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to take out an enormous bank loan and get me a gastric band?

(62 Posts)
AtYourCervix Tue 23-Apr-13 07:43:11

I have an extremely unhealthy relationship with food.
The thinnest I have been and when I looked my best I was pretty much bullimic.

I am now old and fat. I don't like being fat. I start the day in a healthy frame of mind then crave carbs and butter and shit. I'm all or nothing. At a push I can be 'good' for a month, drop a stone, then return to 'normal' and over do the cheese, bread, butter and wine. Again.
Dietwise- you name it I've done it. For a month or so until I get bored and think I can control it and have just a little.
I am unreasonable. I know I am. But I am also a bit desperate.
If I were to do a band I have some questions.
Where? How much? How quickly? Would someone as weird and obsessive and crap with food be able to break it? If not surgery what elae?

orangeandlemons Tue 23-Apr-13 08:43:41

But what if you have tried all those things to no avail? I have failed at all of them spectacularly.

Sometimes drastic action may be the only option

orangeandlemons Tue 23-Apr-13 08:44:22

...and I think they can be undone, and they aren't reallynthatbig an operation

JakeBullet Tue 23-Apr-13 08:48:43

AtYourCervix, have you tried LowCarb diets? I am eating based on Low Carb principles and I have never felt so well, There is an active Low Carb thread under the Big Slim topic and the people there are great. Yes you can eat butter and cream but not bread, pasta, potatoes etc (or only rarely). I have lost well over a stone since starting this way of eating and have not counted a single calorie.

Take a look at "Escape the Diet Trap" by Dr John Briffa (or just google his name). The Diet Doctor (a Swedish doctor) is also a fantastic website and it's all based upon sound scientific principles. Basically concentrating on foods that don't spike the blood sugar and stimulate a massive insulin response. IN Sweden this is now an accepted way f eating...and as the butter sales in Sweden have increase so their levels of obesity are starting to fall. Trust me on this...sugars and carbs are the issue.

AtYourCervix Tue 23-Apr-13 08:52:09

I have tried WW. SW. Pills. Veganism. Bullimia. 5:2. Atkins. Low carb. Low fat. Low calorie. I am active. I walk. I go to the gym. I am genetically lazy and greedy. I like food. I know about nutrition. I have a different excuse for every hour of the day. I have a pretty good insight into why I am fat. That doesn't stop me being fat.

See. Excuses.

JakeBullet Tue 23-Apr-13 08:52:30

...and we are starting a new Bootcamp here if you are interested. Starting on the 29th April I think. Two weeks of Bootcamp then introduce some extras...trust me you will feel fabulous afterwards.

AtYourCervix Tue 23-Apr-13 08:53:42

I like carbs. With a hefty dose of cheese.

Low carb is quite hard if you don't like meat.

JakeBullet Tue 23-Apr-13 08:54:03

Actually you are fit and tbh that is worth a huge amount. Fitness counts more when looking at causes of illness and health. Thin unfit people die quicker than fat people who are fit.

Maybe it's self esteem and body image that's an issue.

matchpoint Tue 23-Apr-13 08:55:49

Please don't listen to the poster saying that they aren't 'really that big an operation.' My friend had one. She had complications post-op which involved being fed through a tube in her nose directly into her intestines for several months. Her family also continued to eat crap food around her, which was very hard for her. She looks very good now (several years later), but when I asked if she'd do it again, she said no.

If you do decide to go ahead with the procedure, you must follow your doctor's advice to the T. Can you do that?

AtYourCervix Tue 23-Apr-13 08:57:52

I can't do it really. I haven't the £££ and am far too chicken.
Just a bit disparing.
I will relook at low carbing.

AtYourCervix Tue 23-Apr-13 08:58:52

Self esteem? What's that?
And I know my body image. It's disgusting.

see? Issues. Huge ones

drfayray Tue 23-Apr-13 09:07:26

About a year (and a bit) ago, I was a size 20 - my weight went up and down and up and down: bloody yoyo me sad.

Then my ex left us. And I wanted to make changes; had tried all sorts of programs but they were always no good. Worked for a bit then it all came back.

So I decided to work at it myself. I changed my attitude to food. It was about fuel; not pleasure. And I started to exercise. Every single day I did something. I set myself challenges. What also helps is that I do not drink nor like cheese!

