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Romance is dead. Dead as a very dead thing.

(85 Posts)
AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 21:58:47

H. Going to bed.

Me: Kiss me. You never kiss me needy and demanding Occasionally even I need a bit if affection.

H: I let you cut my toenails earlier.

[sob]

Annunziata Wed 01-May-13 22:00:19

Leave the bastard.

I kicked mine out of bed last night because I'm perimenopausal and hotter than the devil in hell himself.

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:02:32

I bet the queen doesn't have to put up with that sort of shit.

Annunziata Wed 01-May-13 22:04:03

The toenails or the lack of affection?

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:04:31

And I swear his nasty bent toenails grow at a freakily accelerated rate. And his toes are all stiff and tense.

Ew. [shudder]

SoleSource Wed 01-May-13 22:05:09

Snog the pillow or take a toyboy to bed and do sex next to him.

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:06:04

I don't think he'd even notice sole.

headlesslambrini Wed 01-May-13 22:06:14

He will be asking you to pluck his eyebrows soon.

Dawndonna Wed 01-May-13 22:06:40

Annunziata A hot water bottle filled with cold water helps.

As for your dh AtYourCervix demand that he does your toe nails in return!

Annunziata Wed 01-May-13 22:09:42

Nah, you must really love him if you cut his toenails.

I'll try that, Dawndonna, thank you.

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:10:17

I couldn't have anyone touching my feet. Ew.

An occasional pat or handshake would be nice.

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:10:58

I am very fond of him.

SoleSource Wed 01-May-13 22:12:13

Ok

we need a plan..

Calling Team Mumsnet ...

Chewmebush Wed 01-May-13 22:12:18

Deep heat in his pants smile

MsVestibule Wed 01-May-13 22:12:54

He lets you cut his toenails and you say romance isn't dead? Jeez, some women are, like, so demanding hmm.

Just out of interest, how long have you been together?

Thurlow Wed 01-May-13 22:13:42

The other day mine made the most romantic comment ever. Sadly I posted this on a then-deleted thread, because it was awesome.

Thread was to do with loving your children or your husband more. I mentioned thread to DP. He agreed that obviously losing DD would be worse. He followed this with the comment - "obviously I'd be disappointed if you died..."

Romance is not dead, I tell you.

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:14:35

18 years. Next week. DD1 was 17 last month. Work that one out blush

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 01-May-13 22:15:25

My husband farted in front of me for the first time in our entire (15 years so far) marriage the other day.

Beginning of the end, I tell you.

AtYourCervix Wed 01-May-13 22:16:51

Thurlow - you've given my hiccups with thst gem.

Disappointed !

WorrySighWorrySigh Wed 01-May-13 22:24:09

DH doesnt fart in front of me but we do seem to be plagued by a very windy cat. In fact all the cats we have had have been windy. Before the cats the gerbils were windy.

Cailinsalach Wed 01-May-13 22:25:22

I read an article in the Grauniad once about keeping romance alive in a marriage. I followed their advice by:

Smiling at my DP

Saying things like " I love to wake up and see your face next to mine on the pillow"

Putting an effort into meals, not just egg and oven chips every night. Sometimes I made spam fritters.

Wore sexy underwear or even no underwear.

It worked. I broke him. He confessed to having an affair and left me for his teenage girlfriend. ( the aforementioned underwear was older than her)

Fuck romance.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 01-May-13 22:25:37

Are you sure about that? It's not your husband saying cor, can you smell that, the 'gerbil' farted again...

grin

Does he let you keep the clippings in a box? Does he love you that much?

I'd rather stick a hedgehog up my bum than touch DH's furry, gryphon claws.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 01-May-13 22:26:14

sorry to read that, cailin.

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