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If you are a MIL, help me understand this crazy behaviour!

(186 Posts)
Wishwehadgoneabroad Sun 14-Apr-13 11:34:42

In a nutshell..

MIL now not speaking to me at all because I have 'ruined' her day.

Her day being my wedding day!!

Basically, we (DH to be and I!) want a very low key, no kids, short church wedding with a short, civilised meal after the event. The only child coming is our own (small baby)

Apparently, I am selfish, mean and 'playing games' because I am not putting family first and inviting everyone from her side of the family. The kicker, we are not inviting DH's baby nephew who is 'her world' and should be the focus of attention at her son's wedding!!

I have been polite and put her with her crazy ways over the last 4 years. Last night, she tipped me over the edge and I told her exactly what I thought - which pretty much ended in, 'My day, my way..don't really care whether you approve of our wedding plans or not, come, don't come, it's your call, but please don't dictate to me how to celebrate my wedding day'

So, AIBU or is she? And is this salvageable??!! grin

Wishwehadgoneabroad Mon 22-Apr-13 12:56:53

No response from the text....!!!!

Best bit. DP rang his siblings (2 of whom still live at home) and they claim nothings been said. I really don't believe this for a minute.

Well, at this rate, they're going to be replaced grin

Fudgemallowdelight Mon 22-Apr-13 13:28:57

I wouldn't really replace them if i were you, in case they come round and want to come later on. If you don't leave them that option you'd be basically cutting off your husband's family as I doubt they'd get over it. It's one thing to give them the impression you'll replace them, but another to really do it.

Wishwehadgoneabroad Mon 22-Apr-13 14:32:09

Hmm. Yes. That's a good point.

Well, I'm not chasing her. Such childish behaviour from a woman in her 50's!

OhLetItSnowWillItSnow Mon 05-Jan-15 12:31:48

Really hope you had a lovely wedding in the end wish

TheSpottedZebra Mon 05-Jan-15 12:47:05

Why was this bumped?

Is it time for a zombie warning on the mobile site and app?

HappyAgainOneDay Mon 05-Jan-15 12:52:59

Oh, yes, Wishwehadgoneabroad

Please let us know what happened!

PlummyBrummy Mon 05-Jan-15 13:46:50

Ooh, I was just getting right into that thread before I realised how old it was! I wonder what happened and whether MIL ever got over her self deep disappointment...

TattyDevine Mon 05-Jan-15 15:44:44

This is about the third zombie thread I've read today!

Love how everyone gets snippy about people who choose to have a child free wedding, its like they read "child free wedding" as "your baby is ugly" or something grin

An update would be fab though!

bubalou Mon 05-Jan-15 16:21:20

OP you poor thing.

It's got fuck all to do with MIL - simple. She sounds like a fucking nightmare!!!

It's up to you about wanting a child free wedding and I completely understand! I had a big wedding with 100+ guests and there were a lot of children in the family so I had them there.

However - I had a crèche / entertainer for during the ceremony for ALL children under 8 and another child's entertainer to keep them busy between the ceremony and the meal etc.

I had one particular friend of DH who I'm not that close to and his wife was the type to think her child should be the center of attention. She literally joked with me about putting him in a full suit / page boy outfit and pushing him out in front of me whilst I was walking down the aisle!!! shock

The crèche was the best thing I ever did. I wish I'd made it last longer - me and DH got 20 seconds into our first dance when his cousin thought it was ok to let her 2 kids come over and jump all over us and refuse to leave so we had to pick them up and didn't get our dance hmm

It's your wedding. Your day. You will regret changing it to suit others. I did with my devil mil and sil and I regret it to this day.

Good luck smile

OhLetItSnowWillItSnow Tue 06-Jan-15 15:06:55

thespottedzebra don't panic! I saw the zombie thread alert I was just genuinely interested in the outcome on having previously posted on the thread, and I saw it in a search and thought "I remember that thread I hope it went well". It was a concious decision

rumbleinthrjungle Tue 06-Jan-15 16:22:28

Ooh I got all excited then that the OP had come back and updated. Hope it did go well in the end OP.

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