To expect a mother to teach her child to stop being a little shit

(279 Posts)
Loopyhasanotherbean Fri 19-Apr-13 21:07:46

We go to a toddler group and there is one child who attends who persistently gives an evil stare to other children before running at them and pushing them over. This has resulted in tears from the other children almost every week for months on end. He is 2 and is doing this on purpose and the others are too nice and kind to retaliate, not that we would want them to really. He also snatches whatever toy he wants from any other child or baby, using whatever force necessary to get his own way. None of the other children do anything to provoke this, they are all gentle well behaved toddlers and getting very upset and not knowing what they have done wrong to mean they get hurt.

She never apologises on his behalf and he won't say sorry (he isn't at all sorry). Are we all being unreasonable to expect her to start disciplining him, taking responsibility for his behaviour and teaching him how to behave towards the other children?? We don't know what to do, but I am not sure I can bite my tongue much longer. She is as far as I know a nice woman, but she does not tell him off and he doesn't go to nursery do there is no one else to discipline him....

He is 2. What exactly would you like her to say that would get through to a 2 year old.

Perhaps shes embarrassed at his behaviour. Isnt sure how to deal with it. Who knows! Not everyone sails through being a parent.

YABU.

mrsjay Fri 19-Apr-13 21:11:03

tell him off she will soon take note of him he is only 2 you know he doesnt know what on purpose means , but I think it is ok to tell him off if your child is being hurt,

CognitiveOverload Fri 19-Apr-13 21:11:57

What I would do is teach my child how to respond appropriately. Good life lesson. There will always be children/people like this and you won't always be there to protect your child.

5318008 Fri 19-Apr-13 21:12:05

He is 2, calling him a little shit is horrible

suebfg Fri 19-Apr-13 21:12:34

YANBU - there are lots of examples of bad parenting around - this won't be the last you encounter.

EleanorFarjeon Fri 19-Apr-13 21:12:34

I don't think calling a child 'a little shit' is a good start.

UnscentedStillRomantic Fri 19-Apr-13 21:12:36

Yanbu to expect her to intervene, not at all.

I suspect calling him that on here though isn't going to strengthen your argument.

VinegarDrinker Fri 19-Apr-13 21:12:46

YABU to call a 2 year old a little shit.

BedHanger Fri 19-Apr-13 21:12:57

He's two - YANBU to expect the mother to discipline but YABVU to call a toddler a 'little shit'. sad

HollyBerryBush Fri 19-Apr-13 21:13:11

Come back in 3 years when he's at school when he has been diagnosed with ADHD.

MoaningYoniWhingesAgain Fri 19-Apr-13 21:13:12

He is a 2yo with an evil stare and snatches toys sometimes??

<boggles>

I don't know any 2yo's who are brilliant at taking turns/sharing. The evil stare sounds cool interesting.

CognitiveOverload Fri 19-Apr-13 21:13:42

Yes at 2 he is not going to be able to control himself that much.

dontmeanto Fri 19-Apr-13 21:14:01

How old is the mum? Next time he does something naughty, point it out to her loudly to make sure she notices and has to do something. "Sorry, but your little shit boy just hit that child/snatched away that toy/pushed that little girl over."

mrsjay Fri 19-Apr-13 21:14:20

do you think he is plotting to take over the word moaning grin

no 2 year old plays with anybody you do know that OP right

flippinada Fri 19-Apr-13 21:14:45

How on earth does a 2 year old give an "evil stare"?

And why are you ascribing adult motives to a little boy who is behaving like a normal 2 year old?

Forwardscatter Fri 19-Apr-13 21:14:47

Most two year olds snatch stuff, they're too small to understand ownership - everything is theirs.
Appreciate your frustration but its not nice or fair to refer to a 2yo as a 'shit'. For that, YABU.

suebfg Fri 19-Apr-13 21:15:18

To be fair to OP, she is probably just expressing her frustration at the mother who is failing to discipline her child.

thornrose Fri 19-Apr-13 21:15:30

That thread title makes you sound like a great big shit!

"He is 2 and doing this on purpose" and you know this for a fact!

ChairmanWow Fri 19-Apr-13 21:16:00

He sounds like, well, a 2 year old. Toddlers are not renowned for being angels. My DS is 2 and is a lovely boy most of the time but I've seen him snatch toys and push other kids. I do however challenge him and ask him to apologise.

She should be setting boundaries so YANBU on that front, but the tone of your post suggests you are judging and blaming a child who is too young to fully understand the consequences of his actions.

DebsMorgan Fri 19-Apr-13 21:16:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

joanofarchitrave Fri 19-Apr-13 21:16:35

could you have a session of the toddler group where you all play 'run from one end of the hall to the other screaming'?

Find an interesting/physical thing to play with (bubbles, balloon?) and a space away from the other kids, and play with him?

SherbertStraws Fri 19-Apr-13 21:16:44

Do you understand children at all, the level of responsible blame you are apportioning to a 2 year old is staggering as is calling him a shit. I very much doubt the others are as well behaved as you imply. It sounds most unlikely

VinegarDrinker Fri 19-Apr-13 21:17:12

How do you know he isn't sorry?

pollyblue Fri 19-Apr-13 21:17:41

Have you spoken to whoever runsthe group and asked them to have a word with the mum re giving back toys he has snatched/telling him firmly 'no' if he pushes a child over?

YABU to expect a 2yo to apologise and YABU to call him a 'little shit'. If you start refering to a child in those terms you will grow to expect the worse of them, all the time.

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