Bit of a slagging match at toddlers today Aibu?

(84 Posts)
D0GWithAYoni Tue 30-Apr-13 19:23:52

I actually posted about this group of people a while back when they pushed my ds over. This time it was a different mum, same group. They all come to this (what used to be a lovely toddler group) together. They are all quite young, but very childish young iyswim (I am/ was teen parent) so not judging on age simply behaviour.

My dc had the push along buggy but was at the front of it rearranging doll, child comes along tried to push away from the front, my ds then tried to pull it back and did so, other child starts screaming this awful high pitched scream. I knew ds wasn't in the wrong but asked him to share and let other child take it which he did with minimum fuss. The other child then sat in the corner with it for over ten mins refusing to move with it. He eventually let's go and my ds went and went to take it, other child kicks off and screams and the parents say something to my ds who then stands there face covered which generally means he's been told off.

I walked up to my ds "baby dog, what's the matter?" they instantly jump in with, he snatched it off oc" I know he didn't, pick him up big cuddle "it's ok baby dog some children aren't very good at sharing" to which mother kicks off "don't pick on him he's only 2" so I reply so is my ds and at two they need to be taught to share. The mother comes back with, I was feeding (quite old baby, 10 ish months) a bottle I can't do anything" well actually I've been there done that 4 dc 5 and under and had to breast feed whilst following smacksytoddler around, she could have passed to someone else to give a bottle. She then goes on about my ds hit hers about 7 months ago. Blah blah blah I then ignored and mutated rude words under breath and she then went and cried at toddler group leaver who had spoken to other leader who saw whole thing and said I'd done nothing wrong. They then spent the rest of the hour glaring at me and whispering about me.

I'm even embarrsed typing this it's all so juvenile sounding but I'm not bu am I?!

D0GWithAYoni Wed 01-May-13 07:58:57

Is that a dig at me Valium? I am truly not awful I was just seriously pissed off by this point at her total lack of interest.

I will definitely ignore in future. But I'm not going to stop going.

<<waves at Tea smile>>

D0GWithAYoni Wed 01-May-13 07:59:57

Also it's interesting on mn who you can't simply say someone is awful without being called smug or judgey. Some people are dicks, they just are.

I reckon that child was used to getting his own way if he screamed enough wink

Hate, hate, hate toddler groups. Wish I hadn't wasted so much time going to them, but I was desperately lonely.

The only thing they do that's positive is toughen you up for the real war ground - the school gates.

Good luck op. Do what feels right for you and little dog.

D0GWithAYoni Wed 01-May-13 08:13:58

Actually dontstep, I think you're right I was a bit hmm the previous week when at home time he screamed having buggy taken away so his mum asked if he could take it home and bring it back the following week!

Are they really that bad? Going to my first toddler group next week with DS. Are they all cliquey and judgey?

OP I wouldn't say you're unreasonable, though braver than me. I don't do confrontation. I'd have led him away from the toy and ignored the screaming child, and the screaming child's mother.

Lurkymclurker Wed 01-May-13 08:25:48

For the record I go to 3/4 toddler groups a week and love them smile it's horses for courses, DD gets access to toys/crafts that we don't have and gets to socialise and learn behaviour etc, I don't go for me but have found some nice people to talk to and some not so nice to avoid.

In your situation I think I would have done the same, but maybe this week I would approach the mum and say something along the lines of how it's water under the bridge and you hope the boys will play together.

Don't stop going, I'm sure if you have been there 3 years you have seen no end of parents come and go, you never know, they might get bored soon wink

GlassofRose Wed 01-May-13 08:36:35

I'm with dontstep on this... I reckon screaming is the kiddos usual tactic and mum gives in for easy life.

I reckon you carry on going, ignore the twunt.

valiumredhead Wed 01-May-13 08:42:55

Why would you think it was a dig at you OP?

MrsBucketxx Wed 01-May-13 08:48:57

I go to two a week and its more for dd than me,

there is one mum I can't stand but I avoid her, I only have to see her and I get all stabby.

