To find the 10 o'clock news so upsetting

(28 Posts)
appletarts Fri 19-Apr-13 08:25:12

That I had trouble falling asleep? DP says this is not normal. There was a story last night about an 11 year old girl who was subjected to a 3 hour rape ordeal and I caught this story just as I was heading off to bed. I couldn't sleep for thinking about this poor girl and her family and how she was ever going to live a life after that. I'm not like this with all news stories, in fact have never had trouble sleeping after hearing news, I just found this particularly sad. Bit sick of DP with his what's normal policing. I think I am more sensitive to bad stories since having kids. So AIBU?

appletarts Fri 19-Apr-13 11:35:40

Oh thanks Sarah, that makes sense and I agree if it kept me awake night after night or if I was getting all upset every day about news, you put that well. Sometimes you just want to do a general poll don't you to see you're not batty? DP likes to talk about normal and not normals and I'm not keen on that.

SarahAndFuck Fri 19-Apr-13 10:37:07

If the news bothered you that much every day then perhaps it would be a problem, but such at upsetting story sticking with you on one night isn't so unusual I don't think.

I can remember watching a news report about the earthquake in Haiti, and crying while I watched it, because they showed a group of elderly people who had been saved from a hospital for people with dementia, and they were sleeping on the streets under a little canvas, without their medication and they were frightened and confused, asking to go home.

The people with them, workers from the hospital, were saying that they had little food and no medicine and that if they didn't get help, food and medication soon, their patients would die.

I was heartbroken just thinking about these poor people, who couldn't understand what had happened or why they were suddenly on the streets and just wanted to go back to a familiar place and be safe.

Three years later and I still think about those people whenever the earthquake is mentioned. I hope they were alright, but I doubt it. There was a report about the earthquake one year on and it looked like many people were still on the streets under canvas, but I doubt that group survived the year.

Sometimes something like this just pushes your empathy button and it does stick with you. I think your reaction sounds normal, it would only start to be a worry if it stopped you sleeping every night from now on.

appletarts Fri 19-Apr-13 10:34:15

Bumbarer, I agree, I can't stand mawkishness. No DP was pissed off with me tossing and turning in the bed and then his comments pissed me off and kept me awake longer, didn't nod off until 3.00 and am absolutely shattered. Not thinking about news story now btw, just wondered if other folk got upset at news stories like this, seems to not be so rare. zzzzzzz

I've stopped watching the news and stick to reading the paper since I've had kids.

I just hate the way their voices are so calm when they talk about that kind of story. It's like they don't care.

I know that's totally irrational, and of course they care as much as any other journalist but reading the paper solves the issue for me.

SarahBumBarer Fri 19-Apr-13 10:29:39

I don't know. Did your DH perhaps think that you were deliberately wallowing in it/bing mawkish about it rather than actually attempting to put it out of your mind? If he did think that and you were guilty of this to a certain extent then I can sympathise with him. I think a lot of people are guilty of being mawkish, deliberately imagining themselves in the shoes of people to whom something awful has happened and getting overly upset about it. This goes beyond just empathy/sympathy and is self-indulgent and a bit crass.

If you genuinely tried to put it out of your mind and just couldn't for once because it just got under your skin and your are not normally like this then HIBU.

If this is a one-off then I don't think there's any need to do anything specific about it. If you regularly had trouble sleeping after seeing the news then that's different but this is just a single occurence.

You husband talking about what's "normal" or not is irrelevant - presuably he has occasionally in his life been bothered by something and found it hard to sleep? It's not unusual for a parent to find stories about bad things happening to children hit them far harder than other things - you are bound to think in terms of your own children, and be more emotional about it than about other stories.

mrsjay Fri 19-Apr-13 10:22:31

I can see how it pissed you off though of course it is upsetting it happened to a little girl it is real, I think people who are not affected by things is not normal ,

Crinkle77 Fri 19-Apr-13 10:20:12

I have to avoid certain programmes before I go to bed. Anything gruesome like a murder mystery or thriller I just avoid cos I end up having nightmares

appletarts Fri 19-Apr-13 10:18:27

I wouldn't miss the news to avoid sad stories because they don't usually affect me and I think it's a pretty good idea to stay in touch with world events. But this story just stayed with me for some reason and DP saying it's not normal pissed me off. I do avoid violent films because I do get upset and think it's a bit pointless then. I wonder if having children makes you more sensitive to these things? I don'it feel depressed or obsessive about things. DP can watch violent films and drop off to sleep watching them, I don't think that's bloody normal!

mrsjay Fri 19-Apr-13 10:16:10

I think it is normal to have things play on your mind it is human to be affected sometimes, although not being able to sleep and getting truly upset is worrying not abnormal but a little concerning, but I think everybody wil do it a particular news story , I remember I couldn't stop thinking about that poor girl who was gang raped on a bus her father speaking on the news was heartbreaking,

Lazyjaney Fri 19-Apr-13 10:15:18

News is bad for you

www.guardian.co.uk/media/2013/apr/12/news-is-bad-rolf-dobelli

Well argued article that news plays on our weaknesses and can be toxic

everlong Fri 19-Apr-13 10:14:26

I think most people have stuff that trigger emotions in us. For me it's suicide. Recently there have been some horrendous stories in the news/papers etc regarding suicide. It has totally played on my mind and I've obsessed about it to DH.

