I haven't heard from DDs best friends mum since I disciplined their ds.

(15 Posts)
MNBlackpoolandFylde Sat 27-Apr-13 22:36:15

Usually they see each other every other weekend. We take them out, she takes my dd out, she regulary texts/calls and we are as a result pretty friendly. Ds is usually fine but definately going through puberty at the moment and pushing boundaries as is my dd.

A few weeks back I took them out for the day, her ds was being a bit of a pain, sulking because he wanted to go to X which cost ££s and I had already paid for them go to Y as a treat which I already knew he had enjoyed before, he hit another child after losing his temper in a play venue because he was in a strop, he tried to take something he had not paid for from a shop and did not back down when I challenged him! He is 10 and a half.

I sat him down, told him I was not happy and I had paid a large amount to get them in X and he was sulking because we had not gone to Y and was taking it out on others and if it did not stop we would leave the venue and I would tell his mum. I did not shout, I was calm.

When his mum picked him up she asked how our day had been, I said it had been fine, they had had fun but that they had got a bit silly at one point and I had a chat with them and they had been fine and got on with it afterwards. (my own dd actually hadnt done anything for once but I did not want to go in saying actually he's been a pain.)

Mum has not called or text since nor replied to my text to her asking if he wanted to come out, I had previously told her that if dd played up while there she was to tell her off in same way she does her ds. I know she has told dd off in the past for being bossy one day with her ds because she told me she had blush not usual for dd who is usually quiet as a mouse at other peoples houses!

So WIBU to tell him off?

Jinsei Sat 27-Apr-13 22:39:56

Yanbu. Could the mother be embarrassed? Or could the DS have given her a different version of the story?

idiot55 Sat 27-Apr-13 22:41:47

phone her and sort it out, see what she says.

maybe its something else, going on in her life.

and No I dont think you were being unreasonalble at all to tell him off

LeaveTheBastid Sat 27-Apr-13 22:41:52

You already know you weren't smile she sounds as stroppy as her son. Maybe send a text telling her exactly what happened, her son may have beefed it up a bit once they got home. I'd personally leave her to it. If I had an issue with how somebody had treated my child I certainly wouldn't be childishly ignoring them.

WorraLiberty Sat 27-Apr-13 22:42:39

Yes phone her and talk about random stuff, then raise the subject.

Her DS could have told her another story.

MrsBombastic Sat 27-Apr-13 22:43:19

I agree with PP.

She is either embaressed or cross because her little darling has given her a different story.

I would let her get on with it, you can't force her to talk to you and she sounds as silly as her child.

If she does question you about it tell her exactly what happened, she can take it or leave it.

Jinsei Sat 27-Apr-13 22:44:35

She might just be busy!

quesadilla Sat 27-Apr-13 22:47:46

YANBU. Sounds to me as if her DS gave her a different account of what happened. Some kids can be embarrassed by having to be disciplined by someone else's mum and can massively exaggerate the telling off they got. I have done it and my mates's DS has done it to me. It sounds like your response was entirely appropriate, I think you handled it pretty diplomatically.
How close are you and this woman? I would give it another couple of days and - if you know her well enough - send a gentle "is everything ok?" text. If she is upset you should try to gently put your side of the story across. She may be embarrassed or awkward. Given that your dcs spend a lot of time together better to clear the air if you can...

MNBlackpoolandFylde Sat 27-Apr-13 22:48:15

She might just be busy however it is very unusual to not hear from her after a couple of days never mind a few weeks and she always answers her texts.

MyShoofly Sat 27-Apr-13 22:53:11

that is really unacceptable, serious behaviour from a 10 year old. YWNU to tell him to cut it out....you should have told his mum so she could have also addressed it IMO. I would certainly have wanted to know and would have been happy to have picked him up actually and ended his day early.

I bet her child has told her a completely different and horrible story of how awful you were to him and she bought it.

MyShoofly Sat 27-Apr-13 22:55:40

I thought from your post you were going to say the child was 3 or something....10 though!!!!! If she is not talking to you she's being very unreasonable and PFBish.

happyAvocado Sat 27-Apr-13 23:08:16

or is she on O2?
my texts weren't send this week for 2 days

MNBlackpoolandFylde Sat 27-Apr-13 23:08:36

I didnt make a huge deal of it because it was hours later when she picked him up from our house as she had been at work and it had passed. He had apologised and we had got on and enjoyed rest of day.

I just said we had done x and y and he had really enjoyed blah and they had had fun, she asked if he had been good and I said oh they had a bit of a play up but I had a chat and they got on with it as normal.

She usually texts to say thanks later same day, I am not bothered that she did not, just its not usual so wondered if she was offended.

Jan49 Sun 28-Apr-13 00:04:39

I think you really should have told her what he did. I mean, he hit a child and tried to steal something, that's not just slightly less than good behaviour, that's very bad. So now I think he's told her a different version and she's annoyed with you. Also the fact that you played down what happened when she asked you probably means his version is more believable. I think you need to phone and talk to her.

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