# Talk

## AIBU to go to the pub 30 metres away with a video monitor.

(304 Posts)
Thu 25-Apr-13 12:04:45

I live in a terrace of houses and ten doors down is a really nice pub that does great food. Would it be horribly irresponsible to leave the kids (8,4 and 2) home alone with a video (+audio) monitor watching the doors to the bedrooms, toilet and hallway? One of us could be home within one minute of seeing / hearing a child but in the mean time we could be sat having a couple of pints and a tasty meal with friends with a laptop/ipad on the table showing what's going on in the house.
I suspect this isn't ok and haven't suggested it to my wife yet but wanted to canvas opinions. You could get the kit to do this for ~ £100 which is what 4 baby sits would cost.

THERhubarb Sun 28-Apr-13 11:33:59

I think it's a perfectly manageable risk as a one-off.

So you wouldn't hear a smoke alarm through a baby monitor? Methinks you would. So you would get pissed and not have the monitor in front of you? Quite presumptive there, not everyone goes out to get hammered, some just want a nice quiet meal with a glass of wine.

As I said before, I take my ds to school and bring him back every day crossing quite a dangerous stretch of road. Now I do that crossing 4 times a day, 5 days a week which statistically increases my risk (and I have spoken to our local councillor about making the crossing safer).

If you leave the children home alone with a monitor whilst you have a meal just a few doors down as a one-off, statistically the risks are much less. My ds is more likely to be injured on our walk to school than he is at home on the one occasion we might leave him.

It's quite mathematical really. The risk lies only in peoples perception of it. You think it must be more dangerous to leave them with a monitor and so this increases the risk in your mind. Yet if you think of all the worst case scenarios and take measures to prevent them whilst mathematically calculating the risk, you'll find it is in fact quite safe.

I would not do it on a regular basis but if a couple did this as a one-off, so long as they did a proper risk assessment. I don't think it's anything to get hysterical about.

Iggi101 Sun 28-Apr-13 12:06:16

TheRhubarb they have no intention of doing it as a one-off, as monitor costs price of 4 nights babysitting.
So the maths changes a little. And if it works once, why not do it every week?

SpanishFly Sun 28-Apr-13 13:53:30

and most risk stems from something thats a necessity - ie the school run is a necessity, crossing a road is a necessity, etc etc. Leaving them unattended to get a meal and a couple of pints is not.

I still dont believe for one second that all eyes and ears would be glued to a monitor if out with friends in a pub.

THERhubarb Mon 29-Apr-13 10:54:14

We shall have to agree to differ there. I have done this and it has been on a few occasions and yes, the monitor was there in front of us and one of us would nip out every half hour just to check on them and make sure the other person could hear clearly on the monitor.

It depends what kind of parents you are, what kind of pub you will be in, etc. Lots of factors.

And no, crossing a road is not a necessity. I could drive him and we would be much safer, protected by a steel cage. I choose to walk him to school even though I know that some of the walk is a potential hazard. I do all I can to keep him out of harm's way however.

Not every choice we make is a necessity. It's not necessary to go out and leave them at all really is it? It's not strictly necessary to get a babysitter - after all why leave them with a family friend when stats show they are more likely be abused by someone within the family? If we are to be paranoid here let's analyse the risks shall we? Babysitters pose more of a threat than abduction.

We take unnecessary risks every day. I let my 2 now aged 12 and 9 to walk alone to the shop and back. That is a risk as they could be abducted or get run over. I could go myself but I choose to send them so they can learn independence. I also let them play in the field where they make dens in the scrubbery. They could have an accident here or find some needles (there is a crack addict who lives nearby) but I choose to allow them to roam around because again, it provides them with skills.

I choose to take time out with my husband at times because this is good for our relationship and if we are happy as a couple then I believe we make better parents.

I no longer have to worry about going out and leaving them at home alone, but I have done so about 9 or 10 times in their lifetimes. As I said, in France it's more acceptable than it is here. Perhaps they have a different attitude or are simply not as paranoid.

I think if a parent has gone to the extent of buying video monitoring equipment then they are the kind of parent who would eliminate as many risk factors as they can, who would also check on their children and who would put a great deal of thought into that decision. Asking on Mumsnet for advice is another sign of a conscientous parent.

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