Romance is dead. Dead as a very dead thing.

[AtYourCervix]

H. Going to bed.

Me: Kiss me. You never kiss me needy and demanding Occasionally even I need a bit if affection.

H: I let you cut my toenails earlier.

[sob]

[Annunziata]

Leave the bastard.

I kicked mine out of bed last night because I'm perimenopausal and hotter than the devil in hell himself.

[AtYourCervix]

I bet the queen doesn't have to put up with that sort of shit.

[Annunziata]

The toenails or the lack of affection?

[AtYourCervix]

And I swear his nasty bent toenails grow at a freakily accelerated rate. And his toes are all stiff and tense.

Ew. [shudder]

[SoleSource]

Snog the pillow or take a toyboy to bed and do sex next to him.

[AtYourCervix]

I don't think he'd even notice sole.

[headlesslambrini]

He will be asking you to pluck his eyebrows soon.

[Dawndonna]

Annunziata A hot water bottle filled with cold water helps.

As for your dh AtYourCervix demand that he does your toe nails in return!

[Annunziata]

Nah, you must really love him if you cut his toenails.

I'll try that, Dawndonna, thank you.

[AtYourCervix]

I couldn't have anyone touching my feet. Ew.

An occasional pat or handshake would be nice.

[AtYourCervix]

I am very fond of him.

[SoleSource]

Ok

we need a plan..

Calling Team Mumsnet ...

[Chewmebush]

Deep heat in his pants

[MsVestibule]

He lets you cut his toenails and you say romance isn't dead? Jeez, some women are, like, so demanding .

Just out of interest, how long have you been together?

[Thurlow]

The other day mine made the most romantic comment ever. Sadly I posted this on a then-deleted thread, because it was awesome.

Thread was to do with loving your children or your husband more. I mentioned thread to DP. He agreed that obviously losing DD would be worse. He followed this with the comment - "obviously I'd be disappointed if you died..."

Romance is not dead, I tell you.

[AtYourCervix]

18 years. Next week. DD1 was 17 last month. Work that one out

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

My husband farted in front of me for the first time in our entire (15 years so far) marriage the other day.

Beginning of the end, I tell you.

[AtYourCervix]

Thurlow - you've given my hiccups with thst gem.

[ExitPursuedByABear]

Disappointed !

[WorrySighWorrySigh]

DH doesnt fart in front of me but we do seem to be plagued by a very windy cat. In fact all the cats we have had have been windy. Before the cats the gerbils were windy.

[Cailinsalach]

I read an article in the Grauniad once about keeping romance alive in a marriage. I followed their advice by:

Smiling at my DP

Saying things like " I love to wake up and see your face next to mine on the pillow"

Putting an effort into meals, not just egg and oven chips every night. Sometimes I made spam fritters.

Wore sexy underwear or even no underwear.

It worked. I broke him. He confessed to having an affair and left me for his teenage girlfriend. ( the aforementioned underwear was older than her)

Fuck romance.

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

Are you sure about that? It's not your husband saying cor, can you smell that, the 'gerbil' farted again...

[BadgersNadgers]

Does he let you keep the clippings in a box? Does he love you that much?

I'd rather stick a hedgehog up my bum than touch DH's furry, gryphon claws.

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

sorry to read that, cailin.

[AtYourCervix]

Still hic-ing

callin. I suspect he's too lazy to have another. I know I am.