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To be totally fed up ... No wedding dress 4 weeks before big day.

(93 Posts)

My wedding dress was being made by a friend who is a professional dressmaker, She offered to make it as a wedding present, I didn't ask her as I know she can be a bit flaky but was grateful as she is fab and said I would pay her as it was too much for a gift. Anyway we had a bit of a fall out over another issue and now shes not returning calls, even to let me know if shes still making it or not. I've had several fittings.
WWYD should I take it that I now have no frock, 4 weeks before the wedding and get my ass to BHS to buy a last minute number or wait a bit longer hoping she'll start being more communicative and risk schlepping down the aisle in my onesie with posh hair, make up, shoes, flowers and Jewellery.
I have already apologised even though it was definitely a six of one half a dozen of the other thing- and the row was about politics ffs so not a personal thing.
Right now I am feeling totally stressed with the whole situation, I suffer from depression and anxiety to start off with and am on medication for that. I'm not sleeping. I want to get the situation back under my control but feel like I'm slowly slipping again. WWYD?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Tue 30-Apr-13 16:43:44

I'm glad she's doing it - would a shame not to as she's started it. Would also be a shame to throw away a good friendship over politics.

On a practical note I would order a dress say from Monsoon as a back up. As long as you keep the labels on it you'll have 28 days to return it. So if she does go flakey on you you've got a back up but you won't be out of pocket.

Mumsnet Massive in da house <sucks teeth> innit. That took it out of me, too many years away from South Laandon.

Good news on the dress. I think the charity shop back-up is an excellent idea. BTW after defriending you on FB, there is no way in the world she thought she had contacted you and forgot.

Good news Beanz, think the idea of a back up dress is a good one.

Getting late to the party,

But I'm in Bolton and have a dress you could use as a back up? I'm 5'4 and it was tea length. I can't find a picture of it on my phone, but if you need it/want a picture I can sort that out. I orgnaised my wedding in 4 weeks, and the dress was lovely.

sashh Tue 30-Apr-13 04:24:03

Glad it's turning out well, have a fantastic day.

Hiya sorry to me out of communication.
She's been intouch, today- I'm wondering if she's a mumsnetter and recognised her behaviour- several other mutual friends have also mysteriously been in touch and casually asked if she's been in touch. I think the arm may reach long grin
Any way she's doing it, no problems, she apparently thought she'd messaged me, DOH! hmm So all is seemingly rosie-however i'm taking the advise and going for a back up at weekend- probably the Wedding charity shop in Cheadle someone mentioned- so even if I just donate it back I can just view it as passing on a donation.
OH never needed to phone- I think the mumsnet massive, in the form of my friends sorted her out already.

Thank you so much ladies!! You are all amazing and a wonderful generous supportive group of Women. flowers

TheProw Mon 29-Apr-13 21:05:39

New York Bride in Eckington, Derbyshire. Says on website. 'Our stunning variety of Wedding Gowns are sourced from designers excess stock, ex-samples and end of ranges, and all gowns are available immediately'. I got my wedding dress from there, end of range designer, one of the more expensive ones at £400. Lots are £200-£300. Mine was beautiful.

IF she does insist on coming to your wedding you should wearca onesie then explain to everyone why you've no dress grin

Ruprekt Mon 29-Apr-13 20:47:40

any news OP?

nevergoogle Mon 29-Apr-13 15:50:50

Tell me you are uninviting her to the wedding! How on earth could she show her face! shock

KenAdams Mon 29-Apr-13 15:48:52

TK Maxx size 14 dresses loving the Hollywood Dreams

Monsoon

Flosshilde Mon 29-Apr-13 15:47:45

My friend organised her entire wedding in just 5 weeks and got a dress from one of the bridal shops in Altrincham. Think it was the one opposite the Town Hall. It was gorgeous.

I got mine from here. Don't be put off by the Alderley Edge location; they have dresses to suit all budgets. And they were lovely.

Good luck OP.

DontmindifIdo Mon 29-Apr-13 15:34:06

oh and don't return the shop one you pick until you have the dress from ex-friend in your possession and are confident it's not been ruined/deliberately made too short/too tight etc.

DontmindifIdo Mon 29-Apr-13 15:33:04

Just to point out as well, as it's less than 4 weeks to the wedding, most of these places you'd still be within you time to return a dress you bought from them, so I'd get one now, don't say anything to her, if she comes back to you in a decent time and you get the dress you really want, then fine with her, pay her for it and return the other one ASAP, if not, you have a back up dress.

I bet she'll be expecting frantic phonecalls and you begging her to finish the dress, you going radio silence, particularly if she's spent a lot of money on material you've not paid her for, will start to make her nervious... Right now she feels like she's in control. Another week without you acting the way she expects might make her reassess that...

ImNotCute Mon 29-Apr-13 14:55:11

I hope you get a lovely dress sorted out soon. My wedding dress was from debenhams at the Trafford centre, it took next to no time to get it sorted. The Trafford centre monsoon usually has some nice wedding dresses too.

ChaoticTranquility Mon 29-Apr-13 14:52:36

Go and buy a new dress and forget about this one. You can't trust this woman she's proven that by her spiteful and immature behaviour. Even if she did contact you and agree to make the dress you cannot trust her not to either pull the same stunt again if you have another argument. Personally I wouldn't trust her not to sabotage the dress either if she did make it.

anklebitersmum Mon 29-Apr-13 14:45:08

these

Fantastic service. Couldn't have been better and I had just given birth with no dress 4 weeks before too. Give them a ring? Manchester about an hr or so away & I kid you not if they can help they will.

I second and third telling her in writing that she has broken your contract by not being in contact. Then, the awesome, cheap, unique dress you find will be a 'funny' story for the wedding.

slug Mon 29-Apr-13 14:36:21
Shylepite Mon 29-Apr-13 12:49:26

What a cow! I think she will try to keep you hanging on for as long as possible so that she can enjoy the power and cause you lots of stress. I would just assume she's not doing it and make other arrangements, take back control and really piss her off! What size are you? I have a beautiful size 8 dress in storage which you are very welcome to smile

SarahAndFuck Mon 29-Apr-13 12:45:04

You definitely need to get another dress.

It doesn't sound like she's finishing yours.

The worst that can happen if you buy another dress now is that she does finish the first one and you will have the choice of two on your wedding day.

That's got to be better than not buying another one and going to your wedding in your pyjama's like the Vicar of Dibley.

And Manchester is probably one of the better places to be if you need to find something non-traditional but still lovely for a wedding in a hurry.

How on earth are your (ex) friend and her partner going to be at the wedding though? Surely they will be embarrassed, especially as she has made it pretty clear she's finished with you as a friend? She's behaving like a child, she's let your down over your wedding dress, she's not actually speaking to the bride, yet she still my come to the wedding itself as a guest? I'd be too embarrassed to show my face it that was me.

And I hope it won't affect your DH's friendship, but petty things have a way of blowing up and dragging everyone in.

Has he spoken to his friend about the dress yet?

MrsLettuce Mon 29-Apr-13 12:44:19

did you see this one?

Scheherezade Mon 29-Apr-13 12:44:03
SavoyCabbage Mon 29-Apr-13 12:33:23

I bet you end up with a fabulous dress. I got my dress just a couple of weeks before my wedding and I loved it. You'll find one you love too.

angelos02 Mon 29-Apr-13 12:33:12

She's not seriously going to turn up at your wedding having done this to you? shock

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