To tell this woman to stop bloody tutting and shaking her head at me?

(280 Posts)
FigaroCat Mon 15-Apr-13 16:18:43

I was friends with a mum from the school run for a couple of years. Our DDs are friends and are in the same class most years. I wouldn't say we were very close friends but we got on well, met up regularly with the girls, and often texted or phoned each other.

About 6 months ago the mum stopped talking to me, almost overnight. If I went up to her at the school to talk she would just walk off, and texts were ignored. I tried to speak to her a couple of times and ask if I'd upset her at all but she just ignored me, and she now walks straight past me if she sees me, with her nose in the air.

Fair enough, I don't think I've done anything wrong at all but her choice who she's friends with and all that. However....she works 3 days a week and her mother, who is in her late fifties, does the school run for her. I previously got on well with her mother and we'd have a bit of a chat and small talk at the school. Since my friend stopped talking to me, her mother has done so too. Again no huge loss, but every time she sees me she starts shaking her head, and tutting at me.

We were just walking home from school an hour ago and my friend's daughter was behind us and called DD's name. DD turned round and waved, and I turned round too, and my friend's mum was glaring at me, tutting, shaking her head. She often tries to get eye contact with me on the school run, for example if I am talking to another mum she walks past me, looks at me and again loudly tuts, shakes her head, and glares at me. Also at the end of the Easter term there was an assembly, which my friend's mum went to, and again there as she walked past me to sit down she glared at me and shook her head.

It's like I've done something terrible and sordid and I absolutely disgust her. I don't much care now as to what they think I've done, as my ex friend's childish approach to things has made me realise she's not worth bothering about but her mum is really pissing me off.

WIBU the next time she does it to tell her to bloody well stop doing it and to get a life? DH says to ignore her but that's easier said than done!

PregnantPain Mon 15-Apr-13 16:20:48

I would be seriously considering asking what exactly her problem is, the batty cow.

edwardsmum11 Mon 15-Apr-13 16:22:11

Lol I'd be tempted to do in return... sounds several slices short of a full loaf tbh.

I would say "Either have the courage to tell me what I have done wrong or stop tutting so rudely at me every time you see me!"

EuroShaggleton Mon 15-Apr-13 16:22:26

I'd have to try to find out what on earth she thought I had done.

moonabove Mon 15-Apr-13 16:23:00

That would drive me nuts so YANBU. Definitely ask them to tell you what the problem is and stop being so bloody childish.

Have you really not got a clue what it could be about? Seems an extreme reaction and dragged on so long, surely it must be something fairly big.

Sugarice Mon 15-Apr-13 16:23:01

I couldn't ignore it and would have to say something.

Something along the lines of 'If you've got something to say bloody well say it as your tutting and glaring is getting right on my tits!'

Be prepared for when you expect to see her next.

NatashaBee Mon 15-Apr-13 16:23:45

I would ask her what her problem is, preferably in front of as many people as possible. Say you can't think what you could possibly have done to upset her, but whatever it is, you'd like the chance to know what it is so you can make amends.

FigaroCat Mon 15-Apr-13 16:24:11

Nope, not a clue moonabove. Seriously.

If I'd have run off with her husband or committed fraud on her bank account I'd understand it, but one day she was talking to me, the next day she wasn't.

daisydoodoo Mon 15-Apr-13 16:24:23

Id want to do as sdt says.

sweetiepie1979 Mon 15-Apr-13 16:24:43

Yes for goodness sake ask the woman straight out why ate yu tutti g at me have I fine something wrong? Please tell me what it is if she doesn't answer you ask some of the other mums

IYoniWantToBeWithYou Mon 15-Apr-13 16:24:46

I would want to find out my 'crime' but in reality I would just laugh every time she tutted to annoy her even more. Can you remember the last conversation you had with her?

I'm afraid to say (classy as Maid M is) I would be asking her in my roughest Yorkshire accent just what in the frig was wrong with her!! She is passive aggressive to say the least. How dare she draw attention to you in this way while going about your daily business?

