Romance is dead. Dead as a very dead thing.

(85 Posts)
AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 21:58:47

H. Going to bed.

Me: Kiss me. You never kiss me needy and demanding Occasionally even I need a bit if affection.

H: I let you cut my toenails earlier.

[sob]

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:27:23

Still hic-ing

shock callin. I suspect he's too lazy to have another. I know I am.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 01-May-13 22:27:27

My husband bites his toenails.

I mean, he's nearly 50 so I'm impressed he's that bendy, but still...

Spam fritters it is then

Nagoo Wed 01-May-13 22:28:50

DH rips his toenails off in bed, and then scrapes me with the scratchy toes sad I don't know where the leavings get left hmm

cailin do you mind if I tell you where you went wrong?

No spaghetti hoops with his spam fritters, what man can possibly live without them?

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:40:10

I'm going up.

Do you think we'll make tender, passionate love, the fall asleep entwined in each other?

Or will he be there, snoring, with a cat on his chest? And I'll need to fight for the duvet, and wear 4 layers of deeply saggy and unattractive clothes?

Cailinsalach Wed 01-May-13 22:41:39

Spaghetti hoops? Who knew?

TooExtraImmatureCheddar Wed 01-May-13 22:45:39

Nagoo, are you me? <suspicious> There can't be two men out there with horrible torn-off toe-nails who like to spike their wives out of deep sleep by accidentally stretching a foot into them when they were relaxed and off their guard, can there?

Maryz Wed 01-May-13 22:48:36

dh and I went out for dinner last Saturday - all the kids were away.

I calculated that the last time we went out for a meal on our own was at Christmas in 1993.

We had to swap places half way through the meal as he was watching the Gaelic on the tv over my shoulder.

Romance is indeed dead.

ManifestoMT Wed 01-May-13 22:51:49

Your love is dooomed
Your love is dead

Chirruped my 5 yr old (circa gnomeo and Juliet)

My dh and I looked at each other and giggled

That's romance

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:53:27

When DD had some CBT the therapist asked us how often we had 'couple time'.

We fell about laughing and it has become a bit of a standing joke.

Although he won 2 main courses at a pub on a raffle recently so I suppose we'll have a 'date night'. Ew.

MagratOfStolat Wed 01-May-13 22:56:08

I can beat all of you in the unromantic stakes. ALL. OF. YOU.

Last night, DP got up after DP and I had exercised our rights as a couple. He then looks back at me and says, in a very casual tone, "you know, you really do have a gorgeous pussy."

He then walked off without another word! I was utterly bemused!

YANBU - either romance is dead or men are idiots!

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:56:31

I hope they have hoosps onthe menu.

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:58:12

The only pussy in this bed is lying on his chest purring and dribbling.

I miss my pussy

Primafacie Wed 01-May-13 23:07:26

I think you should kill him. Just in case.

WafflyVersatile Wed 01-May-13 23:10:30

Thurlow are you sure he didn't say he'd be disappointed in you if you died? 'you've let me down, you've let the kids down and worst of all you've let yourself down'.

inchoccyheaven Wed 01-May-13 23:15:21

I'm really sorry to derail such a serious thread but you have all made me chuckle out loud especially Waffly and Magrat. grin The cat is not amused that I disturbed her sleep.

SirBoobAlot Wed 01-May-13 23:29:30

LOL at Waffly. grin

Maghag Thu 02-May-13 02:06:02

The other night DH gave me such a withering look of contempt (after I forgot to lock the side gate on the house and suddenly at 9pm we had a guy in the back garden trying to deliver an indian take away - we have a weird address and live next to a block of flats) I suddenly realised what his ex-wife must have gone through in the years leading up to their nasty divorce.

I thought fuck 'im and went to bed. He asked me in the morning if I was still not talking to him which of course I wasn't. He apologised but suddenly I've seen him in a whole new light.

I'd say romance is over rated.

Thurlow Thu 02-May-13 07:37:07

grin Waffly

It felt as though he has just put so much damned work in to me, it would be such an arse to go through it all again...

cozietoesie Thu 02-May-13 07:47:58

I still can't stop chortling over the 'disappointed'. I mean - I'm sorry if that's heartless of me and all Thurlow but really..................!

grin

EggsMichelle Thu 02-May-13 07:59:18

Romance does not appear to be dead in my neighbours house, we can hear their romance through the walls!

MsVestibule Thu 02-May-13 08:34:53

Ah, Maghag sad. It's probably fair to say that when you start to feel empathy for his ex-wife that all is not well. Hope he doesn't do it again, and your disillusionment (if that's the right word) doesn't get worse.

SirBoobAlot Thu 02-May-13 09:02:42

Maghag sad flowers

Yes... Romance over rated.

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