to be scared of getting married because I'm fat?

(105 Posts)
hairtearing Thu 18-Apr-13 21:40:29

I am losing some weight, trying to at least but I will always be on the bigger side my body doesn't lend itself to smallness, 5'8+ size 10 feet broad shoulder etc.
But I am dreading getting married as I am convinced everyone will be sneering and making comments about me and my dress or comparing me to my bridesmaids (much prettier) or my SIL (again much prettier) , I'm dreading the photos (even if I was skinny I look like a bulldog chewing a wasp).
I went shopping with DM the other month and spent the entire fitting talking about how good she would have looked in those dresses, and saying 'well you're on about loosing more weight aren't you?' I felt like I didn't want to get married coz well if my own mother can't make me feel okay and pretty on my wedding day I'm screwed.
I feel sick with worry and the whole idea makes me sick , dreading what should be the happiest day of my life and its got worse the closer I get.
I know this is a rant but I feel like I am going to erupt or runaway I need to spill somewhere. please diplomatic I'm on the verge of tears atm.
Do I need a shake, AIBU to dread my wedding day and think everyone will be sneering at me?

everythingishoney Sun 21-Apr-13 01:48:51

I've been to 2 weddings recently with larger ladies. Both looked absolutely stunning. Pick a beautiful dress, have an amazing hairstyle and wear beautiful jewellery and makeup and you will look fantastic, believe me. One of the weddings I went to the bride had her beautiful long hair in a top bun, all plaited around the bun. She was gorgeous.

I had negative comments about my dress from my parents. They said it wasn't what a wedding dress was supposed to look like. It was a 2-piece, duchess cream satin, long sleeved dress from Ritva Westenius. It was stunning!!!! I remember sitting in the changing room crying because they totally spoilt it for me and a really nice lady popped her head round and said, honestly love, you look fantastic in that dress. It was made for you.
Sniff!

ExRatty Sun 21-Apr-13 02:32:18

I love weddings but I never attend them for fashion. Normally they are fashion free zones with shrugs and satin galore
Anyone even vaguely fashionable looks out of place and is whispered about as "odd"

I've always gone to weddings to wish the couple well and have fun. The food is 90% gopping. The wine is almost always warm or of the cooking variety.
For all future reference Mothers are insane. Mad a snakes around weddings and during wedding planning.

So what if you are fat and tall.
Or short and skinny
So what! My best bet is that you are what you are now and you'd be better embracing that than hating yourself or feeling self conscious
Wear what you like and what you think looks nice and is comfortable

To be brutally honest lots of brides look beyond daft on their wedding day(s) It has nothing to do with height or girth. We all just go a bit dolally. Very crazily stylish people I know would have looked better in onsies than the dresses they wore. My problem was my hair and make up, whilst lovely in the comedically expensive photographs, made me look like it was covering a beard on the day.
I was married twice and looked a fright on BOTH occasions. I wish I had had the confidence to just be me.

Focus on having the most cheesy wedding disco of all time that's the good stuff to remember

lisianthus Sun 21-Apr-13 04:19:44

Please tell your mother how she made you feel. she should feel awful she made you feel that way; it wasn't very nice and she should think twice about doing it again. You are going to be a beautiful bride and your fiance's jaw will drop when he sees you at the altar because he thinks you are gorgeous.

Broad shoulders are GREAT- they mean you are an hourglass and can work the whole va-va-voom thing, and not an apple, which is harder to dress.

And on the bridesmaid thing, my gorgeous sister was my bridesmaid. She was stunning. However, only one person said to me that she "showed me up" and it was such a wankerish thing to say that it was easy to write him off as an idiot from then on. It's such a rude thing to say that it is easier for it to be "water off a duck's back" IYSWIM?

Have a wonderful day!

hairtearing Sun 21-Apr-13 22:31:46

Lisanthus- that is awful, I hope you slapped them did they say it to your face? truth be told I can guarantee someone will say that to me.

Ex ratty, I hope I don't look too daft I'm having soft curls no tiara! and I'm doing my own make up so fingers crossed,

Aw that shopper was nice.

hairtearing Sun 21-Apr-13 22:34:00

If she brings up dresses etc I think I will mention it it may sow a seed, the seamstress was nice but kept mentioning it was a 'bigger dress' 'you need some underwear to do the job'
and a pattern she picked up in my measurements were waaay bigger than my normal dress size and announced it loudly pfft.

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