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To expect a mother to teach her child to stop being a little shit

(279 Posts)
Loopyhasanotherbean Fri 19-Apr-13 21:07:46

We go to a toddler group and there is one child who attends who persistently gives an evil stare to other children before running at them and pushing them over. This has resulted in tears from the other children almost every week for months on end. He is 2 and is doing this on purpose and the others are too nice and kind to retaliate, not that we would want them to really. He also snatches whatever toy he wants from any other child or baby, using whatever force necessary to get his own way. None of the other children do anything to provoke this, they are all gentle well behaved toddlers and getting very upset and not knowing what they have done wrong to mean they get hurt.

She never apologises on his behalf and he won't say sorry (he isn't at all sorry). Are we all being unreasonable to expect her to start disciplining him, taking responsibility for his behaviour and teaching him how to behave towards the other children?? We don't know what to do, but I am not sure I can bite my tongue much longer. She is as far as I know a nice woman, but she does not tell him off and he doesn't go to nursery do there is no one else to discipline him....

Manyofhorror3 Wed 24-Apr-13 12:22:27

God don't some people take everything so SERIOUSLY! I've read more and more forum posts and they are universally humourless, pontificating and judgemental. Everything that parenting shouldn't be, in fact.
I don't think my friend is quite as hardcore, and she doesn't HS but the posts certainly shed light on what I receive to be her more bizarre moments. (Like taking the last two cups of water for the kids at playgroup, so that her DD could choose the cup colour she wanted, and seeing as DD wanted both, another child got none. That sort of thing.)

Carpe is it a PFB thing? How on earth can one apply that theory to more than one child?

CarpeVinum Wed 24-Apr-13 14:02:47

I've read more and more forum posts and they are universally humourless, pontificating and judgemental. Everything that parenting shouldn't be

Well if it helps, (because of this thread my old obsession reignited and I've been neck deep in latest developments for the last couple of days) I've discovered a new (as in organised, under an umbrella, with wording designed to neutralise the typical "loaded statement" rebuttals from The Outraged so a Tsunami of "how very very dare you, go educate yourself you ignorant non free thinking sheeple!" doesn't drown out debate) push to fight back against the concept of coercion being absolutly almost anything a non TCS/RU parent says or does when they interact with their kids.

They are getting away with boldly shining a light on the rife "unparenting" that has allowed things like kids poo in the middle of a conference floor, telling other hotel patrons to "fuck off", smashing up bits of the conference centre and generally making other people groan. The comments are just as informative as to the wind of change as the piece itself

It's possible that a tipping point has been reached and people with leanings towards freer or free range children are pulling back from the more radical interpretations because it goes against their instincts, or they have seen enough evidence that the "my kids are great, learning and terribly well behaved" is a bit of a fib/overstatement when the kids are actually met in person. So far it seems to be centred in the states, but there is a bit of a kerfuffle in the UK at the mo, and it will be interesting to see if the motivation (currently centred on guru/VIP power struggles I think)

Carpe is it a PFB thing? How on earth can one apply that theory to more than one child?

PFB can the entry point, there's been a rise in hardcore attachment parenting which does tend to feed people into these sorts of strategies as babies grow, but I've seen nothing to suggest that people are limiting family size in order to keep doing it. Actually in the states there seems to be this "secular Quiverful-ish, earth mothery, birth junkie-esque" vibe accompanying it and families with 4, 5, 6 or more kids abound. Plus the "can't get behind The Pearls" Gentle Christian homeschoolers are taking it up by the bucketload, and they tend to lean towards more kids rather than fewer too. The big gurus have several kids. This video is one of the more famous ones with her 4 kids, I think they were all RUed from birth. She's just been on Wife Swap as well, and doesn't appear to feel her family is being misrepresented by the media that she keeps on whoring her family's lifestyle out to before somebody starts yelling at me about "evil TV editing something from thin air".

I do kind of feel I don't need to watch my key words so much anymore, kind of think The Outraged have too much on their plate to start with the Flying Monkey squads on mere generic forums at the mo. Not while they are dealing with the seeds of "civil war".

CarpeVinum Wed 24-Apr-13 14:04:47

Holy Lost Train of Thought Batman!

"and it will be interesting to see if the motivation (currently centred on guru/VIP power struggles I think) turns out to be something similar

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