To regret booking this holiday? (intense dread)

(112 Posts)
MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 24-Apr-13 12:41:46

Basically, we've booked up to go to Florida with some friends for 10 days in September. We booked it last September.

My friends have three DCs, 12, 7 and 3... and since we booked up, the three year old has become really horrible. I know it's bad form to slate kids off on MN but I find him really unbearable. He comes to my house quite often and trashes the place. Crisps stamped into carpets, drinks thrown around, pulling cat's tail, hitting me, hitting his mum, helping himself to food... I know that this could be typical toddler behaviour but my friends just let him do these things. No parenting, no discipline given. They'll happily sit and watch as I am on hands and knees picking up soggy cakes from under sofa or trying to get him to stop tormenting the cat.

I don't think that we are in for a relaxing ten days. I am starting to wish we'd never booked up. Is there a way we can get out of it? AIBU?

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 24-Apr-13 14:54:58

"down to graffiting '[mum's name] is a bitch' on their front wall."

Sorry that is awful but it did make me do a shocked guffaw shock grin What a rotter! Like a little David Platt with a spraycan!

ENormaSnob Wed 24-Apr-13 15:16:56

Can't you buy a taser gun in America?

ChairmanWow Wed 24-Apr-13 15:25:32

Like a little David Platt with a spraycan!. I just LOLed!

Twatkins whilst you have my deepest sympathies at what you have to face I am loving this thread. It's giving me a great place to vent about one of my pet hates. There are loads of lazy parents round here who are just too wet to challenge their hideous little darlings but hide behind middle class parenting bollocks about them being little people and having rights. Those rights being focused around hitting, answering back and generally getting on the rest of the world's tits. Boundaries please people. Better for all concerned, including your little precious.

<and relax>

FWIW OP been on loads more holidays with the family and had brilliant times. Their DC are fantastic now!!!

bigTillyMint Wed 24-Apr-13 15:28:13

I think the 10hour flight will be the least of your problemswink

Crinkle77 Wed 24-Apr-13 15:31:13

It's not really the child's fault if the parents have not disciplined him

magimedi Wed 24-Apr-13 15:34:06

This thread has made me laugh but seriously you are going to have to do/say something before September or you are just going to have a miserable time. You say that the mum is lovely & a good friend, if so why not just tell her (gently) that you & your DH find little 3yr old a little shit somewhat challenging with his tantrums etc & ask her what she is doing about it. Frankly, one way or the other I suspect that this could be the end of a friendship, either before or after the holiday.

mrsjay Wed 24-Apr-13 15:35:33

rent seperate(sp) cars if you dont pick up after the 3 yr old and do your own thing some days if they are going out stay at the villa or wherever by the pool to avoid spending every minute with them your own children will have a ball you wont notice the 3 yr old just do things alongside them and not with them ,

mrsjay Wed 24-Apr-13 15:36:09

if you can*

quoteunquote Wed 24-Apr-13 15:37:15

Up grade, so you do not arrive frazzled, at either end.

As suggested up thread, "We are doing this tomorrow, what are you doing?"

If you are heading to the same place, say "We will meet you there",

'Shall we meet for lunch,ring us when you start thinking about it" then everyone can then go at their own pace.

buy local pay as you sims, when they arrive (some hours later) then you can all meet up.

book a days air boating (find a decent company, that will show you the amazing bird and wildlife), no one silly enough to take a three year old on an air boat,

The parks you will be on different rides,

It will be hot, so he may nap in the afternoons,

Make sure you have separate hire cars,

the beaches are huge,

it's really cheap to eat out, cheaper than cooking at home, so hopefully by the time you are back in the evening he will be in bed, drink lots of wine, leave early in the morning so as to make the best of attractions, if you arrive at the parks really early you beat the traffic and get to park by the entrance not a mile away and have to get the transport.

make sure you discuss before you go, how you expect to be passing ships as obviously trying to do everything together will never work, and it would be unfair on them having to make a three year old keep up.

hopefully you will be able to sit and enjoy a glass of wine in the evening by the pool and swap stories.

take ear plugs, and eye masks, Florida architecture is usually generous, so you should't get disturbed in the mornings.

JaxTellerIsAllMine Wed 24-Apr-13 15:46:32

fab post by quote I might hire you for knowledge if I ever got to Florida. grin

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 24-Apr-13 15:55:14

"Can't you buy a taser gun in America?"

grin

Thanks for the helpful post, quote smile

Branleuse Wed 24-Apr-13 15:56:46

I think you need to book separate accommodation but nearby/ next door. More expensive but to go all the way to Florida and stay with them is a hell of a risk. it's crazy and you'll regret it.

just tell them you still want to go on holiday with them but you've decided that you'll need your own space too for the sake of the kids etc. best of both worlds and then don't back down

bigTillyMint Wed 24-Apr-13 15:57:23

I agree - great advice quote

Are you very good friends? I fell out with a friend I used to holiday with as her dd was a gigantic pain in the arse, and I wear my feelings writ large on my face.

He may have improved by September.

You have a couple of months to work on your death stare. And I agree, make sure they come round to yours a couple of times before the holiday so you can make your ground rules clear.

JenaiMorris Wed 24-Apr-13 16:09:25

Fellatio's beach toy tale is the most shocking thing I have EVER read on MN.

My face is literally shock

Marm, what are the older two like? What were they like when they were 3?

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 24-Apr-13 16:13:53

Jenai, they've always been, erm, challenging but they don't seem to have the dead-behind-the-eyes thing going on the the littlest does. I used to look after the middle one a fair bit and I could reason with him and get him to pick up mushed-up food without too much of a struggle. I actually like the eldest two, but yeah, they've always been a handful.

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 24-Apr-13 16:16:08

"Fellatio's beach toy tale is the most shocking thing I have EVER read on MN."

He sounds a shoe-in for a future Hitler...

Dubjackeen Wed 24-Apr-13 16:18:27

No real advice to offer that hasn't already been given. It may be worthwhile starting now to address his behaviour in your home, making it clear that you don't tolerate certain things. Maybe that would open your friend's eyes a little? The holiday could well be the end of your friendship unless ground rules are set down beforehand. Ten days of that would be very wearing indeed. I feel sorry for kids who aren't given boundaries. It really sets them up for a hard time when they move into a world where others don't tolerate bad behaviour, or find it entertaining, e.g. when they start school.
Best of luck OP. Hopefully he may have improved by September.

piratecat Wed 24-Apr-13 16:25:29

can you cancel it?

how old are your dc's?

can you get some sort of imaginary letter form the holiday company, saying they have over booked and placed you in different accomadation to your friends, or are you going SC? If you could change that, you could do it now and not tell them till the last min so they can't change to be with you.

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 24-Apr-13 16:27:47

We are going SC, in a privately-rented house sad

cantspel Wed 24-Apr-13 16:28:18

Tell the mum a few home truths about how awful her precious child is. You will then have a giant falling out and she will cancel the holiday herself.

Win Win situation as not only will you get out of the holiday but he wont be around to trash your house any more.

Toasttoppers Wed 24-Apr-13 17:09:43

Get a cattle prod.

Actually best not, I am quite amazed that people go on hols with friends. I am a curmudgeon so have never even contemplated it though people have asked me. I am perfectly good company for an afternoon or evening.

BellaVita Wed 24-Apr-13 17:17:34

On dear Marmalade sc in a private house sad no escape at all then...

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