On the other hand, I fear she may have been fed incorrect info about you, thus her dislike for you would be misplaced.....

Say something. You don't have to make a scene. I find people take more notice of me when I'm calm and not swearing and shouting!! Not that I'm a fishwife or anything blush

Eskino Mon 15-Apr-13 16:25:42

I'd be dying to know what I'd done, in your situation. In fact I am dying to know what you've done. You must ask her, and get back to us grin

moonabove Mon 15-Apr-13 16:27:23

That's so weird - it's already driving me nuts and it's nothing to do with me! I can only assume it's something to do with her DD.

What was she like when you were friends? Was she the type who's always got a problem with someone or other?

FigaroCat Mon 15-Apr-13 16:30:34

Yeah she seems to have problems with lots of people, but of course it's never her fault.

I truly cannot think of what I've done to cause so much offence and upset. I'm not really much of a school gate socialiser, I'm not into gossip or he said/she said kind of crap. I don't think there have been any problems between the girls, or at least if there have DD hasn't mentioned anything and they've always seemed friends.

I'm definitely going to say something to the gran the next time she starts huffing and glaring. I've ignored her so far as I thought she'd probably get bored after a while, but it really irritated me when she did it today.

quoteunquote Mon 15-Apr-13 16:31:57

"Either have the courage to tell me what I have done wrong or stop tutting so rudely at me every time you see me!"

this ^^

or blow her kisses every time you she does a tut.

ask her mum what you did to upset them?

catgirl1976 Mon 15-Apr-13 16:35:44

That's so random

They obviously think you've done something

I would be intrigued. But they sound batty.

I would be tempted to start doing something really odd back. smile I like the blowing kisses idea from quote

Or maybe just whispering random words, like 'gazebo' at them

nancerama Mon 15-Apr-13 16:37:55

Please challenge crazy lady and her mother. I need to know.

moonabove Mon 15-Apr-13 16:40:51

The fact thatshe's got the Mum involved as well seems to suggest it must be fairly significant, at least in her mind. Then again, as they're behaving in exactly the same way I presume it was the Mum who taught her this kind of passive-aggressive bollocks!

If it's not the girls then perhaps she took some remark you made and went away and brooded on it? I actually think you've been pretty tolerant if it's been going on for 6 months.

You're going to need to be quite calm though when/if she or the Mum says what the problem is - either it's going to be based on a lie or it's something so trivial any normal person would have forgotten it.

Thurlow Mon 15-Apr-13 16:41:40

You have to ask. Purely because now we need to know too.

MrsDeVere Mon 15-Apr-13 16:43:18

Someone did something like that to me once.
She had a row with someone we were both friends with.
The next day she just stopped talking to me.
It was quite a feat as we were at a play group and sitting opposite each other for 2 hours.

I had to admire her technique.

Never said a word from that day to this.

I made it into a game. I used to walk next to her whenever possible. Keeping in time. I saw her every day so I got quite good at it.

Twas hilarious.

Can you go and stand next to this mad woman and beam at her?

MrsDeVere Mon 15-Apr-13 16:44:23

and yy to needing to know.
You HAVE to ask her.

'I have noticed you tutting and glaring at me. May I ask why you are doing that?' <sweet smile>

digerd Mon 15-Apr-13 16:44:41

I am very suspicious that somebody has been stirring to break up your friendly aquaintance. Telling malicious lies about you.?

That would upset me very much how she ' walks past with her nose in the air you and ignores you and her mum tut tuts you'

I would have to find out what the matter is.

That is horrible.

DearJohnLoveSavannah Mon 15-Apr-13 16:45:04

I would say "Either have the courage to tell me what I have done wrong or stop tutting so rudely at me every time you see me!"

Say this definitely!

You will hopefully get your answer for whatever "appalling" thing you have done. Or it will bring her up on her childish behaviour.

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