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AIBU?

to think all you smug bastards with GARDENS don't know how lucky you are!

112 replies

TrappedInHell · 20/04/2013 13:56

Sorry, sorry, sorry but I am RANTING and feeling full of woe is me! I live in a fucking FLAT on the 2nd floor. I feel trapped, hemmed in and high up. I want to send the DCs out into the sunshine while I do stuff. I want to plant flowers and mow grass just to get the smell. I want to hang washing and see the wind blow through it. I want my toddler to have a sandpit. I want to sit outside in the sun with a glass of wine. I want to do the DCs a bbq. How did my life come to this??? There is nothing I can do to change for the foreseeable future.

AAAAARRRRRGGHHHHHH!

OP posts:

Report

crazynanna · 20/04/2013 14:00

Any chance of you getting a local allotment?

aftereight · 20/04/2013 14:01

If you live near me you can come and share my (v small) garden in return for weeding and mowing

KirjavaTheCat · 20/04/2013 14:01

Seriously, I know exactly how you feel. Although I have a garden now, sorry!

I lived in a tiny tiny two-bed terraced house with a tinytinytiny patch of concrete leading to a concrete alley, and I hated every single second of summer. I scrubbed the alley and planted things in pots there, which all inevitably died but that's how desperate I was for some green!

Have you looked into whether your local neighbourhood have a community garden scheme? We had one in our old town, it was a communal area where you'd volunteer to plant bulbs and mow grass and grow flowers - it was brilliant for kids in the summer. Worth looking into!

Oh, and I think it's legal in some places to have barbecues in parks as long as you tidy after yourself. Have a check with your local council. There's nothing like a park barbecue

JaquelineHyde · 20/04/2013 14:02

I feel for you, I have been there and would not like to go back.

wibblyjelly · 20/04/2013 14:02

I feel your pain, we were in a flat last summer while I was pregnant. Its horrible not having a garden. Do you have a communal garden at all? Failing that, nearby park? I know its not the same, but at least you can be in the sunshine.

Mrsrobertduvall · 20/04/2013 14:04

I feel guilty now' as I have been moaning to dh about how the garden is too big, and I'd like a smaller one

Loveiswhereitfalls · 20/04/2013 14:08

When we lived in a flat I would just pack a picnic and go to the park for the entire day .
Now I am sat here looking out at my lovely gardn with the doors shut because the bastard cat keeps bringing live mice in and dumping them

SoupDragon · 20/04/2013 14:09

You're welcome to come and mow mine if you want. It's approximately 180 x 40ft and uphill. It'll put you off mowing for life.

I have a bad back and can't face it right now.

JakeBullet · 20/04/2013 14:10

I have been there too OP and I totally and utterly understand your rant. I honestly do, two years ago I was housed in a two bed house with a garden which had never been touched, I am slowly sorting it out and feel so so fortunate to have it,

OhLori · 20/04/2013 14:10

Most privileged people live in a bubble. They think everyone lives in the past or like those Move to the Country programmes. To me having a garden is actually a privilege most people take for granted.

I was driving in an interesting part of London today, where they are building swanky high-rises. They are actually potentially exciting in some ways e.g. the penthouse fantasy, etc if one is young, single, whatever. However, I think we are meant to be closer to the land including gardens. Its just part of our nature as human beings. We were borne of the earth and long periods away from it (in flats, in offices, in schoolrooms) is not a good feeling. Also, see my thread "Should I move to a caravan" but .

TrappedInHell · 20/04/2013 14:11

Been on the list for an allotment for over a year. No community garden. Park full of dog shit!

Thanks for being nice so far. It is bloody harder than I expected and nice weather just makes me madder.

OP posts:

LooseyMy · 20/04/2013 14:13

You can have mine! Looking after it is a pain!

TrappedInHell · 20/04/2013 14:13

OhLori I am an earthy type and it has definitely taken it's toll on my mental health .

OP posts:

WishIdbeenatigermum · 20/04/2013 14:14

I hear you op! I got a garden for the first time ever when I was 40. I'm sitting in it now. When the dcs were toddlers we'd literally spend all day in the park. Do you have relatives with gardens? My poor parents had us descend on them most weekends in the summer when the dcs were small.

BlackeyedSusan · 20/04/2013 14:15

there is no reason why you can not have a sandpit in a flat apart from needing a very good vacuum the rest I agree with.

BegoniaBampot · 20/04/2013 14:15

that's a shame Op, don't blame you for having a rant.

BlackeyedSusan · 20/04/2013 14:18

oh and a builders tray from wicks to catch the worst of it.

BlackeyedSusan · 20/04/2013 14:19

can you do pots on the window sill?

TrappedInHell · 20/04/2013 14:19

oh WishIdbeenatigermum WOW. Very happy for you!

We have always had a garden until last year. DCs have grown up with one. In fact I purposely bought a house with large garden immediately that I found I was pregnant 16 years ago! Don't ask what happened .

OP posts:

perplexedpirate · 20/04/2013 14:20

You are welcome to mine OP. It's scruffy, windy ALL the time and nothing grows apart from some horrid vine that has strangled the life out of my apple tree. I have tried everything and it never works. That garden is my life's failure and it just sits outside my window, day in, day out, depressing the bejesus out of me.

ThatGhastlyWoman · 20/04/2013 14:20

Have you got anything like this local to you?

www.growyourneighboursown.org.uk/

We have a garden sharing scheme in Edinburgh- very cool idea. Basically, it matches up people who can't manage their gardens with those who would like access to one. It's not quite the same, of course, but still pretty damned good.

NotAnotherPackedLunch · 20/04/2013 14:20

OP- I'm really sorry you are trapped without a garden.
We're in our first house with a garden and it's brilliant.
Whilst going to the park and having an allotment help a bit, there is nothing to beat chucking the children outside to play while you potter about doing jobs round them and then being able to take a glass of wine out once they are in bed.
I hope something unexpected comes up and you get a chance to have a garden.

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HerrenaHarridan · 20/04/2013 14:20

If your park has the local kids football clubs on then the dog shit will be getting cleared every time they play so might not be as bad as you think.

Also lots of councils are running garden matchmaker schemes so people like you and people who have a garden but struggle to maintain it can get together

WishIdbeenatigermum · 20/04/2013 14:22

trapped can you camp?? We were in Germany one year and apart from proper tourists like us there were a lot of families escaping from flats in nearby towns, cats tv and literally the kitchen sink for the summer.

VinegarDrinker · 20/04/2013 14:25

I'm a real outdoorsy type but we lived in flats with no gardens til very recently (and our current one is tiny and still a bit of a work in progress toddler death trap ), one thing I did that made me happy was growing veg in window boxes. It doesn't make up for a lack of a garden at all, really, but I did get to get mud under my fingernails which cheered me up a bit.

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