Now I am a size 12/14 and look amazing (see my pix; I have a before and after as well).

I still have to be on the ball. The key is exercise; I run and dance. I also make sure that I eat well and no crap as that is not good for my body. Attitude change i guess. I knew what I had to do but actually doing it..got to be a habit.

Not wanting to sound preachy but I think a gastric band is too dangerous and well..you need to work on why you want to change...if you do that is..

And I adore dressing up and looking great. Off to tango class now!

Good luck with everything!

uggmum Tue 23-Apr-13 09:15:10

I don't have first hand experience of this but I have a close friend who had a gastric bypass. My friend was addicted to food, always eating the wrong types of food and her weight rose to 25 stone.

She had a bypass 15 mths ago and has lost 13 stone since then. She looks and feels amazing. Her whole attitude to food has changed and she longer craves the foods that she used to eat. To be honest she struggles to eat full stop. But she says she is a lot happier than before.

CocacolaMum Tue 23-Apr-13 09:20:37

Try Myfitnesspal.com its completely free. You can track your eating habits and log exercise - post in the welcome forum and you will get lots of friends to offer support x

Lucyellensmum95 Tue 23-Apr-13 09:20:49

Maybe spend the £££s on some counselling - please don't say those things about yourself, i find it really upsetting sad

There are millions upon millions of pounds made by fad diets and bloody fucking weight watchers and slimming world - all of them promoting quick fix solutions. Solutions to what?? Being what society expects us to be. I am not saying that we shouldn't eat healthily but NO, you wont be happier if you are stick thin - You wont suddenly have an idyllic life if only you can shed those last few pounds. I HATE the way that they are using "celebreties" on the WW adverts just now - its like "look, you can be like me - i was oooh, half a stone over my ideal underweight size but thanks to weight watchers I have lost the weight and become my former amazing self with the amazing life and loads of £££ friends and everythings wonderful" FUCK OFF!!!!! These adverts are there to make us feel bad about ourselves - its like, fuck me, if patsy kensit was that worried about being half a stone over weight i must be a fucking hippo and i'll never be happy unless i get my credit card out right now this minute - oh and these companies do really well because its unsustainable, so the weight goes back on, you sign up again...........and so it goes on.

STOP dieting - starting eating healthy food i will if you will! but if you want a tub of ben and jerries, fucking have it!! Just make sure that your main meals are healthy - the craving for the shit should stop.

JakeBullet Tue 23-Apr-13 09:22:06

"Carbs...with a hefty dose of cheese" grin. Yep me too lol but it's an occasional treat now.

Yes I have heard that LC if you are not a meat eater is hard.

Quodlibet Tue 23-Apr-13 09:23:03

OP it seems like you know there's an underlying psychological issue at work here which gastric bands aren't going to fix. Have you looked into any psych support? CBT or counselling to address your self-esteem and food issues? It seems like you know that unless you tackle the root causes (which must be very daunting) you'll just go round in circles. Don't dismiss CBT because you 'know' what your problems are - you still need support to construct different thought patterns to enable behavioural change.

JakeBullet Tue 23-Apr-13 09:23:37

In Sweden WW have been in trouble for using a woman in an advert who actually lost her weight in a health resort on a 500 cal a day diet. NOT on the WW diet as they claimed. hmm

I really recommend gokaleo.com and her book taking up space

It's a really helpful approach for people overcoming difficult/disordered relationships with food and eating/dieting.

There's a facebook group too, which is great for support/advice on the road to recovery. It's interesting how the issues and feelings are very similar in very slim women and very fat women. A bad relationship with your body and with food is not cured by losing weight. But it can be cured!

I'm feeling much much better about myself. I'm much fitter and healthier (and slightly thinner), and it's much easier to take the 'right' decisions because I feel like I'm worth looking after.

Good luck.

You could try Slim & Save. Its meal replacement packs, low carb. I don't like meat, and its the only low carb option I could find.

You can do 3/4 packs (milkshakes, bars, soups, meals) a day, plus low carb veg. You order a weeks supply at a time online. You lose about a stone a month- although I understand it dosen't address your food issue, some time away from cooking/kitchen/bingeing can be helpful?

CarpeVinum Tue 23-Apr-13 09:43:29

I think it might be worth checking to see if there is a UK version of something like this.

www.gastricsurgeryfriends.com/

With such a concentrated array of experience, pre and post op you might get a feel for what your outcome would be like, depending on whose circumstances you relate to best.

