Should MOH's step up and plan hen do's?

(36 Posts)
hairtearing Mon 22-Apr-13 10:45:47

That really, I'd feel far too cheeky to ask mine to do it, but the expectation makes me feel like if I organise my own I'm a sad case sad

Whats the consensus?

AIBU to worry about who plans my hen do?

Fecklessdizzy Mon 22-Apr-13 11:04:44

What's a MOH? If it's Mother Of Husband I'd rather be eaten by wolves than let DP's mum sort it out for me ... grin

hairtearing Mon 22-Apr-13 11:07:09

maid of honour , oh god no

hairtearing Mon 22-Apr-13 13:46:05

Has anyone planned their own /had someone else do it and really like it?

smartdoodle Mon 22-Apr-13 16:03:37

I'm currently organizing my best mates. I'm moh for her and she did mine a couple of years ago.
However I think the best way to do it is have the bride involved as well. I've drawn up a big list of ideas and then went and had a chat with her to see what she thought, she's picked out what she likes and then I'll go arrange it and make it happen.
She gets input on who to invite etc but I'll send the invites and what not. The only thing she won't be involved in is the goody bags as I'd like them to be a nice suprise. We're having a spa type hen do with a night out so the goody bags will be packed with stuff like eye masks and spa slippers soaps etc. Ebay is a god send for stuff like that!!!

OhTheConfusion Mon 22-Apr-13 16:12:33

I was MOH a few years ago. I offered to book the hen (only a day, not a weekend). I (along with the bridesmaids) booked a spa day for the bride, bridesmaids, mother of the bride and a few friends. This is what the bride said she fancied. I organised that we would have 2 treatments in the morning, a light lunch, then hair and make up in the afternoon. I then booked a meal in a top hotel with cocktail making class and treats for the bride... including a surprise suite for us all to get ready in.

2 weeks before the bride called to say she didn't really fancy the menu at night... the menu was vast... so she had cancelled it and booked the local chinese instead. They could only take us at 6.30pm so no time for spa and to get back and changed sad. The hen was terrible and I felt like I should keep telling everyone I didn't organise it!!!

GreenShadow Mon 22-Apr-13 19:23:43

I organised my own Hen Party, but then it wasn't the flashy sort of thing that most people seem to do now.

We just went to a restaurant/dancing and back home to bed by midnight.

tabulahrasa Mon 22-Apr-13 19:28:19

Lots of people organize their own - if that's what you're more comfortable with then do that, it'll be fine.

I organized my sister's, but it was more a case of her telling me what she wanted and me doing all the donkey work, lol.

CheeseTMouse Mon 22-Apr-13 19:34:09

I organised my own - afternoon tea in a nice hotel. My view was that I knew what I wanted to do and didn't want anyone second guessing and surprising me!

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Mon 22-Apr-13 19:36:01

My moh organized some of mine, we decided which city to go to and I told her who to invite. She organized venues and the hotel. I organized a mini bus plus driver and did goody bags for all of us.

WilsonFrickett Mon 22-Apr-13 19:40:15

Bride and MOH plan it - ie the MOH is the person who knows the bride best, so between the two of them they come up with the idea/plan/budget/dates. But the MOH does all the doing.

Do whatever works best for you, surely? Though if you want to make sure you'll like it, it's probably best to at least have some input yourself.

I organized mine pretty much (twas a very small one though!), though the others did put together a few fun surprises.

I am soon going to be MoH for someone else, but she already had some ideas of what she'd like to do so has done most of the "big" organizing herself too. Also, I'm the only hen with children and the only one that's living at the other end of the country from all the others (who all know each other too). So the others are getting together to do some planning along with the bride, and I'm not having to do very much except giving a few opinions on things (and also hoping to do a few nice/fun surprises too). Makes sense really, as I'm always flat out with work/kids etc and too far away so it would be quite hard for me to do much more, whereas I think they're quite enjoying meeting up in the pub to make plans!

hairtearing Tue 23-Apr-13 10:22:20

I don't mind either way tbh, aslong as its good its just my MOH has shown no real initiative or interest and coupled with the expectation of 'your MOH should do it!' I feel perhaps the lack of interest is a bit hmm

But I'd feel way to cheeky to give a verbal kick up the bum.

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 23-Apr-13 10:24:53

I didn't organise it, but I mentioned to my moh what I didn't want, maybe if you did this it would be a polite way to let her know you want to have a hen night?

LippiPongstocking Tue 23-Apr-13 10:46:20

Have you, you know, actually asked her if she's going to organise it?

hairtearing Tue 23-Apr-13 10:59:30

No Lippi I'm too worried to appear cheeky, although roles reversed I would be raring to go.

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 23-Apr-13 11:11:01

You need to ask. Otherwise you'll be disappointed, and she'll have no idea!

ChasedByBees Tue 23-Apr-13 11:12:18

I'm a control freak project manager. I did my own.

bugsyburge Tue 23-Apr-13 11:41:54

I did my own too.... I have pockets of friends so although everyone knew of the other people, they didn't know them well so I thought it easier to organise my own....worked well I think.... they each surprised me with token gestures throughout the weekend which was lovely smile

LippiPongstocking Tue 23-Apr-13 12:14:02

Then flipping well ask her, you 'nana! It's not being cheeky, but she's probably sitting around being all upset that you don't appear to want her involved.

Depends, of course, if you actually DO want her to do it.

hairtearing Tue 23-Apr-13 16:06:47

Hmm I do need to ask Dont I? In a nudging kind of way, how would I phrase it without sounding demanding.

PoppyWearer Tue 23-Apr-13 16:08:22

I organised my own as my DSis was my bridesmaid/MOH and didn't know my friends. and I am a control freak

LippiPongstocking Tue 23-Apr-13 16:49:05

Just say something like: "Would you like to arrange my hen party, I'd be honoured if you did" or something similar.

I was very lucky, I had two good friends volunteer to arrange mine, so I just gave them a list of email addresses, and left them to it. They wouldn't tell me what was going on till the day and it was great.

aldiwhore Tue 23-Apr-13 16:51:07

My Mate of Honour (there's no way she would tolerate being called a maid) arranged one of mine, it wasn't my sort of thing so I arranged another myself.

It's just a party... don't overthink things, don't overcharge people, don't try to outdo any other hen night ever arranged. Do get your friends together and have a good night out.

I did my own, and my sister did her own although I was her MOH. It was easier all round.

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