Baby shower

(30 Posts)
mrsjrob Sun 28-Apr-13 09:03:03

Hi today is my friends baby shower,I have never been to one so I wasn't sure what to buy ended up getting a baby blanket and clothes in a hamper type thing however last night I received a fb message from my friend with a list of a gifts she wants,cot, changing table,Moses basket etc and stated at the bottom "no clothes please" shock wibu to ignore this list and just give her what I have got.i can't really afford another present and everything on the list seems quite expensive and i happen to know that she is only having the shower because she doesn't have any money for baby equipment,which she has had 9 months to buy.thanks

IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat Sun 28-Apr-13 09:07:19

Give her what you have got, how rude and ungrateful. I would never expect anybody to buy me something like a cot or Moses basket! A blanket and some clothes sounds like a lovely present.

scaevola Sun 28-Apr-13 09:08:12

You'll have to ignore. It's too late to change anything as the shower is today.

Why is your friend sending own list? It's the job of the host, never the honouree, to discreetly co-ordinate gifts to avoid heaps of duplicates (better done in conversation than by list, as well).

Lolapink Sun 28-Apr-13 09:09:51

How cheeky is she! I think your present sounds lovely. Also how can she, expect these things. When she sent the list out last night for the baby shower today. Every one that is going has already probably bought there gift.

mrsjrob Sun 28-Apr-13 09:11:50

This was supposed to be a "surprise" shower which she found out about it says on fb msg she's fed up with people asking what she would like so sent a list.

Caitycat Sun 28-Apr-13 09:14:15

Absolutely give what you've got, as Lola said who's going to run out and buy a cot on a Sunday morning in response to a grabby fb message, even if they can afford it?

cleoowen Sun 28-Apr-13 09:15:43

I cannot believe people would expect someone to buy them a cot and changing table! I would feel ashamed if that was me. We had a baby recently and they can be up to 100 pounds and more. I would never expect that as a baby shower gift. Your present sounds lovely, take that to the party. Much more reasonable. I expect you ll find the other people give something similar.

BumpingFuglies Sun 28-Apr-13 09:18:53

I think baby showers are just grabby and your friend proves the point, surprise or not.

I wouldn't go, but give her the stuff when baby is born.

patchesmcp Sun 28-Apr-13 09:19:12

I'm in shock that someone can be so rude!

Is she normally this rude?

mrsjrob Sun 28-Apr-13 09:20:34

Thanks for replies I am relieved because I thought I had got it wrong.i have four kids of my own so I know how expensive it can be to buy stuff but I would never ask for anything let alone something expensive and both my friend and her partner work so she could've bought them herself

Wishiwasanheiress Sun 28-Apr-13 09:21:20

I'm astonished by Moses and what I'd deem stuff you have to buy yourself. I mean, will she put school shoes on birthday list when the child is older?! Some stuff is yours to purchase alone.

I'd have loved a blanket. You can never have enough. Also clothes. When I was childless I thought clothes a bad gift as you got so many but now I realise how useful they really are.

Do not feel bad IMO you have been very kind. A list is fine for a wedding but bad form on a baby.

mrsjrob Sun 28-Apr-13 09:24:57

Yes she's rude but not normally grabby,I know her sister,who organised the shower is not ashamed to ask for things and is encouraging my friend to ask for things

cogitosum Sun 28-Apr-13 09:27:34

That's disgusting. I'm always shocked at these sorts of threads that people like this exist.

I had a baby shower last weekend organised by my sisters. I specifically said I only wanted it for fun and to see lots of friends before the birth not the gifts but loads of people got presents and I was a bit tearful I was so overwhelmed by everyone's generosity (hormones!) it would never have crossed my mind to stipulate in advance what I wanted.

IMO it's our responsibility to buy the things we need (crib, changing table etc) and if people are kind enough to buy extras like nice clothes and blankets then that is absolutely lovely of them.

ENormaSnob Sun 28-Apr-13 09:39:24

I'd tell her to stick her shower up her ricker.

Cheeky bastard.

scaevola Sun 28-Apr-13 09:42:15

If it's a shower, then of course guests will bring gifts as that's what 'shower' means ("shower with gifts"). If you just want a nice party before the birth, call it something else.

LittleBearPad Sun 28-Apr-13 09:43:30

Love the fact 'she's fed up with people asking what they can give her'. It's so hard being offered presents!!

Cheeky cow

and as for asking for a cot shock

Yonionekanobe Sun 28-Apr-13 09:46:01

I'm afraid I wouldn't go and I'd take the gift back to the shop. Extraordinary behaviour!

lagoonhaze Sun 28-Apr-13 09:48:19

reply with thanks for the list but already have spent time choosing a gift which i hope you will like. If not feel free to regift it ir donate to womens refuge/charity

LittleBearPad Sun 28-Apr-13 09:58:18

Also if you are out to be so grabby as to have a list, sending it the night before is just stupid.

AlwaysWashing Sun 28-Apr-13 10:06:14

I'd FB her back and say "Oh dear, now you tell us", or something equally jokey and "I'm afraid you've got clothes from me!" and just leave it at that.

She does sound horribly grabby.

Baby showers are to make the Mum to be feel special and loved and give her a bit of a boost in those last few weeks when she's feeling fat and uncomfortable and thinking the (damn) baby will never come. Certainly that's what mine was like & the one we've just had for another of our group of Mums. Most of the gifts I received were clothes, blankets, toys & toiletries which were lovely. If someone had bought me a cot I'd have been mortified?!

Hope it goes well and it's not too awkward.

expatinscotland Sun 28-Apr-13 10:09:32

I'd tell her I'm not coming, something came up (like her grabbiness). Return the gift and spend the money on something else.

Cheeky, grabby cow. She really thinks someone going to buy her a fecking cot?!

Impatientwino Sun 28-Apr-13 10:11:03

How ungrateful! It's a lovely sunny day so I would feign illness, blow off the shower and take your kids out to the park or something instead smile

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Sun 28-Apr-13 10:12:51

Completely agree with everyone saying that you should take what you've got already. I cannot believe she's actually asked for a cot! So cheeky! I guess the one saving grace is that because she has left it so late to send the list no one will realistically have bought anything off it. I imagine if she'd sent it a few weeks earlier some people may have felt obliged.

I like lagoon's idea for replying to her. Hopefully by mentioning donating them she might realise that she's been a bit grabby?

MortifiedAdams Sun 28-Apr-13 10:14:01

Id just take the blanket. Id say "I had you some beautiful clothes picked out too but saw on your message you dont want any clothes so will pass them onto someone who does"

PA much? Tough shit - she was rude.

mrsjrob Sun 28-Apr-13 10:21:39

Thanks again for the replies,I sent her a text explaining I thought her list was expensive and I had already bought a gift,she replied saying that it was a message for family who had agreed to buy an item each and it was sent to me accidently.not sure i believe it though.the shower is at 12 so she's getting what I got her and that's it.

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