to think that I am a failure as a parent because my dd aged 10 doesnt know how to ride a bike

(122 Posts)
sonu678 Thu 18-Apr-13 23:21:44

Because I have been so caught up in my own work, that I haven spent time taking her out. And her old bike has not only died in the rain where her father left it all year, and I didnt notice. And even if it was prisitne, she is too tall for it, and wouldnt be using her muscles properly on it anyways.

please tell me Im not as bad as I think I am. She hasnt done the bikability in school this week, along with 9 others, because she hasnt got a bike.

Doyouthinktheysaurus Fri 19-Apr-13 07:15:14

Ds2 (8) can't ride properly yet.

It's not through lack of trying, we have a go every spring but his balance and coordination are not great.

This is the first year he has really wanted to do it and has been getting better this week. I hope that another couple of days and he'll be off without me having to hold on.

I used to feel judged, especially by my mum for ds2 not riding but I don't care anymore. Some pick it up easier than others. And lets face it, most adults chose never to ride a bike!

Smudging Fri 19-Apr-13 07:16:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 19-Apr-13 07:18:36

DS2 who is 9yo can't ride a bike. He can't ride a trike either. Because he doesn't have the physical strength to push the pedals. I have been trying since he was 3yo. He has Hypermobility and dyspraxia.

He will 'get' it in the end.

I think it's important to learn to ride a bike as it gives a child so much more freedom.

bigbuttons Fri 19-Apr-13 07:27:32

I think it's important. Please find the time to teach her. dc5 (9) has a friend who still cannot ride. I know that is she very self conscious about this and the older she gets the more she is worrying and less keen to actually get out there and learn.

LadyMountbatten Fri 19-Apr-13 07:39:09

I think its an odd thing not to notice in ten years tbh

never once she has mentioned biking?

nuts

edwardsmum11 Fri 19-Apr-13 07:41:03

Well my husband taught his mother when he was in his 20s.

twooter Fri 19-Apr-13 07:44:06

It's fair enough her not riding a bike if she doesn't want to, or she's tried but just can't . It's pretty poor IMO, for her not to ride a bike because no one has made the effort to teach her.

willyoulistentome Fri 19-Apr-13 07:46:41

Unless she has SN preventing her from learning. Well sorry, but I think you really need to find the time to teach her. It is a life skill, and people will be a bit hmm if a ten year old cant do it.
I would never say it in real life but since you asked here, thats my pov.

Meglet Fri 19-Apr-13 07:47:48

DS is 6.5 and got his first bike 2yrs ago, he still can't ride a bike. We've only been out a few times due to time / weather pressures. He argues with me when we do go out and won't pedal for love nor money. At this rate I won't be at all surprised if he can't ride at 10.

He's 2.6yrs into swimming lessons and can't really swim either. It all comes down to having the time to practice and I don't have it.

JakeBullet Fri 19-Apr-13 07:52:30

Difficult one, my DS is 10 too and cannot ride a bike either. He is autistic with dyspraxia and ADHD. Fear of failure means he will not even try with a bike even though they have been bought for him. The most we have ever achieved is an enjoyment of a bike with stabilisers. Now he is 10 of course this is not acceptable even to him.

I guess not all children learn to ride bikes, it's not making you a bad parent either, I have worked with the most neglectful and chaotic families and many of them had kids who rode bikes well; well enough for them to be found loitering on the other side of town on a school night in some cases (yes we ARE talking about junior school).

Its a good skill to have and many local councils offer Bikability lessons for children who haven't ever ridden bikes before.

My DD only learnt to ride a bike recently (she's14) - has been gradually getting more confident over the last few years. I'm sure pre-teens is a fine time to learn smile

McNewPants2013 Fri 19-Apr-13 07:55:08

I can ride a bike and can not remember the last time I rode a bike, maybe 13-14 years of age.

Ds almost 7 can ride a bike, but that's thanks to my sister who trains with the British cycling team and won alot of trophies doing so.

sparkle12mar08 Fri 19-Apr-13 08:02:59

Cycling isn't a life skill in the same was a say swimming is. And you haven't failed as a parent. But you do sound as if you just can't be bothered tbh, rather than as if you genuinely want to help her learn but don't know how, or have genuine difficulties in being able to.

If it helps both of ours learnt to balance and ride without stabilisers in about twenty minutes. It then only took another three or four twenty minutes sessions for them to be confident riding on grass. So are you honestly saying you couldn't have found two hours spaced out a bit, in ten years? I'm surprised.

Dededum Fri 19-Apr-13 08:04:11

We took our non cycling boys to Centreparcs (9&7), peer pressure of everyone cycling was the key. They learnt in a day.

Rubbish swimmers though, that is more of an issue.

LifeofPo Fri 19-Apr-13 08:08:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontmindifIdo Fri 19-Apr-13 08:15:11

If you can easily afford the bike, go buy her one this weekend and spend the next few weekends teaching her - it doesn't take that long to learn, if she wants too. You'll have her riding by the time the school holidays start if you take her out at least one day of the weekend every weekend between now and then.

If it helps, I'm a terrible cyclist, i learnt as a child, but then I had some health problems around 10/11 and my parents stopped wanting me to go off riding without them for a year, and it just stopped being something I did by the time I was ok to go off on my own again.

Around 25 I was on a holiday with the now DH (who is big cyclist, races etc) and we went for a bike ride - I'd completely forgotten how to do it and had to be re-taught! I'm now always suspicious of anyone who says anything is "like riding a bike" to mean you can't forget how to do it, i'm living proof that some lifeskills can be forgotten

everlong Fri 19-Apr-13 08:20:32

Nah. Have you hell failed.

They need to be able to swim, read and write.

Riding a bike might never come in handy.

All mine can ride and the youngest two do it as a keen hobby but that's all it is a hobby.

My sons (8 & 6) can't ride bikes, they've been brought bikes and taken out a handful of times, they are just not interested. Both bikes are rusted in the garden now, I feel blush every time time there is a bike day at school and I'm scheduling routine drs/dentist appointments s they don't have to attend. I don't what them being picked on because they can't ride. No help t you but i wanted you to know, you're not the only one.

diddl Fri 19-Apr-13 08:27:40

I do think it's a shame that she's had a bike & outgrown it without learning-and that the bike has been left to go to ruin!!

Will she get another chance to do bikeability?

I live in Germany though so we cycle everywhere-and for fun!

Once we had a set of neighbours & the woman-in her 20s didn't have a bike & the children were shock grin

Would it work to take the pedals off & use as a balance bike first rather than with stabilisers?

Or just get straight to it at that age?

Should only be a weekends job to get her riding.

I don't think it makes you a failure, but it's very sad to me.

Blu Fri 19-Apr-13 08:28:54

Does she WANT to learn and to have a bike? If so, do it and put in the time, energy and some enthusiasm.

If she has no interest at all, then leave it, and you'll probably be OK unless social services find out wink

They can't swim either <terrible mother>

imour Fri 19-Apr-13 08:31:11

i felt like you , my daughter was 8 when she learnt to ride , she hasnt got on one since she learnt , that was years ago , dont beat yourself up shes got a lot more important stuff to learn in life than riding a bike .

LifeofPo Fri 19-Apr-13 08:33:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

everlong Fri 19-Apr-13 08:34:26

Now I think swimming is a life skill.

Do they not have lessons at school tits?

imour Fri 19-Apr-13 08:35:48

titsalinabumsquash that made me laugh ,i used to take mine to dentist every sports day , felt bad but kids hated sports day and didnt enter anything so would just of been sat on sidelines all day.

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