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AIBU?

Please flame me, I've been a bitch!

54 replies

HerrenaHarridan · 22/04/2013 12:44

I just asked someone if she was pregnant and she said no! I would never normally do this but she was fairly skinny with a well formed and fairly pronounced bump. It just came out!

She is the waitress in the cafe so now I have to sit her and squirm until I can leave.

It is a lovely local cafe and I am never coming back!

OP posts:

Report

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 22/04/2013 12:46

Silly comment to make. A woman at a bus stop once asked me the same and I had to say "I had her last week." She had the grace to look devastated. My niece said "You still look pregnant!" ONE DAY after a c section. Little cow. She was old enough to know better too.

ElectricSoftParade · 22/04/2013 12:46

Oh poor woman and poor you!

I have asked once and learned my lesson not to ask again. Mind you, that doesn't stop it happening to me.

Hamishbear · 22/04/2013 12:49

It happens to me & I'm not overweight - in fact I often think you have to l

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 22/04/2013 12:51

I once ushered a patient into the consultation room and asked if his wife would be coming in with him, it was his mum.

She looked delighted at being mistaken for a young wife, he looked horrified.
I still cringe when I think about it now and I always refer to accompanying people as 'the person with you'.

Hamishbear · 22/04/2013 12:51

It happens to me & I'm not overweight - in fact I often think you have to look fairly slim - generally speaking - to be mistaken for pregnant. As you get older you start to think it's a compliment someone might think you're expecting :). Don't beat yourself up.

Avondale · 22/04/2013 12:52

Oops! When I was pregnant with twins, this was one of my favourite games. When people asked when I was due, I'd put on a face and tell them I wasn't pregnant! Things you do to amuse yourself when you can't have a drink eh?

Mabelface · 22/04/2013 12:53

Never ask a woman when's it due unless she's gripping your hand and demanding pethadine.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali · 22/04/2013 12:55

A member of staff in Burtons thought I was a man once.

DontSHOUTTTTTT · 22/04/2013 12:55

If it makes you feel better... I went to M&S yesterday and said to my DD 'God, those are spectacularly ugly shoes'. they were I turned around and someone was trying them on . Then I tried to apologise and say that they we were looking for shoes for my DD and that the truly, spectacularly ugly shoes wouldn't have looked nice on her (my DD) but that they were, of course, nice shoes.

The fumbled apology did not go down that well much to my DD's amusement.

OP faux pax was worse though (sorry)

Live 'n learn.....

TheCountessOlenska · 22/04/2013 12:57

Ha ha AlexReid, me and DH were referred to as "you and your brother" once, we newlyweds and were holding hands

hatgirl · 22/04/2013 12:57

HerrenaHarridan maybe you are right and she is just in denial

SconeInSixtySeconds · 22/04/2013 12:58

I was asked that question too when not pg, by a young man at the till in the co-op. I was so flabbergasted that I gaily said "oh yes, five months" paid and left.

I haven't been to the co-op for a year.

Dahlen · 22/04/2013 13:01

I have a strange fear of this and resolutely avoid commenting on anyone's baby bump even when it is blatantly obvious that they are about to drop at any moment. I probably get thought of as being rude and uninterested but I'd rather that than find myself in the OP's predicament.

ENormaSnob · 22/04/2013 13:01

I bet she spits in your latte

VitoCorleone · 22/04/2013 13:04

A few days after i had DS2 my neighbour saw me at the back door and shouted "you still not had that baby yet?!" when i said "yeah i had him sunday" she looked me up and down and said "no you havent!"

I was so upset

mildred37 · 22/04/2013 13:15

Don't feel too bad. I work in a hospital and asked a couple if they were there to see their grandchild - they said "no, we're actually her parents". Cringe........

Itchywoolyjumper · 22/04/2013 13:15

Oh dear OP, its always a minefield.
If it makes you feel any better me and little DS (2)were on a longish bus journey into the Highlands last week. DS started playing up really early into the journey and was kicking the seat back in front of us. I stopped him and then spent quite a long time explaining why he shouldn't do it an why it wasn't very nice for the lady sitting in front of us. DS was asking questions and it was all getting a bit loud as it does with 2 year olds. I'd said "lady" about 5 times when the passenger in question turned round and said "I'm a man!". We had to sit there for 2 and half hours and walk past him on the way off

ShadowStorm · 22/04/2013 13:18

Oops.

One of my colleagues is intolerant to gluten - she's very slim, but if she eats food with gluten in, her tummy swells right up and does make her look pregnant. But this doesn't happen very often because she normally manages to avoid gluten!

shockers · 22/04/2013 13:21

I was in Italy with my 24 yr old son, in a taxi, on the way to a wedding. Because we didn't know the way to the venue, we showed the driver the invitation.
"Ah, you are getting married today... you are a very handsome pair!" remarked the taxi driver.
My son was horrified .

PicardyThird · 22/04/2013 13:22

I'm small and slim with a flat chest and a bit of a tummy. I get asked if I'm pg every few months. Sometimes it's upsetting, because I've had miscarriages. Otherwise, . Having a tummy is no shame, and I wish we wouldn't feel like it is.

Wishwehadgoneabroad · 22/04/2013 13:24

A friend of mine did this..but worse...

Said...OMG you're pregnant, when's it due..whilst rubbing the ladies 'bump'

Now. That would be embarrassing!

HeadFairy · 22/04/2013 13:25

You weren't a bitch OP, you weren't being malicious (I assume!)

I've always followed the rule that you never asked someone if they're pregnant unless you were the person to impregnate her (unlikely in my case, what with me being female 'n' all :o) or she's actually giving birth in front of you :o

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yaimee · 22/04/2013 13:30

I was very overweight before I got pregnant and not a single person ever commented on my bump even when I was 9 months, I'm pretty sure that this was because everyone was worried that I'd just got even fatter! Most people know not to ask now don't they

Floggingmolly · 22/04/2013 13:30

Serves him right for bringing his mum with him to the doctors, AlexReid. Don't know why he looked horrified, the truth was far more humiliating...

OhTheConfusion · 22/04/2013 13:32

These things happen, don't beat yourself up.

My aunt once asked an old school friend if she was pregnant... she wasn't. She then met the same woman a year later, heavily pregnant with twins, and felt too embarrassed to comment .

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