to think that I am a failure as a parent because my dd aged 10 doesnt know how to ride a bike

(122 Posts)
sonu678 Thu 18-Apr-13 23:21:44

Because I have been so caught up in my own work, that I haven spent time taking her out. And her old bike has not only died in the rain where her father left it all year, and I didnt notice. And even if it was prisitne, she is too tall for it, and wouldnt be using her muscles properly on it anyways.

please tell me Im not as bad as I think I am. She hasnt done the bikability in school this week, along with 9 others, because she hasnt got a bike.

GreenPeppercorn Fri 19-Apr-13 10:33:14

She doesn't like water at all so the whole idea of swimming is alien to her. Hates her face to even be splashed in the shower let alone in the pool!

Certainly not giving up, I could have paid Tom Daly to be her private tutor the amount I've spent on lessons but we are progressing at snails pace and certainly not giving up!

ratspeaker Fri 19-Apr-13 11:20:23

My elder son didn't learn to ride a bike until his teens. A pals with a bike encouraged him.
Now in his 20s he cycles everywhere!

whois Fri 19-Apr-13 12:03:05

I think it's a bit rubbish you've not made time to teach DC how to ride a bike. It's a lovely feeling whizzing along - surely there are parks you can go to to learn in? Biking is a great family activity - there are plenty of off road trails you can do, doesn't have to be dangerous roads.

Having a bike also gives teens a bit more freedom if you live somewhere suitable.

Defo make time this summer OP, the older she gets the more embarrass and scared of falling off she will get.

EarlyInTheMorning Fri 19-Apr-13 12:06:00

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread but just to let you know that I learned to ride a bike when I was 10 years old, I still remember the day, it hasn't traumatised me at all and I ride all the time now.

shewhowines Fri 19-Apr-13 13:00:24

The younger she learns to do it, the easier it will be. She is old enough to learn on her own now. She won't fall off as she can put her feet on the ground. You don't need to take her. (if there is nowhere safe, then take her somewhere it is safe and you work in the car.

Give her the opportunity.

MimiSam Fri 19-Apr-13 13:05:49

I have a 10 year old DS who can't ride a bike, but has just expressed an interest in learning. He has hypermobility - has anyone got any tips to share to make it easier? Also, is it easier to learn to ride on grass or paved roads?
Thnaks.

shewhowines Fri 19-Apr-13 13:08:52

tarmac I think mimi - you don't want bumps in the slabs on pavements. The faster they go, the easier it is to keep their balance, so grass would be hard.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff Fri 19-Apr-13 13:11:00

I'm 32 and can't ride a bike. I simply don't have the coordination for it. I still have a happy and fulfilling life. If DH wants to go on bike rides, he goes with his friends.

shewhowines Fri 19-Apr-13 13:23:40

It's different though, if you've tried and can't get the hang of it. The OPs DD hasn't been given the opportunity to learn. She may conquer it in ten minutes, given the chance.

BonjourCheeky Fri 19-Apr-13 13:34:04

So glad to see this thread. I feel really bad too because my DD 13 can't really ride a bike. I put a lot of effort into teaching her years ago so she sort of can but doesn't do it well and so hasn't had any practice for years.
Teaching her took many hours over a long period.

I can understand not having the time. There are a billion other things we have to do and as we live in the city it's quite an effort. Sometimes you have to prioritise. Maybe there are some other things you have done with your DD which are just as great.

I disagree that everyone can take it up,given the time and effort. It's not easy at all for some people. My sister tried and tried but never managed and my DD is obviously someone who struggles. I think there is dyspraxia in the family.

My sister says bicycles are a waste of metal. Obviously because she can't do it. There's no need to diss something just because you haven't managed it. I love cycling and wish my DD could. But,you can't have or do everything !

Belugagrad Fri 19-Apr-13 14:31:27

Yabu. I learnt as an adult. Nightmare to learn in 20s.Growing up I felt embarrassed and left out. Just do it. No one regrets learning to ride a bike! I'm still annoyed at my parents!