It would also highlight any lesser known issues that might be of particular concern to you.

It also appears to offer community for support post op aimed at avpiding pitfalls that lead to regain or wieght.

I just don't think you are going to quite the array of experience and knowledge here that you would get in a topic specific community.

A friend of ours had it done. He lost a lot of wieght, but there were some post op issues that caused him to have to have quite a lot of medical intervention afterwards. He is regaining the wieght. I think possibly he was unprepared for all eventualities, so it was a hell of a shcok for him, and I think he needs life post op input from people in the same boat to challenge some of the stratagies he is inventing that seem to be sabotuaging longer term success.

Whichever forum you pick, make sure it is one that doesn't ban or dogpile people who relate less postivie experiences. If everything looks too rosy, maybe skip that one and see if you can find something with a more rounded range of experiences.

FeijoaVodkaStat Tue 23-Apr-13 09:43:31

Maybe you just don't want to change.

No matter what weight loss route you choose it isn't going to work if your heart isn't in it.

So for now you are active and fit which is good, but until you are in the right head space to change your eating habits, you will stay overweight and fit.

BigFatSpider Tue 23-Apr-13 09:49:54

"I have tried WW. SW. Pills. Veganism. Bullimia. 5:2. Atkins. Low carb. Low fat. Low calorie. I am active. I walk. I go to the gym. I am genetically lazy and greedy. I like food. I know about nutrition. I have a different excuse for every hour of the day. I have a pretty good insight into why I am fat. That doesn't stop me being fat."

Hey smile

I am you. Or rather (oh god, here comes the diet bore) - I was you. I had tried everything and cried myself to sleep most nights, woken with the same 'oh christ I'm still fat and I hate myself' feeling in the pit of my (hungry) stomach, but still employed the same excuses over and over. I'm exercise-induced asthmatic. I have MS and often can't feel my legs and get tired very quickly. I haven't got time what with working and family. Eating carbs'n'shit is my only pleasure. Yada yada yada.

I eventually hit 16.11 last August, barely squeezing myself into a 22 at 5 foot 4. Not pretty, and I suspect I was heading for gastic band surgery within a year or so - I could quite easily see how out of control I was (including purging on and off for years) but couldn't do a damn thing about it.

What has worked for me is Orlistat. It's hardcore - but for me, it's the fact that when I take them, I simply can't eat carbs'n'shit - it's the simplest equation that even I, with my myriad of excuses and 'oh only one won't hurt, go on then' can't get away from. Take a tablet with 3 meals a day, don't eat crap between meals, and stay away from too much fat. I avoid things that are more than 5g fat per 100g to be on the safe side. I love the simplicity of it - if I eat what I've learned is sensibly, I lose weight. If I eat shit, I shit orange oil. It's like post-partum sneezing/bladder weakness - you really don't want to fart in public if you've been eating the wrong thing.

Pretty graphic, I know - but for me, it was just that fact that I couldn't cheat - or rather that if I did, more fool me. Of course I eat 'bad' stuff every now and again - but it's the every now and again bit that's now beginning to get under control. Every now and again is acceptable for life and won't upset my innards unduly. Eating a whole block of Caerphilly with 6 pieces of toast because I want to, goddammit, will.

If you like, I can tell you how much I've lost so far, what size I am and how I feel - but I found there was nothing worse than partly-reformed fatties telling me breezily 'oh, if I can do it, anyone can'. But... that's where I am now.

Hope this makes sense - an awful ramble and my work PC is still on Explorer v.6 so I can only see 6 words at a time...

Have a think about Orlistat - GP prescription only. I'm on a 3 month supply and get weighed at the surgery before they'll give me more. I never, ever thought I'd see myself - or that others would see me - as anything other than 'pretty face, shame about the rest of her'.

AtYourCervix Tue 23-Apr-13 10:11:16

I think I need counselling from samantha brick. She'd sort me out.

Add MyFitnessPal and Orlistat into my list of tried and failds.

Need to untwist my psyche.

Lucyellensmum95 Tue 23-Apr-13 10:17:02

Samantha brick is a shallow egotistical cunt - she would simply take delight in making you feel shit about yourself so she can feel good about herself and move on

<awaits deletion>

AtYourCervix Tue 23-Apr-13 10:24:29

grin

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