Wibu to let my 3 yo wee in the back garden

(43 Posts)
mum1979100 Sun 21-Apr-13 15:39:12

looking for a bit of advice here. When potty training I would let him wee in garden or sometimes behind a tree when out and about. As sometimes needs must and he couldn't hold it til getting to toilet.
But he fully potty trained now. When he is playing in the garden he will now pull down his pants and wee himself. Sometimes before I realise what he is doing.

My dh is making a big thing about how he has to go back into house for wee now he is a big boy. For fear that he will start to think it's normal to just wee anywhere. But it involves a great argument as he doesn't want to stop what he is doing.

When I am at home on my own in the week I also have a 1 yo. We spend a lot of time playing in garden. So arguing with 3 yo about going to toilet and trying to escort him with 1 yo in tow is hard work.

Do other people insist they go back in to toilet? Are you all going to tell me I am disgusting for even asking this? We have a big grassy back garden. So I am not talking about a patio or anything.

I suppose a compromise would be re introducing potty just for in garden. But we only just got rid of the potty.

plantsitter Sun 21-Apr-13 15:42:21

If he is only doing it in the garden, I would not bother about it. Or maybe I would keep saying 'wee in the bathroom please' but not in the middle of an actual wee.

If he's doing it elsewhere too though you really need to tackle it.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Sun 21-Apr-13 15:42:42

I wouldn't let it continue. When will it stop otherwise?

Would you be happy if your ds did it in someone else's garden?

IMO wee outside is only acceptable if the nearest toilets are a very long way away.

It's tricky with a smaller dc too, but you need to start getting him to go to the loo before you go out into the garden and if you don't manage to stop him in time then make sure you tell him that it's not allowed and remind him that we wee in the toilet.

Squitten Sun 21-Apr-13 15:43:34

Personally, I would make him go back inside. It's all fine when he's in your own garden but what about in other people's homes? I think when they're just learning the habit, it's important to reinforce it. Being caught out in the park is one thing but I wouldn't encourage it as a regular thing at home.

SillyTilly123 Sun 21-Apr-13 15:43:37

I would bring the potty back. You can get them fairly cheap.

InvaderZim Sun 21-Apr-13 15:48:20

I once had a 5 year old wee in the garden/play area at nursery and he basically said "what's the problem?" hmm

Just a taste of what could happen.

JeremyPiven Sun 21-Apr-13 15:48:40

I let mine, but only on a specific tree. We have a big garden and also have a 1yo. Although DS1 is perfectly well potty-trained, by the time we got back to the house, got everybody's wellies off and to the bathroom it might be too late. And it's a load of faff. He knows its only in our garden, only in 1 place, and if you are goin in for a drink or whatever you take the opportunity to visit bathroom too.

I wouldn't want dd to do this or ds when he's big enough. Surely the loo is only thirty seconds away. I don't wee in the garden and, like you said, he's fully toilet trained now.

purplewithred Sun 21-Apr-13 16:00:57

Get a compost bin and get him to wee in that. And DH too, very good for the compost.

TidyDancer Sun 21-Apr-13 16:08:46

Ooh no I wouldn't let this carry on. I agree with your DH. At the very least, bring back the potty.

mum1979100 Sun 21-Apr-13 16:30:16

Thanks. Point taken!

CloudsAndTrees Sun 21-Apr-13 16:44:04

I'm with your DH. I was with you when my 2.5 yo was newly potty trained, until he weed in someone else's garden and then I went like this >blush and put a stop to it.

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 21-Apr-13 16:50:42

I think that's a bit gross, sorry. I'd make him go to the loo. It's a very basic social norm that he needs to get to grips with.

prophylaxis Sun 21-Apr-13 16:52:09

It's probably beneficial, perhaps the smell of your child's urine will deter any local cats from choosing it as their personal toilet.

OTheHugeManatee Sun 21-Apr-13 16:58:52

Make him wee on the compost heap. Wee is very beneficial to composting, as it helps speed up decomposition.

Or instigate a 'pee bale' like the National Trust. <not helping>

specialsubject Sun 21-Apr-13 17:27:21

as long as he learns to find a discreet corner where no-one will tread in it, it will be absorbed by soil (so doesn't stink out hard surfaced areas) and no-one can see him from the front, why not?

Good for the garden, saves water and once he is past puberty, will keep off foxes and badgers.

HerrenaHarridan Sun 21-Apr-13 17:34:36

What a bunch of weirdos!

Of course it's ok to pee in your own garden provided its grassy and fairly large.

Like many other things you need to teach him that's its only acceptable in certain circumstances.

nulgirl Sun 21-Apr-13 17:51:16

Agree with Herrena. Can't see any problem with kids peeing outside. My ds loves to do it. I'm pretty sure that our garden is peed on regularly by local cats and foxes. As long as its not in the same spot then it won't smell and tbh in this country it rains so much that it would be washed away anyway.

Idocrazythings Sun 21-Apr-13 17:51:28

Dear god. He's three! Relax a little. He'll figure it out soon enough. If you can't cope with a small garden wee- NEVER move to Australia… (not that you said you wanted to or anything).

PS it's not just good for compost excellent for lemon bushes too!

sits in disbelief, especially after the runners poo thread!

Smudging Sun 21-Apr-13 17:52:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pouffepants Sun 21-Apr-13 17:55:04

When I was potty training ds, he was often out on the road working with me (deliveries), so out of necessity had to pee in hedges.

But when he started nursery no-one realised for ages that he was peeing in the corner of the playground, which was a bit embarrassing when we found out.

Idocrazythings Sun 21-Apr-13 17:55:10

Oh no you can't wee on grass it will go yellow! Mulch or trees! Your dog must be very well trained smudging

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 21-Apr-13 17:57:38


I let mine wee in the garden at this age, it was easier than trying to persuade them to stop what they were doing and go into the house. If you had a dog your garden would be covered in dog wee. Bit of small-boy wee is not going to do any harm.

As long as he realises it's in your garden only, not at nursery or in the park or in anyone else's garden.

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 21-Apr-13 17:59:01

Mine don't wee in the garden any more, but do wee in bushes if we are out on long walks in the country. as do I

usualsuspect Sun 21-Apr-13 18:00:40

I wouldn't worry about him weeing in the garden at all.

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