I KNOW i'm not being unreasonable. Just posting here to check. . .

(36 Posts)
TheCunnyFunt Tue 30-Apr-13 18:12:49

I apologise in advance, as this is yet another in laws thread.

DP wants us all to go on holiday with his mum and 2 younger brothers (17 & 20). I don't know what to say. I went on holiday with them when I was 17, 2 weeks of hell in a caravan in Cornwall. I also moved in with them 9 months after the holiday, lived with them for 10 months!! I get on ok with MIL until we live together like that, we're just so different it makes it very difficult to get on after 24 hours.

She's so clean and efficient and I'm just a slattern! She cleans constantly, I'm a late riser in the mornings and when I lived with them I'd get up around 9 and find that tea for that night had already been cooked and was sat on the hob cooling down. She never stops and she gets mad at me for not cleaning enough in my own home.

I just can't go on holiday with them. If it were a hotel then I would. I'd be there like a shot! But the 2 options are a static caravan in Cornwall, or a Villa in Spain. I just don't see how going away to cook and clean can be a holiday either! And we have a toddler now, DD will be 2 when the holiday is taking place.

The BILs are always fighting too, not play fighting, actual fighting! MIL has a scar on her forearm where she waded in the middle of one of their fights last year to break it up. The 20yo is a twat, he will kick off at the slightest thing if he doesn't get what he wants right there and then. He recently caused a few hundred pounds worth of damage by smashing MILs kitchen sink because the clutch went on his car when FIL was driving it.

I'm not being unreasonable am I? Please say I'm not!

What quote said.

I like my in laws and get on well with them but going on holiday with them was a miserable experience. I can't imagine doing it again let alone putting myself and a child into a potentially violent situation

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Tue 30-Apr-13 22:59:10

What Quote said. grin

oohaveabanana Tue 30-Apr-13 22:52:23

What quote said. With bells on.

thezebrawearspurple Tue 30-Apr-13 22:48:41

yanbu, sounds like a nightmare, keep saying no.

cheesesarnie Tue 30-Apr-13 22:43:30

holiday with two violent men and a lady that you do not like v no holiday?

no holiday imo! it's not a holiday!

Andro Tue 30-Apr-13 22:37:36

TheCunnyFunt - does he have any concerns about you and his DD being around a volatile, violent adult?

DontmindifIdo Tue 30-Apr-13 21:44:32

It's got to be a no. There's no way you can call that a holiday.

TheCunnyFunt Tue 30-Apr-13 21:02:34

No, we wouldn't be able to afford it sad if we could afford it we would!

Is there any way that you can have a caravan on the same site but not share one? Your own space but still lots of contact (and a babysitter grin) There is no way that I could share a caravan with any of my own family or in-laws, and I get on very well with my own family at least. I need my own space and my children (and theirs) need their own routines.

singingsoprano Tue 30-Apr-13 19:35:58

What Quote said smile

TheCunnyFunt Tue 30-Apr-13 19:10:01

He thinks it's a good idea because he doesn't remember the hell it was going on holiday with them and me living with them all. He knows what they can be like, but as far as he's concerned it's better than no holiday at all!

TheCunnyFunt Tue 30-Apr-13 19:03:23

It's more like 8 nowadays sad occasionally get 9 though! DD wakes up around 7, sometimes she'll happily play in her cot until 8ish, sometimes she'll go back to sleep around 7.30 for an hour or so, and sometimes she'll just stand in her cot and yell so I'll bring her into our bed, stick Cbeebies on and have another half hour of light snoozing grin

Jengnr Tue 30-Apr-13 19:02:54

More to the point, why does your husband think it's a good idea?

TheseFoolishThings Tue 30-Apr-13 18:59:25

What are the odds of you being able to get through to DH just exactly how much of a bad idea this is? Does he get how you feel about it? Or is he dead set no matter what?

DontmindifIdo Tue 30-Apr-13 18:56:00

don't go.

You can use the excuse of them being violent round a child to be your excuse.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 30-Apr-13 18:52:17

YANBU but tell me...how on earth do you get up at 9.00am when you've a baby?

YANBU, sounds like hell on earth.

NO is a complete sentence.

Dollylucy Tue 30-Apr-13 18:47:13

It's great when you go on a villa holiday with someone that likes to clean and do the cooking. They are the only negatives about a villa holiday I think
NOt sure about the violent brothers though?

SofaKing Tue 30-Apr-13 18:46:58

Don't go. I've committed to a week in neighbouring caravans with my in laws and I am already regretting it. Mil is demanding we send her a shopping list NOW of things we might need, as we are getting the train and they are driving. It is helpful to offer, but does she need to know 8 weeks in advance? She has literally mentioned it every time she has phoned.

Alcohol will be top of the list when I get round to composing the bloody thing.

WandaDoff Tue 30-Apr-13 18:45:07

I agree with quote too.

TheCunnyFunt Tue 30-Apr-13 18:44:11

Quote your post wasn't very clear, was that a yes or a no? wink grin

TheCunnyFunt Tue 30-Apr-13 18:41:46

Forgot to add, this will be our only chance of a holiday this year, it'll cost us money but if we chip in with this one it won't be as much as if we were going alone.

ChaoticTranquility Tue 30-Apr-13 18:40:40

What quote said grin

CaptainSweatPants Tue 30-Apr-13 18:37:30

Go to Spain
Get an adjacent villa for the 3 of you
Lie by the pool while mil cleans & cooks & looks after dd

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Tue 30-Apr-13 18:35:32

I agree with quote.

very well said indeed, quote grin

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