My first ever post but don't be gentle please - I need some honest opinions re: this situation as I think I'm just being petty. This is long and not a major, life shattering issue at all but it's bothering me and I respect the opinions (and honesty) of you fellow mumsnetters.
My DD is 20 months. She's been with her CM for about 9 months. The CM looks after her own DD and another little girl both aged approx 2.8 years old. I'll call the other little girl that my CM looks after 'Bella ' to make this easier to explain. Bella's parents are loaded. You know, talking about buying £1million yachts and £2million houses. We're not and neither is the CM but she's obviously impressed by this type of thing. CM and Bella's mum are very pally. I've no problem with that at all but I am slightly perplexed because Bella's mum tried to befriend me a while ago and then went completely cold towards me. I was always polite and relatively friendly with her but didn't jump at striking up a full on friendship with her as between work, my DD, other family and friends I just didn't have time. The three of us went out recently (me, CM and Bella's mum) and I have never felt so awkward in all my life - it was clear that Bella's mum felt I was intruding. It was the CM's idea to do this meet up and believe me, I won't be going to any others! Part of the reason I feel like this is that both the CM and Bella's mum are snotty re: clothes and stuff. Their kids are generally decked out in JoJo, Joules and designer stuff. My DD is in Primark, Matalan and Sainsburys most of the time, generally because I think spending a fortune on kids clothes is pointless when DD grows out of stuff in weeks and comes home covered in paint and food! When my DP and DD came to pick me up after the day out with the CM & Bella's mum, from what I saw, they both glanced at one another and then sneered at something my DD was wearing which yes, was a bit 'common'. They both made pointed comments about said item and I felt like the biggest scummy mummy in the world. Pathetic to be bothered, I know, but I was. I felt judged and more than that, I was upset that they were judging my DD. I'm probably being oversensitive but it bothered me. There have been other comments too in the past about my DD's cheap clothes.
Now, the issue I have is that 3 out of 5 days a week, the CM picks up my DD and takes her to Bella's mum's house to get Bella. BUT, the CM doesn't just pick up Bella and go, instead Bella's mum makes the CM a coffee and breakfast for the kids and they sit around having a chin wag for about an hour. I was never comfortable with this but I'm not one to make a fuss. Now though, I'm feeling increasingly uncomfortable with this and want it to stop. Partly as I feel I'm paying the CM to look after me DD, not sit around with her friend having a chat, and partly as I know that Bella's mum doesn't like me.
AIBU and petty? I think I probably am but I can't shake the feeling in the pit of my stomach that I don't want my DD in the house of someone who clearly doesn't like me 3 mornings out of 5 a week. It just feels weird.
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AIBU?
To feel uncomfortable about this situation re: my childminder
97 replies
Shizzy · 27/04/2013 15:25
OP posts:
ProphetOfDoom ·
27/04/2013 15:44
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ProphetOfDoom ·
27/04/2013 15:53
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