To ask that if you don't work but your husband/partner does, do you get an allowance for clothes?

(133 Posts)
suebfg Tue 23-Apr-13 20:16:57

I recently stopped working and don't have money of my own coming in. I feel like I don't want to spend the money earned by DH on the 'nice to haves' - treats for myself etc.

How do you manage it in your households?

alwaysinhiding Tue 23-Apr-13 20:19:37

Dh works i dont, the money goes into my account as i manage all the bills etc, if i need or want to buy something i just buy it, i dont ask.

alienbanana Tue 23-Apr-13 20:20:17

Joint accounts. One for house stuff (so there is always enough for mortgage/bills/car etc - we don't touch this account) and another account for food shopping and everything else including clothes.

What does your DH think? Presumably he buys himself 'nice to have' things? confused

Pascha Tue 23-Apr-13 20:20:46

All money in the same pot. Not his or hers or childrens just 'ours'. Bills paid and equal spends allowed afterward whether it's £1 or £100/ month.

Phineyj Tue 23-Apr-13 20:21:38

Agree on what you have each in the way of personal spending money per month but spend it as you wish I'd say... Anything else risks setting up an awkward parent-child dynamic, one person's luxury being another person's essential and all that.

This is why I would never stop working unless I had absolutely no choice, tbh.

leftangle Tue 23-Apr-13 20:21:56

You are married - that should mean sharing all you have. You shouldn't have to ask, or discuss. If you can afford treats you should be able to buy them just as he can. Not sure that clothes are treats anyway.

BlueberryHill Tue 23-Apr-13 20:21:57

We have a joint bank account, all the bills etc come out of it and his salary goes in. We discuss largish purchases but if I need something for the kids / myself I buy it. 'Need' is very wide and includes would like to treat the kids to a toy etc. We generally discuss more expensive treats like clothes etc as money is a bit tight.

We've had this set up for a long time, including when I was working and we had no children. I stopped work to look after the children. Only issues have been due to money being tight with only one salary coming in, DH does not begrudge me buying treats for myself. I view it as family income, so does DH.

Habbibu Tue 23-Apr-13 20:22:05

Not an allowance! Money is split between various accounts - a set amount goes into one joint ac for food, bills, petrol, etc, another amount into another account for yearly bills, contingency and kids activities, other sums into jt savings accounts, and the remainder split evenly between our two personal accounts. It's how we did it when I worked, how we do it now I don't, and how we'll do it when I work again.

Ffuntimewincies Tue 23-Apr-13 20:22:11

It's family money in our house and we just spend sensible amounts as we need to as we both know our agreed budgetary limits. Neither partner feels that they have the right to deny the other party necessities like clothes when they need replacing.

Although in an ideal word this should have been a discussion you and your dh had before stopping working (for whatever reason).

anniroc Tue 23-Apr-13 20:23:50

Dh earns it, I spend it basically. Are you a SAHM? If so, you definitely deserve a.few treats - know I do!!

BooksandaCuppa Tue 23-Apr-13 20:24:20

Regardless of who earns how much/works however many hours we've always had an equal amount of 'pocket money' or spends per month. Exactly the same. The rest goes into joint account to pay bills. Joint decision making on savings etc. It goes without saying that the person working fewer or no hours is picking up more of the slack around the house etc.

WishIdbeenatigermum Tue 23-Apr-13 20:24:38

All money into a joint account. DH buys himself expensive work clothes and everything else from TK Max. He begged me TK spend mor on clothes and stop buying from supermarkets. blush

ceres Tue 23-Apr-13 20:24:50

i work, dh doesn't.

all money goes into our joint account and belongs to us both. neither of us check with the other before spending on normal everyday like clothes, books etc. we tend to discuss spending on things which affect us both - like buying a piece of furniture for example, we would both have to like it.

Jojobump1986 Tue 23-Apr-13 20:25:09

DH is the sole earner in our house but neither of us would spend more than about £5 on a nice-to-have without speaking to the other first. I suspect this would still be the case if I was earning money. For us it doesn't matter whose name is on the paperwork, we're a team & all money that comes in is 'ours'.

Fairylea Tue 23-Apr-13 20:25:48

All wages go in, all bills come out. We split whatever is left equally between us to spend as we wish. Dh spends it on tattoos I spend my share on clothes and make up smile

I'd hate to have an allowance! I'm equal, not a paid helper....!

AnyFucker Tue 23-Apr-13 20:26:01

Are you going to go naked then ?

Your question is not computing, sorry.

How will you eat ? < frets >

Mumof2beautys Tue 23-Apr-13 20:26:53

I'm a stay at home mum and my DPs money is our only income.. And to be honest I don't really spend it on myself more so on the kids (maybe a little too Much at times) only on myself once in a while as 'a treat'.. but if you want something I'd get it.. As long as ur note struggling with money or in great debt then I see no problem.. And I'm sure that you DH wouldn't mind.. I'm sure if it makes you happy then he'll be happy...

MsVestibule Tue 23-Apr-13 20:29:05

I feel like I don't want to spend the money earned by DH on the 'nice to haves' - treats for myself etc.

If he was the one not earning, is this how you'd want him to feel about 'your' income?

AnyFucker Tue 23-Apr-13 20:29:09

Ohhh right, I geddit

In order to eat but not have the "nice to haves" you will purchase only no-frills basic staples such as rice and pulses for yourself but buy tastier and more interesting food for your husband ?

dogindisguise Tue 23-Apr-13 20:29:09

We have a joint current account for all outgoings. I would ask before making a major purchase but otherwise spend what I need to, including clothes.
Rather than thinking of 'his and hers' money I remind myself he's earning the money but I'm raising our children.

malteserzz Tue 23-Apr-13 20:30:33

I work but dh earns a lot more than me, all goes in one pot though and we spend whatever we like as long as we can afford it!

MajaBiene Tue 23-Apr-13 20:30:35

Money in, bills out, we both spend what's left. Wouldn't spend more than £50 without mentioning it though.

Wishiwasanheiress Tue 23-Apr-13 20:32:38

All incomings are family ones. So anything necessary comes out of that. Including and not only new lipstick, hairspray or jeans/top/high heels etc. that's just dh ;)

Stop viewing it as his & hers its ours now. He needs stuff u need stuff kids need stuff all out of one pot. End of.

Just spend wisely! smile

We have one account everything Dh earns goes into it. I pay all bills and give him a set amount each week for petrol and whatever he wants. He has a credit card to use if he needs more, I think he's only used it twice in many years and that was for things from the hardware store on his way home.
I put a bit into a savings account when I can, but theres not much left each month. If we want something big we say something before hand so we don't over draw or to give me a chance to move money from savings.

An 'allowance', no, I didn't have one, how patronising!
When I wasn't working, it was 'our' money, when DH wasn't working it was still 'ours'.

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