Clawdy Fri 19-Apr-13 14:47:56

My experience exactly, Belugagrad. I learnt even later,in my 30s! Much harder then. Had to learn because we were going on a family holiday to Center Parcs,and I realised I was the only one of the party who couldn't join in the bike riding!

Schooldidi Fri 19-Apr-13 15:54:37

I can completely understand not having time to teach a child to ride a bike. That's not to say I don't spend time with my child, just that the time I spend with my child is not always available to teach something she's not particularly interested in. By the time you've got both parents working full time, so children are at after school clubs possibly til 6pm, then you get home, have dinner, do homework/reading/etc, bath and bed, so weeknights are out for a lot of people. Then weekends are packed full of things (especially if you're busy during the week), dd1 always had swimming lessons on a Sat morning, then a music group we went to in the afternoons, then Sundays were taken up with Church, food shopping, friends' parties, visiting grandparents, etc. So unless she was keen I wouldn't ever have bothered teaching her to ride. In the end she taught herself specifically for bikeability and she has been on the bike about 5 times since then (nearly 2 years ago!!). So what a waste of money that bike was, I'm very glad we got a second hand one rather than wasting the money on a new one.

Dd2 is 3 and has a balance bike. She seems a bit interested in riding it, but we'll see if that interest extends to a pedal bike later or not. I won't be going out of my way to teach her if she's not interested though, as bikes can be expensive and it's not an activity we would do as a family.

bigbuttons Fri 19-Apr-13 17:10:00

I'm really surprised at the number of people saying it doesn't matter. I think it's sad that she hasn't had a chance to learn. It's not so much about trying to teach a child and that child not being ready/interested. This is something different. This is about a child not being given the opportunity to learn.
I really hope you find the time to teach her very soon OP.

valiumredhead Fri 19-Apr-13 17:13:51

She's 10, if you get her a bike she's likely to go off on her own once she has mastered the art of riding.

Get her the bike and see how she does.

WorraLiberty Fri 19-Apr-13 17:25:59

The amount of kids doing bikability in years 5 and 6 has dropped dramatically over the last 12 years in my DC's school.

It's a shame but I think it's partly to do with parents not letting their kids out to play as much...and parents just not finding the time due to work and other commitments.

How can you say you don't have time to teach her? 30-45 mins will get her going, then take her out every weekend (or whatever time you have off with her) for an hour to cement it. Unless you spend literally zero time a week with her then you have time.

twattock Fri 19-Apr-13 20:29:50

if finding the time is the problem, don't worry about it. she will learn faster without you if our son's experience is anything to go by. we got him a bike with stabilizers to learn how to pedal it then took the pedals and the stabilizers off. he learned how to scoot then we put the pedals back on and he was riding a bike. he did it all by himself just having fun. much easier!

sonu678 Wed 01-May-13 17:21:58

update.
I took the kids out to a park, and rented bikes, yes, i spent a fortune on them, and dd was a bit wobbly for the first fifteen minutes, and then she was off. I no longer feel a failure as a parent grin

shewhowines Wed 01-May-13 17:32:35

Yay. well done. I bet they feel proud of themselves.

Oblomov Wed 01-May-13 17:34:17

OP, I do think you should have done this.
What are you going to do about it, NOW?

For ds1, there were 2 children who could already ride, without stabilisers, when they started reception. All the others, learnt in the reception year.

We have had many cycle days, almost every year since. And they also did the bikability, last year.

I am sure you could address this very quickly, with minimal effort, if you put your mind to it. I think you really should.

Oblomov Wed 01-May-13 17:35:52

Missed latest post. Am glad.
You can get fab cheap bikes on e-bay and at car boot sales. Dh bought ds1 a fab bike worth about £200 for £15 from Ascot Car boot.
Easily sorted.

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