D0GWithAYoni Wed 01-May-13 08:53:56

I thought you were staying I needed to learn social skills Valium.

Kirjava, there are some lovely groups, I despite this dick love my toddler group, the mums who run it are just lovely lovely people. There are also lots of nice normal mums who go too.

valiumredhead Wed 01-May-13 08:54:37

No I wasn't.

D0GWithAYoni Wed 01-May-13 09:02:20

Ah ok smile. No need to take it outside then?! grin

valiumredhead Wed 01-May-13 09:08:59

Not on this occasion wink

D0GWithAYoni Wed 01-May-13 09:10:38

Phew.

FrenchJunebug Wed 01-May-13 09:14:20

you call your kid "baby dog"?!

anklebitersmum Wed 01-May-13 09:25:58

Toddler group <SHUDDER>

YA a little BU for being at a toddler group and not expecting the Spoilt Brat Brigade to play you up at some point. Says it all that Mummy went crying to the teacher.

I've seen this type in action, all puff and snide comments until someone says something and then they crumble in to a snivelling, sobbing, gasping wreck for an audience-usually whilst sneakily casting smug looks over the 'authority figure's' shoulder.

As someone said earlier these types are often found on the school playground where they continue to reign supreme-usually from the safety of the PTA.

YANBU. So ignore, ignore, ignore.

Failing that organise a bake sale & 'accidently' throw a pointy flapjack at her grin

D0GWithAYoni Wed 01-May-13 09:32:17

No French of course not I call him by his name but not on here.

choccyp1g Wed 01-May-13 09:36:49

FrenchJunebugWed 01-May-13 09:14:20 you call your kid "baby dog"?!

It's a mumsnet thing, like yours would be referred to as "Babybug" mine would be "Choccypiglet". not to their faces though.

choccyp1g Wed 01-May-13 09:37:43

Could be worse, you might have called him "littleYoni" grin

ryanboy Wed 01-May-13 09:44:49

YABU Don't get so involved with the rights and wrongs of a dispute between 2 toddlers!!
1)These are 2 year olds. They don't share, they hit , they scream.That is not bad parenting that is being a 2 yr old!!
2) When you have another child to look after, you are going to take your eye off the other child(ren) and will sometimes miss something
3)You should not have taken the buggy away from your DS and given it to the other child, and similarly you should not have let your DS take the buggy from the other child ,the second they let go of it.
4)Main one.You should not have talked to the other mum through your child.That was downright rude.Why didn't you just say with a smile 'OK but baby dog' has been waiting for it for 10 minutes , coulkd you let him have it when OC has finished, and then tajkke your DC to play with something else

anklebitersmum Wed 01-May-13 10:05:15

I always found it amazing that these Mothers are never looking when their child is screaming and snatching and upsetting someone else but always manage to drag their eyes to them when there's even the slightest chance of an issue being deemed another child's fault. hmm

D0GWithAYoni Wed 01-May-13 10:07:42

grin at little yoni.

2) When you have another child to look after, you are going to take your eye off the other child(ren) and will sometimes miss something

I'm well aware of that, I also take two dc to toddlers and used to take 3. Of course you sometimes miss something. That's totally understandable and forgiveable. What isn't is sitting with a mobile baby held on your lap the entire session, and using that as an excuse not to move or discipline, it's no wonder the child screams. At one point he kept doing these blood curdling screams. She stood from other side of room and bellowed for him to come to her because they were going home and over whilst the child kept screaming. When eventually he did she sat texting on her phone and ignoring him. She's a dick.

D0GWithAYoni Wed 01-May-13 10:10:24

I'm also well aware two year old hit and scream and its norma im actually qualified kn child developmentl. What isn't normal is to not model good behaviour back.

ryanboy Wed 01-May-13 10:15:16

I really wouldn't have taken the toy that your DS was playing with away from him.Giving up something the instant another child wants it isn't really what sharing is about, and you and he are both going to get frustrated when other family's don't reciprocate.

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