Should MOH's step up and plan hen do's?

(36 Posts)
hairtearing Mon 22-Apr-13 10:45:47

That really, I'd feel far too cheeky to ask mine to do it, but the expectation makes me feel like if I organise my own I'm a sad case sad

Whats the consensus?

AIBU to worry about who plans my hen do?

WafflyVersatile Tue 23-Apr-13 21:36:39

my sister told me what she wanted to do and when it would have to be and gave me the emails of the other invitees who would be able to help with bed space restaurant recommendations etc. I was arranging from afar.

Do what works for you in your circs. I'm not sure anyone cares that much.

GreenEggsAndNichts Tue 23-Apr-13 21:12:47

hair Presumably she's a good friend if she's your MOH. Just ask her casually if she's interested in organising something. I was my BF's MOH but I live overseas. Thankfully, her younger sister (who was a BM) was very keen so was the one who planned the hen do.

andadietcoke Tue 23-Apr-13 20:33:33

I organised my own, but have organised two for other brides. One did some of the planning and I managed the admin, the other gave me vague guidelines and a guest list and I did the rest.

OrangeLily Tue 23-Apr-13 20:24:59

Personally I'd love to plan a hen do but Im an organising type person. You may want to take in to account whether this is her bag or not.

hairtearing Tue 23-Apr-13 19:01:05

Orange lily she sounds like a spoilt brat that would piss me right off, offs shit or get off the pot. I will send messages tonight.

hairtearing Tue 23-Apr-13 18:59:42

Tailwaster I'm the same as you I think when you take on m.o.h you take on that responsibility iyswim. hides from bridezilla accusation s I think I'm a bit sad she hasn't shown any interest.

Tailtwister Tue 23-Apr-13 17:37:59

I've only been a MOH once, but thought organising the hen night was part of the job description tbh. I would just ask her about it. Maybe she's not quite sure what you would like? Maybe you could offer her a list of people you'd like to be invited and see what she says?

OrangeLily Tue 23-Apr-13 17:35:47

I had this with my MOH and it created a total stress. For ages she couldn't be bothered organising it, so I started asking about things then she got upset about it and went overboard to make it a great hen and completely overspent. I had a fab time but still feel guilty. confusedI did ask if she didn't want the stress I could do it but she didn't want that either. Can't win!

LippiPongstocking Tue 23-Apr-13 17:06:31

I didn't have bridesmaids or MOH or anything, either.

LippiPongstocking Tue 23-Apr-13 17:06:00

I would have been happy to arrange my own too, a few good friends, a good pub, and a good old natter would have done me fine, tbh. But, I must admit that I was very grateful that my friends volunteered to do it, and I really enjoyed what they put together.

Autumn12 Tue 23-Apr-13 17:04:17

I organised my own. But then my one and only Bridesmaid was useless and didn't help me at all with anything.

I did my own, and my sister did her own although I was her MOH. It was easier all round.

aldiwhore Tue 23-Apr-13 16:51:07

My Mate of Honour (there's no way she would tolerate being called a maid) arranged one of mine, it wasn't my sort of thing so I arranged another myself.

It's just a party... don't overthink things, don't overcharge people, don't try to outdo any other hen night ever arranged. Do get your friends together and have a good night out.

LippiPongstocking Tue 23-Apr-13 16:49:05

Just say something like: "Would you like to arrange my hen party, I'd be honoured if you did" or something similar.

I was very lucky, I had two good friends volunteer to arrange mine, so I just gave them a list of email addresses, and left them to it. They wouldn't tell me what was going on till the day and it was great.

PoppyWearer Tue 23-Apr-13 16:08:22

I organised my own as my DSis was my bridesmaid/MOH and didn't know my friends. and I am a control freak

hairtearing Tue 23-Apr-13 16:06:47

Hmm I do need to ask Dont I? In a nudging kind of way, how would I phrase it without sounding demanding.

LippiPongstocking Tue 23-Apr-13 12:14:02

Then flipping well ask her, you 'nana! It's not being cheeky, but she's probably sitting around being all upset that you don't appear to want her involved.

Depends, of course, if you actually DO want her to do it.

bugsyburge Tue 23-Apr-13 11:41:54

I did my own too.... I have pockets of friends so although everyone knew of the other people, they didn't know them well so I thought it easier to organise my own....worked well I think.... they each surprised me with token gestures throughout the weekend which was lovely smile

ChasedByBees Tue 23-Apr-13 11:12:18

I'm a control freak project manager. I did my own.

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 23-Apr-13 11:11:01

You need to ask. Otherwise you'll be disappointed, and she'll have no idea!

hairtearing Tue 23-Apr-13 10:59:30

No Lippi I'm too worried to appear cheeky, although roles reversed I would be raring to go.

LippiPongstocking Tue 23-Apr-13 10:46:20

Have you, you know, actually asked her if she's going to organise it?

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 23-Apr-13 10:24:53

I didn't organise it, but I mentioned to my moh what I didn't want, maybe if you did this it would be a polite way to let her know you want to have a hen night?

hairtearing Tue 23-Apr-13 10:22:20

I don't mind either way tbh, aslong as its good its just my MOH has shown no real initiative or interest and coupled with the expectation of 'your MOH should do it!' I feel perhaps the lack of interest is a bit hmm

But I'd feel way to cheeky to give a verbal kick up the bum.

Do whatever works best for you, surely? Though if you want to make sure you'll like it, it's probably best to at least have some input yourself.

I organized mine pretty much (twas a very small one though!), though the others did put together a few fun surprises.

I am soon going to be MoH for someone else, but she already had some ideas of what she'd like to do so has done most of the "big" organizing herself too. Also, I'm the only hen with children and the only one that's living at the other end of the country from all the others (who all know each other too). So the others are getting together to do some planning along with the bride, and I'm not having to do very much except giving a few opinions on things (and also hoping to do a few nice/fun surprises too). Makes sense really, as I'm always flat out with work/kids etc and too far away so it would be quite hard for me to do much more, whereas I think they're quite enjoying meeting up in the pub to make plans!

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