Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

AIBU to think things are just not "nice" anymore

(33 Posts)
Havingamadmoment Thu 02-May-13 08:13:28

Dh and I have been lucky the last few years all the talk of financial problems etc just haven't affected us. We live in a sort of bubble really, self employed in a business that hasn't been affected and I know we have been very lucky so I'm putting that disclaimer first since this is AIBU after all!
I also don't know that much about politics , I vote but I don't get heavily involved so this isn't about that.

However, the last year especially it just feels like the world is now unfriendly, I have been verbally abused on buses for having too many children, I have had had terrible service from people on officialdom , there seems to be a undercurrent of unpleasantness which I hadn't noticed before.

Is the world more unfriendly now or am I just getting old?

I agree, in many cases common courtesy seems to have gone out of the window.

MisForMumNotMaid Thu 02-May-13 08:17:31

YANBU. But i don't think its aggression I think its defensiveness. It's as though everyone feels pitted against everyone else.

On the other hand you get to see the best side of humanity with those going the extra mile to set up and donate to things like food banks for those struggling as a result f all this change.

Dolallytats England Thu 02-May-13 08:20:50

YANBU-sometimes it feels like everyone is just out for themselves. Basic manners have gone out the window and it just makes everything a bit more unpleasant.

LifeofPo Thu 02-May-13 08:25:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OTTMummA Thu 02-May-13 08:27:16

Yes, I agree that it is mostly defensiveness.
I am seeing less patience for people 60+ especially on buses, people are just ignoring them.
Im not sure what it will take to change this feeling though.

LifeofPo Thu 02-May-13 08:28:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MomsNetCurtains Thu 02-May-13 08:36:22

I'm not sure how your lack of financial problems has anything to do with your question. confused

But I don't think YABU. Society has changed in my opinion, and not for the better.

Havingamadmoment Thu 02-May-13 08:38:11

I just put it to say that I know other people have suffered more in the last few years than we have.

YANBU.

People are more judgy. Eyeing up what you spend and what you do. We were on benefits until last week and we bought some furniture for DD1s room (that we saved for) and I could tell some family were judging us for it.

People are under a lot of stress. Even if they have a job they are wondering how long for. Its sad to see.

StuntGirl Thu 02-May-13 08:47:16

I don't see what your finances have to do with other people's behaviour.

YABU anyway, behaviour on buses has always been vile, there have always been rude/drunken yobs ready to give abuse and there have always been rude staff when dealing with companies.

Tailtwister Thu 02-May-13 09:00:22

Well, I do agree that financial pressures are huge and people are likely to be more short tempered because of that. The constant worry can really get you down. Like you say, you're lucky this hasn't affected you.

People are generally less generous towards others nowadays and I suppose that's what you're experiencing. People will always look for others to blame.

Cravingdairy Thu 02-May-13 09:01:46

I can't say I've noticed anything different and I live in a city very badly hit by redundancies. The coalition's policies do seem designed to set us against one another though and perhaps it's working.

melika Thu 02-May-13 11:10:51

I do get what you are saying, just feel like you are doing your best to be pleasant and helpful and no one else bothers. I'm especially pleasant to pensioners because I realise they may have not spoken to anyone that day.

I was at the local hospital after a trip to A&E, waiting for my lift and was directing people to the right buildings. Life does not have to be miserable. Some people thrive on it.
YANBU.

FlowersBlown Thu 02-May-13 11:18:33

Totally agree. This government is trying to justify its economic policy by turning people against each other. More than 2 kids? A drain on the state. No kids? Who's going to look after you when you're old, the state? It's become very personal, and that is leading to people feeling justified in being very critical of other's life choices.

brunette123 Thu 02-May-13 11:22:54

you are def nbu

the biggest thing I notice nowadays is impatience - impatient drivers, impatient people in shops/queues/escalators, impatient people when you are trying to explain a problem to them - everyone wants everything now and wants everyone else to get out of the way. I think many car accidents are caused by people being impatient and driving too fast.

.

aldiwhore Thu 02-May-13 11:23:54

I think it depends where you are. My village is still full of meaningless pleasantaries that do nothing more than allow me to remain cheery yet miserable, a lot of folk here have been affected by the last few years of recession, and more generally the constant BAD NEWS headlines of recent years. I do feel though that actually our villagers put more effort in to be nice, it's like we're in denial to an outsider, we're not, but being nice is all we have to cling to at the moment.

I'm sure that if our village were bigger, and less familiar, clinging onto niceness would be harder.

My other 'home' is the same (not second home you understand, heart hom) so I think I'm lucky.

I have noticed random strangers being less calm, and when accidents happen, more rage and blame is spouted than is necessary.

dogsandcats Thu 02-May-13 11:26:19

Probably people are also scared.
The future seems more uncertain.

Counting your blessings can be a good idea anytime, but especially now.

TeWiSavesTheDay Thu 02-May-13 11:27:24

I think it's a direct consequences of negative press in papers like the Mail and the governments attack on benefits.

People are encouraged to eye each other up and judge whether what they are getting from the government is fair - why should you get child benefit, why should you get free bus travel, how come you've got x and I can't afford it...

They use that discontent to push through the policy decisions that they want.

Whether or not you agree with their policies I think it is vile to deliberately try to stock up discontent.

TeWiSavesTheDay Thu 02-May-13 11:29:44

I actually find everyone where I live very pleasant, but there are UKIP posters everywhere! I find it quite odd.

KoreRenati Thu 02-May-13 11:30:45

YANBU People seem to be more segregated nowadays. And I don't mean just race, sexist gender stereotypes seem more prevalent than I remember them being, different groups seem to be at each others throats for perceived imbalances

Bobyan Thu 02-May-13 11:37:58

Stealth brag?

MomsNetCurtains Thu 02-May-13 13:37:10

the biggest thing I notice nowadays is impatience - impatient drivers, impatient people in shops/queues/escalators, impatient people when you are trying to explain a problem to them - everyone wants everything now and wants everyone else to get out of the way. I think many car accidents are caused by people being impatient and driving too fast.

^ This and...

I have noticed random strangers being less calm, and when accidents happen, more rage and blame is spouted than is necessary.

^ this. Spot on!

LessMissAbs Thu 02-May-13 13:50:46

I've noticed how abusive many people can be, often people you wouldn't think would resort to verbal abuse. Intolerant of other people's political views when really quite mainstream (because no political opposition would be a dictatorship, right?). The vitriol around Margaret Thatcher's death was just awful.

In the last year, I've had two drivers of cars behind me making throat slitting and guns to the head gestures, I've had someone trying to drive into me deliberately in a car and someone try to mow me down in a car park when I was walking across it - all traffic incidents, but probably the most I interact with strangers. I'm wondering if its where I live - drove across Germany and Holland last year and had not one single incident, went to Turkey (known for its poor driving) on holiday and hired a car and found the drivers calmer and more considerate than here.

YouDontWinFriendsWithSalad Thu 02-May-13 14:01:31

YABU. There have been rude, violent, unpleasant people in every generation. Just read Juvenal (born around 100AD) who complains about 'the rude youth of today' and corrupt politicians and impatient people who cut him off in the street.

But it's possible that the recession has led to more stress and shorter tempers, perhaps?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now