But it doesn't stop me sleeping. It's there in the news all the time. It's part of our world. Awful, distressing news.

turkeyboots Fri 19-Apr-13 10:10:18

Since I had DC I avoid certain newspapers, like Metro, and edit what I read about anything with dead children in it. I find it hard to deal with and so avoid it.

But if your reaction seem extreme to others, maybe you should consider a visit to GP. As others have said it is indicative of depression.

LtEveDallas Fri 19-Apr-13 10:02:25

OP, I am a hard faced cow (as my mother kindly puts it) and above all I'm practical, not particularly sentimental and have little time for people that are 'woe is me' and so on - I'm very "Come on, pull your socks up, lets find an answer, no point crying over spilt milk"

However.

Since having DD (8) I have discovered that certain news items, stories, TV programmes and books can reduce me to a snotty, snivelling wreck.

I can't watch "Meerkat Manor" because of an episode when Flower had to leave her pups behind. Any episodes of my favourite crime drams that involve children give me nightmares. Sophies Choice would just about kill me. News stories (like the suicide one mentioned above) have to be glossed over, and the endless digging, reporting and conspiracy theories about Madeline McCann have been studiously ignored.

I am a wuss - but I'm OUT and PROUD. I don't know what DD did to my insides or my hormones, but there is no point in me being ashamed or worried about it. It's just me. I cry - A LOT - and my loved ones will just have to get used to it.

eminemmerdale Fri 19-Apr-13 09:49:01

I remember obsessing about horrible things (won't say what, don't want to trigger anyone sad ) to a point where I was completely mad with it. It turned out I was having sort of breakdown - my dh used to come to the doctors with me and aked her if it was 'normal' behaviour to be obsessive about such awful things. It can be a sign of something going a bit wrong mentally for sure, but on the other hand, it's normal compassionate behaviour to be sad. I've had lots of help now and recognise the difference.

AuntieStella Fri 19-Apr-13 09:47:38

I get cross about graphic descriptions on the 6 o'clock news, but the 10 o'clock one is well past the watershed and they're ok then.

OP: perhaps you could get news from print media, as versions with stills only tend to be less intrusive.

TSSDNCOP Fri 19-Apr-13 09:44:32

I find anything to do with children way too upsetting to watch on the news. I find tears rolling down my face. It's obviously been particularly bad this week. The face of that wee lad in Boston is just so beautiful.

But then again I cried at the first episode of the village when the lad was caned for being left handed.

I am a wreck.

everlong Fri 19-Apr-13 09:43:41

Goodness me. I would say don't watch it then.

There are awful things on the news but you can avoid it.

MintyyAeroEgg Fri 19-Apr-13 09:43:21

I completely avoid the news when there is a very upsetting story (Baby P comes to mind) - I got all my information from the short daytime radio news items, and completely ignored the newspapers and tv for days.

I also haven't looked at any of the images from Boston.

There is nothing at all wrong with avoiding traumatising news stories ... infact if you are diagnosed with depression you are advised to do so.

Pagwatch Fri 19-Apr-13 09:37:54

I don't think there is anything wrong with the suggestion that you avoid the news if you are finding it upsetting

Yes, the event are still occurring but sometimes just turning over is the best thing to do. You don't have to watch.

LadyFlumpalot Fri 19-Apr-13 09:32:59

The story about the woman who committed suicide and took her child with her a few weeks back had me sobbing loudly and messily at my desk at work a few weeks back. I absently scrolled to the BBC site during my break. I was still crying hard about it when I got home.

But then, I'm depressed and undergoing CBT and am not supposed to deliberately watch upsetting things.

HolofernesesHead Fri 19-Apr-13 09:21:46

Some news stories really, really get to me. I was on a bus recently which had a little TV above the back of the driver's cab, with ads for local restaurants / local weather report etc taking up most of the screen, and news headlines scrolling along the bottom. One news headline scrolled across which was just horrific, to do with a local elderly woman being brutally killed in her own home, and I was just floored.

The fact that it was scrolling along the bottom of a screen, with a restaurant and above it, and bus commuters all chatting away made it so much sadder, and the fact that something so terrible had happened locally, yet seemed to be met with such indifference, made me feel sad and ashamed of the way our society is becoming. Maybe I over-reacted, but...maybe I didn't. Maybe we're all beoming a bit too innoculated to terrible things.

hopkinette Fri 19-Apr-13 09:16:29

It is actually possible to have a life after you've been raped.

I think sometimes a particular story can play on your mind so no YANBU!

Not watching the news though - don't get that bit. I am not into politics at all (wish I understood it more to be honest) but I do like to catch the news now and again just to keep up with what's going on in the world. Not watching it doesn't mean shit doesn't happen.

myroomisatip Fri 19-Apr-13 09:06:32

I had to stop watching the news when I had my children too and although I have only just begun to watch it again, I cannot read any book or watch any film that makes me even a little bit tense, nothing violent and definitely nothing involving children.

I think it is perfectly reasonable to feel this way!

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