ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
To regret booking this holiday? (intense dread)(112 Posts)
Basically, we've booked up to go to Florida with some friends for 10 days in September. We booked it last September.
My friends have three DCs, 12, 7 and 3... and since we booked up, the three year old has become really horrible. I know it's bad form to slate kids off on MN but I find him really unbearable. He comes to my house quite often and trashes the place. Crisps stamped into carpets, drinks thrown around, pulling cat's tail, hitting me, hitting his mum, helping himself to food... I know that this could be typical toddler behaviour but my friends just let him do these things. No parenting, no discipline given. They'll happily sit and watch as I am on hands and knees picking up soggy cakes from under sofa or trying to get him to stop tormenting the cat.
I don't think that we are in for a relaxing ten days. I am starting to wish we'd never booked up. Is there a way we can get out of it? AIBU?
Gerrof, you are being very helpful.
I know, I know September is a way off, time to reset his batteries but no-one is doing any resetting! Harumph.
Yes Cocacola, I am planning on being in a gin-induced coma for much of the time
Oh dear! I fear this will be the end of your friendship with the parents.
Could you volunteer to be in charge of the older children so that his parents can go and do toddler friendly stuff with him? And timetable in time with just your own family.
Can you not pre book your seats now and accidentally not tell your friends in the hope they get put up the other end of the plane?
We went on holiday with my DSis and her DH and two toddlers when my eldest was 2, and they were 3 and 4. They were a bit out of control and very poorly disciplined, and it all ended up in a massive screaming match between all four adults.
At one point my nephew (4) started playing with another child's toys on the beach (bucket, spade, sand moulds etc) and the other child happily let him, while he sat with his parents.
My sis wanted to take her her DCs back to the apartment for lunch and a sleep (about 5 minute walk away) and my nephew kicked up a stink about having to leave the toys behind, so my DSis LET HIM TAKE THE TOYS WITH HIM.
Yes! she just muttered, 'Oh ok then, but we must bring them back later - they don't belong to us.' Anything to avoid having to deal with her tantrumming child.
We stayed on the beach for a bit, and had the lovely job of explaining to the other family who came looking for their toys when they wanted to leave, that my nephew had actually been allowed to take them home. I was mortified. My DH was FURIOUS.
That was just one of the antics they pulled. It was the longest fucking week of my life.
We had a horrendous falling out with the family we were holidaying with once. It ended when our family stormed out early one morning half way through the three weeks that we had stupidly committed ourselves to.
Live and learn.
But we didn't get annoyed with their
horrible kids . I think you can cope with kid mess and noise if it isn't your own home. Plus, you can disappear off for the day/evening if it gets too much. Which you can' t do if he is trashing your own living room.
Chin up - he'll have probably outgrown some of this messy crap behaviour by then.
Is the holiday insured? Can you feign some illness at the last minute and not go?
If your dc are similar ages they will start to copy him.
Then you will end up blowing.
I have an acquaintance that has two dc
brats they come over occasionally. They are rude, snatch, shout and disobey their mother.
All the while ds is watching.
I get down on their level and very calmly but firmly tell them that they cannot behave like this at my house. Seems to work.
Speak to your friend.
"Can you not pre book your seats now and accidentally not tell your friends in the hope they get put up the other end of the plane?"
That is an amazing idea. I am going to look into that now. It will be money well-spent!
Fell', sounds a fahking nightmare, mate. At least when it's fahmily, you can vent off a bit. It's harder with friends, do you think? Not that I am minimising what you went through. The beach thing sounds like something that Cake Crusher would do tbh. He is such a little bell-end. Flame me, I don't care.
Thankfully, mine is older and doesn't have any truck with petulant tantrummers.
We went on holiday once to Malta with friends. It was awful, their Ds was a 4 year old spoiled brat who had been given no boundries and the other DH was drunk picking fight with other people every night. My DH had to put him to bed on one or 2 occasions, l did not go near him as hir temper was dreadful.
we lasted the holiday (just) and that was the end of the friendship. I don't think we spoke again.
PS The other DH is currently serving a 12 year stretch for assault/attempted murder
We've done a number of trips away with groups of families, and each family is somewhere different on the strictness spectrum (there are some families that are much stricter than us, and others who are much less so). When you are on holiday (as opposed to in your own house) you just have to take the attitude that (unless he is hitting you!) it is not your problem - in the shared accommodation, if he drops something, it is not for you to pick it up. It's harder if you have children around the same age as they realise they are being treated differently ("Why can X get down from the table if I can't?") but you just have to remind yourself it's only 10 days, and you will be in the sunshine!
Did you holiday with Frank Gallagher?!
His DW went into hiding with DS, we moved house to get away from him and his family after he attempted to drive his car up our path to ram our front door ( his wife had fled to us). We had refused to have anything to do with him after the holiday but felt sorry for my DF who was married to him. So we took her in overnight but he guessed where she was.
He appeared to all intents and purposes a really nice guy but behind this facade he was an evil bastard.
What happened Laura? You can't leave us all in suspense!
woah, he sounds like a charmer Doha! Glad the animal is locked up
Thereafter we vowed never to go on holiday again with friends!!
My God, if I had to be on holiday with someone that wanted to fight everyone I'd have to pack up and go home. The shame!
God Doha, that sounds terrible!
FWIW, my friends themselves are actually lovely. Real do anything for you types and I am really close to the woman. I'm not worried about them ram-raiding my house or owt
I've done holidays with other friends before and everything has gone nicely.
OP, I think you need to set some ground rules now with your friends, so that you aren't discussing this in Florida. Decide how you're going to deal with these issues now, so that when the vacation comes everyone is (hopefully) on the same page or at least knows what to expect!
Start disciplining the terror when he comes to your house so that he begins to at least respect you and what you say, that may help his behavior on the trip.
What are their older children like?
You could try banging on about 1-2-3 Magic or similar to your mates, and how it's helped you. But I suspect that may be too PA. So I can only suggest the last resort
Sounds like it might b a tough holiday. I will b having a horrible holiday that mil booked for the whole family with alcohol bil coming along who becomes agressive when he has been drinking, so am realky hoping he doesnt start a fight/get arrested during our holiday. I dont know why she wants the whole family as dh and bil rarely get along and bil and step-fil actively dislike eachother. Two rooms between three couples and our kids will be very interesting.
The plane part is easy outbound, but you'll need to think about inbound too Marmalade. Make sure you priority book both ways!
If it helps DS was a horror at 3, he got his 2's late. Probably be a sweetheart by September.
at Scarmbled and the restraints. The older DCs are boisterous but don't really have the malevolent streak that the little one seems to have. You can at least reason with the elder ones but they will not be an ally of me.
I like monster's idea. Start letting the little fecker ( and his wet parents) that he doesn't get to arse around when he's at your place. But really the only thing that will help you keep your sanity and your friendships is to stay out of their way as much as possible.
It really is making my piss boil reading about all these lazy parents (and attempted murderers ). Still, you reap what you sow. I've seen the results with a friend's teenage 'D'S. He is a horrible, spoilt little bastard. He treats his parents like shit and has no respect for them, down to graffiting '[mum's name] is a bitch' on their front wall.
Rather you than me Marmalade <helpful>
God, that plane journey IS going to be a bloody nightmare. If you are flying Virgin, you can book your seats 90 days in advance so I would diarise it now and they also provide free drinks which I would make the most of....
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