to be fed up with being 'handed down' broken s**t

(30 Posts)
CoffeeChocolateWine Fri 12-Apr-13 10:55:53

My good friend has two children with her youngest the same age as my oldest. And she's now having a long overdue clear out of all their old toys. Every time I see her (about once every couple of months...she doesn't live that close) she gives me a bin liner full of their old stuff because my two might like it.

I'm not kidding when I say she hasn't given me a single toy that isn't broken or has bits missing. Some toys have been so broken that she's selotaped them back together and every jigsaw has at least a few pieces missing. I admit I'm a bit anal about things like this...I hate puzzles that have pieces missing and I can't think of things much more frustrating for a toddler than getting as far as almost completing a puzzle only to find the last few pieces are missing.

I'm getting really pissed off with it. Am I being ungrateful? She does give me clothes too which is brilliant and I really appreciate it, but most of the toys just end up in the bin because it's rubbish, but why can't she do this?? My DH reckons she's so emotionally attached to it that she finds it easier to give it to me than to throw it away. He also reckons I should tell her not to give it to me, but for some reason I feel like I'm being rude and ungrateful! And I keep thinking that eventually she'll run out of crap stuff to give me, but it just keeps coming!

But seriously AIBU to think that if you're going to hand things down to other children, they should be in a reasonable condition?? Why would you hand down broken toys that have been selotaped back together? Am I being ungrateful?

I handed on three bin liners full of baby clothes for a friend's daughter. But I also sorted through it first and stuff that was in poor nick was sent for recycling instead. I passed the reasonably good stuff on.

I wouldn't be happy if someone kept passing on broken toys or toys/puzzles with bits missing.

MsJupiterJones you've accpeted the stuff you've been given, so don't feel bad about it, just declutter and get rid of stuff discreetly. Keep one or two good bits if your friend is the type to notice and get rid of the rest.

NynaevesSister Fri 12-Apr-13 12:00:51

I would have loved to have been passed stuff on but we were pretty much the first to produce out of friends and family so had no one to give to us.

gail734 Fri 12-Apr-13 12:45:14

daveydavidson You have to ask yourself - is this basically as good as new? Would I want it myself? If the answer is no, bin/recycle. The only stuff I've passed on to friends has been some brand new, label-on gifts that the baby grew too fast to ever wear. Or wacky, season inappropriate things, like the newborn snowsuit for my July baby!?
Pilgit The cat shit detail is disgusting. Some people are just plain old-fashioned mad.
I'm currently using a Little Tikes activity centre, passed down by SIL. Dd loves it, but when it arrived it was filthy. I sat it in the bath, sprayed it with Dettol and hosed it down with the shower - good as new. Would it have killed her to rub a wipe over it?

CoffeeChocolateWine Fri 12-Apr-13 23:04:28

Davey you misunderstand...I am so so grateful for the stuff that has been given to me that is in useable condition and I'm ure your friend will be too. I've had loads of clothes given to me which is brilliant...especially for my DD who is 9 months and growing out of stuff so quickly.

But with the toys... If it was just a wobbly wheel or a missing arm...at least you can still play with them. I'll give you some examples...a Mr Potato Head that comes with one arm and one ear. How much playtime entertainment can a child get with this? A 24-piece floor puzzle with 7 pieces missing...that's over a quarter of the puzzle missing. One of those crawling balls that neither moves nor plays a tune (yes I've changed the batteries) because the buttons are jammed beyond repair. A peg puzzle with only 2 out of the 10 inserts (and the ones that are included have been scribbled all over with pens). A toy drill that is selotaped together and missing all the bits that go with it. It is tat. I can't bring myself to take it to a charity shop...I just can't believe they wouldn't send me out with directions to the nearest dump! I'd be embarrassed giving it.

It's really irritating as we feel like we're a dumping ground for stuff she doesn't want and it just ends up cluttering our house up until we get round to ditching it

My feelings EXACTLY. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

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