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Probably. ILs are being a massive PITA about car they're giving us.

(125 Posts)
AudreyParker Sun 28-Apr-13 19:01:45

I KNOW I'm being a brat. I love my ILs but they FUSS and faff about things.

FIL has decided not to renew his driving licence so they have very generously given us their car as a second runaround, the car is worth about £300 and they wou;dn't take any money for it, we are very grateful.

But we haven't had a chance to go and pick it up yet and it's now been on their drive for a week. FIL is going out daily and driving it up and down the drive to keep it ticking over confused.

MIL has been on the phone every night this week asking us when we can come and get it. We both work full time, and every evening this week has been busy (cubs, gymnastics, riding, music lessons, we have three DC). We have been out all weekend as it was DD's birthday.

They wanted us to go round to sign the logbook because they thought (and took a lot of convincing otherwise) that they needed to send that off and we needed to wait for it to come back before we drove away.

They are now panicking that we need to come and get it because they aren't insured on it anymore so they are on about SORNing it. They will not listen to me telling them that I can phone first thing and insure it and that it doesn't need SORNing as it still has tax and has been off the road for less than two weeks.

FIL keeps telling DH that he must make sure to run it every day otherwise the brakes will seize up. TBH he will probably only drive it twice a month, we've managed this long with one car.

They also keep saying that DH can drive to work so SIL can have her car during the day. BIL picks DH up as he passes (they work together), if DH picked BIL up he'd have to leave the house at 7am and go in the wrong direction. They offered SIL the car but she said she coudlnt' afford to run/insure it so declined.

I am really starting to wish we;d said thanks but no thanks.

DH has just gone over there to sign the logbook, it's the end of a very long weekend and I was looking forward to snuggling down and watching a film. they wanted us both to go over to theirs and get the car now but DS2 is in bed.

This is going to be a nightmare, isn't it? FIL has treasured that car for the last 18 years, they are going to be on our case about it forever.

AIBU?

<small sob>

peeriebear Sun 28-Apr-13 19:03:20

Torch the car! On their drive.

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 28-Apr-13 19:06:57

Wise up. Just go and get the bloody car, they are probably just old and fretting and you are adding to their stress.

AudreyParker Sun 28-Apr-13 19:08:41

Tempting. Although maybe a slight overreaction.

I just can't help feeling if they are being this high maintenance about it now, what are they going to be like when we own the bloody thing?

They are the kind of parents who helpfully point out DIY jobs that need doing. I can just imagine the comments about needing to wash the car/run it up and down the drive (wtf) etc.

Oh god. It's going to be a whole thing.

Alwayscheerful Sun 28-Apr-13 19:09:18

They are quite correct, if the car is not insured it needs a SORN. This is a fairly new requirement, now cars without tax OR Insurance need a SORN.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 28-Apr-13 19:11:01

The driving the car every day made me think: "bless"

I think you have to nod politely through gritted teeth. Humour them

AudreyParker Sun 28-Apr-13 19:11:29

We can't go and get the car until next monday, really.

We all need to go so we can drive both cars home, and there is literally not a spare moment with us both around until then, I'm away this weekend and the week is fully booked as usual.

We have explained this.

I'll insure it tomorrow to stop them worrying about having to SORN it, but FIL will still be out there driving it up and down to stop it seizing up.

sad

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 28-Apr-13 19:11:42

Yes Audrey,. I remember that now

AudreyParker Sun 28-Apr-13 19:11:56

No, Alwayscheerful, you have two weeks grace. It's only been a week.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 28-Apr-13 19:12:34

Can you not forgo one sodding activity?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 28-Apr-13 19:13:29

All parents point out DIY jobs. You probably will....

Pixel Sun 28-Apr-13 19:13:35

Ah, poor things. It must be a big thing giving up your licence, I assume it's because of his age/health? Not only is he losing a lot of independence and having to admit to himself he's getting older, but you say the car was their pride and joy for a long time.
I expect now they've made the decision they just want to get it over with and not drag out the torment.

Alwayscheerful Sun 28-Apr-13 19:13:51

I stand corrected, sorry I did not realise it applied to insurance too.

janey68 Sun 28-Apr-13 19:14:02

If you're only going to use the car a couple of times a month, is it really going to be worth all this hassle? You've managed this long with one car. All sound like a lot of pain for not much gain

MinnesotaNice Sun 28-Apr-13 19:14:08

PFB car? grin

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 28-Apr-13 19:14:50

I would either just skip one activity or go after and keep the children up a bit later if it meant less stress fit elderly parents.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 28-Apr-13 19:15:27

Pixel

You are right. It's about more than a car, or money

cocolepew United States Sun 28-Apr-13 19:16:58

I wouldn't bother taking it. Taxing and insuring a car only going to be used twice a month sounds like a waste of money.

You do know they will be round checking it's being kept clean and telling you to take it to the same garage they have always used? grin

IDoTakeTwo Sun 28-Apr-13 19:17:14

I think you need to recognise that

A giving up driving is a step close to death for your FIL
B he learned to drive and maintain a car in a different era where those thoughts were part of sensible maintenance.

Pull your finger out and effectively rip of the band aid.

ShatnersBassoon Sun 28-Apr-13 19:17:27

Go and get it now. How far away are they?

Grammaticus Sun 28-Apr-13 19:17:42

Oh god just go and get the car you are being unkind.

TheseFoolishThings Sun 28-Apr-13 19:19:13

Really honestly? You should have made room in your frantic schedule to graciously accept and remove the car from them. Either that or politely declined it.

phantomnamechanger Sun 28-Apr-13 19:19:24

is it worth insuring & taxing it, if you are going to use it so little? Sounds like they are palming off their offcasts on you TBH and then will expect you to do as they say/advise - oh, and be eternally grateful too!

I wouldn't go near it with a bargepole!

Pixel Sun 28-Apr-13 19:19:41

MIL is probably ringing every day because she sees FIL out on the drive and knows he's upset (but covering it up by being 'practical').

AudreyParker Sun 28-Apr-13 19:20:28

Pixel, you are absolutely right. And I'm not being bratty about it in real life, I promise. I'm just all aaaargh about it inside.

Honestly, this week and last week have been a mare, DS1 is at Cubs and Scouts for a few weeks so that's an extra evening that we're in and out, and there have been extra things at school and DD's birthday and DH has had band rehearsals and it's just been a whole pain. And next weeks even worse.

And I'm just exhausted and I KNOW they're jsut stressing buit they do this thing (DH does it too) where they stress about nonsense things that they've heard (like I couldn't buy my car from such and such garage because one person they know bought a bad car there fifteen years ago, and we can't look at new build houses because one of their friends had one and it was TINY and we can't use credit cards in the petrol station because someone they heard of had their card cloned once....)

And they dont' listen to reason and they think I'm really flighty and careless because i don't follow the rules. They are lovely. But Hard Work.

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