13 09:57:38

For both your posts, though I originally meant the first one.

ReculverTowers Thu 02-May-13 09:58:01

I was once waiting at an island and a funeral procession was going round and some twat cut into the procession so he could go round the island. It really did annoy me SO much

I don't agree that people are in their own little bubble, they are arrogant and selfish if they think cutting up a funeral procession is an acceptable way to behave

StuntGirl Thu 02-May-13 09:58:11

When I was going to my Grandad's funeral as a teenager I remember as the hearse turned the corner up to the church an old man at the bus stop opposite took off his hat and bowed his head while it passed. It was such a lovely, respectful gesture from a total stranger, I've never forgotten it. I rarely see funeral processions but when I do I stop what I'm doing while they pass and do the same.

But then I often feel as a society we are not respectful enough of the dead, or indeed the people left dealing with grief.

mrsjay Thu 02-May-13 09:58:44

I remember at my grandmother's funeral, all the neighbours (those who weren't coming to the actual funeral) came out of their houses to the street and stood in front of their gates as the hearse went by. i haven't seen that since.

that is really touching I havn't seen it for a while I can always remember walking along with my nana and people just stopping and waiting till the procession passed

ReculverTowers Thu 02-May-13 09:59:43

I still close my curtains if someone I know has died blush
I think i might be victorian

Tiredmumno1 Thu 02-May-13 10:00:30

Catherine that is one of the most ridiculous thing I've ever read.

phantomhairpuller Thu 02-May-13 10:04:04

1Catherine1, are you for real?! Or do you just have an odd sense of humour?!

I think it's massively disrespectful and I think, had a been in the walking procession, I would have knocked on the idiots window and bloody well told him so!

I'll always remember my gramps funeral. Some arsehole on a motorbike cut in between the hearse and the family car and then made no attempt to overtake further. He literally sat between the hearse and the family car until we turned off to the crem angry moron!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Thu 02-May-13 10:04:15

YANBU of course. That's awful. On a positive note though I like the way you call him a "Bucko" grin We should say that more often about people.

ArthurCucumber Thu 02-May-13 10:07:15

YANBU. Highly disrespectful. I once saw a procession being aggressively tailgated, flashing lights and everything angry. And no, not by the emergency services, just some wanker in an Audi.

Yanbu at all. The funeral is something the family will remember for a lifetime, the twat in the car won't even remember it tomorrow. As for the comment about it being inconsiderate to arrange a funeral in rush hour shock funnily enough when arranging the 2 that I have traffic wasn't even on my radar of things to think about.

CelticPromise Thu 02-May-13 10:08:17

Going to bury my mum last year two scruffy looking blokes outside a pub took their caps off and bowed heads. It still happens!

I expect the driver with the music just didn't think.

navada Thu 02-May-13 10:09:53

YANBU. That's awful.

wigglesrock Thu 02-May-13 10:10:04

We all come our of our houses when a body comes home to be waked and then again when the coffin is brought from the house to the chapel. My mum used to make us turn the radio off when we used to go to the graveyard smile

Most funerals I've been to are part of the mass so you don't get a choice of times.

Musicaltheatremum Thu 02-May-13 10:11:33

When my husband died at home and the undertakers removed him from the house my abiding memory throughout the trauma was of my neighbour, who was on his way out to the car, stopping while they took DH to the car to take him to the funeral parlour. That small act of compassion meant so much. I even wrote him a note to say thank you.

MrGeresHamster Thu 02-May-13 10:11:34

I always stop walking and bow my head when a hearse passes. Must have been something I was taught to do. I

MrGeresHamster Thu 02-May-13 10:12:24

...it gives you a moment to reflect and think of the family who has lost someone.

mrsjay Thu 02-May-13 10:12:46

there used to be a funeral gate crasher at every single funeral where we lived she turned up to my grans funeral and the tea afterwards it was the most awkward situation everybody kept saying who is that woman, I then heard the funeral directors used to look out for her I know you can't stop people attending churches but the graveside and wake was taking it a bit far

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Thu 02-May-13 10:14:57

I always stop and have a short 'reflect' about things when I see a funeral. It should be a little poignant moment in the day.

(I might not do that if I saw loads of them though hmm )

SummerRemembered Thu 02-May-13 10:18:21

My (absolutely lovely and dearly missed) aunt lived in a small community and when she died, we were astounded by the level of respect and sympathy extended by the villagers, whether they knew her or not. Because our family is quite large and there was not only the hearse and two official family cars but a lot more of us in our own cars also, the local police took note of everyone who was travelling to the funeral and accompanied the whole, long procession to ensure we stayed together. They stopped traffic and waived us through red lights to ensure this would happen. People came to their gates and stood in silence whilst we passed. The same level of respect was extended by everyone, whether young or old. Even a group of teenagers kicking a ball against a wall stopped and bowed their heads.

It was incredibly moving and a real testament to the community values and way the villagers had been brought up, and continue to bring up their own families.

Back in the city, I have also seen people cutting up funeral processions on sadly far too many occasions. Does anyone know if this is actually covered in the Highway Code or Driving Theory Test? On one occasion I saw a very young girl - most likely a new driver - visibly panic and knew she had done wrong when she got in the middle of a procession. Perhaps driver education is the answer but it still doesn't explain the attitude of those on the street or the worse thing I ever saw, which was a bloke who was definitely old enough to know better, drive up behind an obviously slow moving funeral procession and honk his horn whilst shouting out the window to make them go faster. Later, when the hearse was out of the way and other vehicles had caught up with him at traffic lights, there was a lot of winding down windows and giving him a real dressing down from other drivers.

Death certainly brings out the very best and very worst of human behaviour.

landofsoapandglory Thu 02-May-13 10:19:04

YANBU. Unfortunately some people aren't brought up to respect others anymore. It is very sad really.

Catherine, Don't be so ridiculous! My Grandfather's funeral was at 9.15am. It was purposely planned for that time because part of my father's business, at the time, was delivering things every afternoon. It had to be done and there was no way of getting out of it, and my brother and sister were drivers. Had the funeral not have been at 9.15, my dad wouldn't have been able to attend his father's funeral!

DrSeuss Thu 02-May-13 10:20:50

I was brought up to stand still, head bowed slightly, if a funeral procession passed, waiting for them to go before moving. My mother also believed it was appropriate to make the sign of the cross, which I still do, even while driving! And I'm not that old, I'm 42!
I did think that my gran's neighbours might have washed their car after her cortège had left....
In the highly civilised North, I was also taught to close the curtains at the front of the house if a funeral procession was due to leave a neighbour's home. I still do that, too.

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