to think that putting your child in pants doesn't make them potty trained?

(78 Posts)
wreckedone Wed 24-Apr-13 12:14:15

I met an acquaintance at playgroup this morning,our lads are the same age and she was at great pains to tell me that he was potty training. Which is great, I know some friends' children have potty trained at this age (they're 23mo). But she then went on to tell me that he was in pants as he's allergic to pull ups-he was just using the pants like a nappy and weeing in them-I know all children have accidents when they're just starting out, but 3 times in under 2 hours?!
She kept making a big thing of how grown up her lad is, particularly when he grabbed a toy off my lad and my lad cried ("big boys like X don't cry"). AIBU to think she's a bit of a knob?

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 26-Apr-13 13:09:45

well I might be a bit po faced but its supposed to be to support other parents wink

Not rip into them on a public messageboard

goldenlula Fri 26-Apr-13 13:08:09

All children are different, ds1 was fully out of nappies urging the day by 19 months, with very little effort from me. We had a potty around from 11 months, I would sit him on it from time to time, very occasionally I would time it right and he would wee or poo on it. He then started using it on his own, I would go to the kitchen and come back and find a wee in the potty (pfb, loads of no nappy time as no other children to worry about). Went with it and he trained quickly and easily. Ds2 trained quickly at 23 months then went backwards after about 2 months and was a nightmare on and off for 6 months. He is nearly 5 now, but still leaves it to the last moment to go to the toilet.
Dd is nearly 2 and we have been potty training this week as she was showing signs of being ready. She is physically ready, in the sense she knows when she needs to go, she holds it etc but she is not keen on the feeling of the wee leaving her iykwim. For this reason I have up her back kin nappies when we are ou and about as I do not want her weeing everywhere.
This mum should be taking him to the toilet regularly and definitely cleaning up after him. Perhaps suggest the reusable training pants.

Oh come on Fanjo what else is mumsnet for? wink

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 26-Apr-13 13:01:47

Tis just a wee bit bitchy to start a thread on here to slag off someone's parenting IMO, sorry

Not commenting on an individual case that I don't really know enough about but I do find it frustrating when people think that their DCs are potty trained when what they really mean is that their DC will use a potty IF and ONLY if Mummy is running round after them with a potty in hand and can sense when they need it and manage to get their pants down and them sitting down before they do their wee! that was one very long sentence That is not potty trained!
Each to their own but my preference was to keep mine in nappies until they were "ready" and we had no accidents and mess to clear up. I hate vomit and poo and would far pay out for more nappies than clear up after the accidents. It doesn't appear to have done my children any harm either. On the other hand my own mother insists that I was potty trained at 13 months. in fact, I used the proper toilet rather than a potty!! Not sure I believe that, grin

Fakebook Fri 26-Apr-13 12:25:15

That is pretty disgusting. He's obviously not potty trained or training to use the potty if there isn't even an attempt on his behalf to run to the toilet/potty. Leaving a child in their own stinky piss is wrong. What an idiot.

wreckedone Fri 26-Apr-13 11:23:34

He'd been in dispy nappies before and not had an allergic reaction to them.

wreckedone Fri 26-Apr-13 11:22:29

Fanjo I don't doubt he has an allergy to pull ups, but he doesn't have an allergy to the cloth nappies-which he was in until she decided to flog them and use pull ups. Now she's too tight to buy disposable nappies for him. She didn't clear up after his accidents either.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 25-Apr-13 15:39:17

still have a way to go , but she was dry at school!

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 25-Apr-13 15:29:27

yes grinwine

Mintyy Thu 25-Apr-13 15:15:39

Yay for Fanjo's dd!

SpanishFly Thu 25-Apr-13 15:09:52

aw, you must be delighted wine

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 25-Apr-13 15:02:22

My DD had her first dry day yesterday...she is 6.5!! grin

SpanishFly Thu 25-Apr-13 14:59:16

fairylightsinthespring that's a different thing, tho. I think it is accepted that between 2-3 is the ideal age for MOST kids, but a 23mo pissing all over the place, and doesnt seem to even understand why, thats clearly too soon for him.
And by 3yo they're more understanding and aware, so it's often easier when they're older. Your case sounds frustrating and must have been a worry for you, but it's not "the norm".
Who cares what your friend thinks - I hate people that are competitive about things like this sad

fairylightsinthespring Thu 25-Apr-13 14:37:23

thing is, whilst I agree that in general you should wait until they're ready and then it should only take a few days or weeks, what happens when your DC is almost three and showing absolutely no interest or sign of readiness? We waited and waited with DS until he was 2.10. we took the plunge at that point because Dh and I are both teachers and it coincided with our long holiday so we could be home with him and not involve the CM at the early stages (who remained unsupportive for the entire process). Also many nurseries (as 3+ ones) would not be keen on a child still in nappies, though ours WAS ok, I could tell they were a bit fed up with the accidents It was very difficult to deal with actually, DH was very embarrassed and kept asking if there was something wrong with DS seeing as everyone else was trained before 3. All the GPs kept on at us to do it and seemed oblivious to anything other than the ages that DH and I trained which we heard ad infinitum. DS is 95% there now at 3.7 but still soaked through at night (nappies). If my friend, whose DS "trained himself" in two days at 2.10 and is dry at night raises her eyes at me one more time I may have to smack her hmm

pigletmania Thu 25-Apr-13 14:32:50

Yanbu she sounds silly. Shevs not potty training if she is not teaching him how to use the potty or toilet

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 25-Apr-13 14:32:12

Yes that's not ideal.

I am a big believer in everyone is just doing their best under their own circumstances though

SpanishFly Thu 25-Apr-13 14:28:57

although i'd still be pissed off if a child was pissing all over the place where my child was playing

SpanishFly Thu 25-Apr-13 14:28:19

ha, quite. smile

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 25-Apr-13 14:27:55

No, the mum probably just said pullups and didn't realise her use of words would be picked apart on MN tbh

SpanishFly Thu 25-Apr-13 14:26:44

yes, they are the same material, which is partly why it's confusing that he's allegedly allergic to pull-ups only

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 25-Apr-13 14:25:20

There is a tendency to dismiss allergies.

The poor mum was prob just trying to train him quickly because he was getting a sore rashy bottom from the nappies/pullups.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 25-Apr-13 14:24:40

pullups and nappies are made of the same material?

SpanishFly Thu 25-Apr-13 14:23:45

He's allergic to pull-ups, not to nappies. so "why the hell" isnt he wearing a nappy?

ReallyTired Thu 25-Apr-13 14:22:01

This is what your friend needs

bright bots

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